by Geri Fitzsimmons & Andy Stephenson1
The easy camaraderie at Mallory’s that night quickly drifted away into a serious conversation between Doctor Neil Harris and Detective Joe Farley. Huddled at a rear table, viewed through a hazy atmosphere of dull lighting and cigarette smoke, the two friends were nearly invisible from the bar area.2
Neil confided, “ I called the Crisis Line and spoke with a supervisor. I was told that the information about their success rate was not shared with the public." Neil had just polished off a corn beef on rye. He washed the remains down with a beer. 3
“Beer, lad?” Joe shook his head. He felt justified in kidding the Doc about the beer. This was the first time Joe had seen Neil drink alcohol before a show.4
“Seems to fit with corn beef and horseradish. Those names I found online… Mark refused to release the tapes for those dates.”5
"Don’t sweat it. We already have them.” Joe assured him. “I figured you were on to something so I did some digging myself. In the past twelve months there have been ten women who overdosed on the same medication. In a city smaller than New York it would have caught our attention much faster. The Baine investigation has been upgraded to a possible serial murder investigation, and for that we have you to thank." 6
"Serial Murder?" Now that Joe had named it, Neil was tempted to order another beer. Then thought better of it and waved Sandy back when the waitress started for their table.7
"Yes, prescription drug suicide on a large scale seems very unlikely. Something else is going on."8
“Were the women ill, perhaps with debilitating or end stage diseases?”9
Joe shrugged, “No connection there. They were young, fairly healthy women. Depressed, maybe, but then who isn’t?” The Detectives’ tone had changed to a ‘play it down’ tone as if suddenly realizing that the man across from him had ties to the News Media. 10
Then as if wagering that friendship would prove stronger than ego, he pressed on, “We’ll get as much info together as we can in the next few days. Then the Chief will bring it to the Mayor’s attention. Probably set up a taskforce.” Still, Joe was already anticipating the part he would get to play. 11
"Do you think you can find who's behind this?"12
"Well, Doc, that’s if there is someone behind it. “Joe’s ‘play it down mode briefly resurfaced before he shook it off and admitted, “You've provided not only our link but our best lead. Apparently, our young suicides all contacted the Crisis Line before they made their final decision. At least five we’re certain of were referred from your station." 13
‘Referred from his show.’ Damn it, he should have been allowed to talk with them…not on the air perhaps, but he could have suggested a later session.14
Neil Harris wasn’t feeling much like the psychiatrist he professed to be. Michelle Baine’s pathetic voice was implanted in his memory. She had turned to him as her last hope—he failed her. And the others—how many others?15
After the conversation with Joe Farley, he drove to the station fully intending to brace Mark Gheil with the information he’d learned from the Detective. If his show was going to continue, they were going to make some changes. He’d been mentally practicing his arguments all the way in.16
He entered through the rear door, and was completely thrown off his game as he found himself confronted by the producer.17
“Join me in my office.” Mark’s tone didn’t broker a refusal.18
As Doctor Neil Harris followed behind the younger, larger and taller man he suddenly felt like a schoolboy heading for the principal’s office. ‘I’m ten years older, already sporting some gray hairs, and hell of a better income,’ he thought and wondered if it was Mark’s size or mouth he found more intimidating. He fought an urge to laugh. Wisely it remained an urge. 19
They stepped into Mark’s office.20
“Four damn fuckin’ hours.” Mark stormed around Neil to slam his office door shut. He spun back his face a thundercloud, he ranted, “Four hours they raked me over the coals Neil. The station manager said the police came by and got a printout of our caller ID lists for the past six months. Then they confiscated tapes of the show. Connelly’s fuming—skinned my hide in front of the lawyers," said Mark. The fury continued to flash in his eyes. "Why couldn't you leave well enough alone?"21
"I have to do what I believe is right. Too many callers have killed themselves."22
"So…we can't assume liability for all the nut cases in this city who want to do themselves in. That's what the Crisis Line is for. You should have never talked with that detective friend of yours."23
Neil perched on the edge of the desk like a bird ready to take flight; as Mark stomped around to drop in his chair. He picked up a Styrofoam cup from his desk, finished the coffee, wiped it inside and out with a used napkin, folded the napkin and tossed both in the trash. Neil had seen him do this many times so he ignored it.24
“Don’t you realize Mark,” Neil said. “So long as we advertise the fact I’m a psychiatrist we are obligated to give the serious cases the same consideration we give the comics who amuse the audience. We can’t keep up the practice of switching them over to Crisis Center.”25
Mark had his chin resting in his left palm, now he unconsciously raised his right hand to scratch at, then smooth the hair on the back of his head. He stared at the doctor and utter in disbelief, “You want to practice your profession on the air? In what damn universe!” 26
“Well…not exactly. I was thinking more in terms of allowing the questionable cases the opportunity of a private phone session with me. “27
“We’re going to stop in the middle of a live show, to allow you to have a private conversation with ‘Sweet Sally’ while the audience starts switching their dials because of the dead silence on KJAB? Or maybe we should hire someone with less of an ethics problem.” Like any cautious businessman Mark tended to play down the value of an individual to their face. 28
Neil, fully aware of the ploy, snapped, "You threatening me? Maybe you think I’m easily replaceable; but Connelly did hire me himself. So you can try treating me with a little respect." 29
"You pompous ass!" shouted Mark who pushed up to his feet and towered over Neil. "If push comes to shove, do you think management will back me or you?"30
Standing now, Neil growled, "You forget, I don't need this job. I have a lucrative practice. What have you got to fall back on?"31
Neil was normally mild mannered, so Mark was taken back when the middle-aged male confronted anger with anger. Apparently the fists forming at the younger man’s sides, in a different era might have been used to settle the argument. But, today there were things other than strength to take into consideration. Not only did Connelly, KJAB’s owner, like Neil but so did the radio audience. “Let’s calm down.” He offered his hand. “This isn’t getting us anywhere. We’ll get together in the morning; see what kind of compromises we can come up with. We've got a show to do and it's just about time."32
33
On the other side of Manhattan in a far less affluent studio arrangement, there were ten tiny cubicles with a separate computer terminal for each. There were usually ten volunteers at a time handling the phones. Presently, being the graveyard shift, three hadn’t shown up so there were only seven to relieve the present shift. 34
Some of the arriving shift members staked a claim on a favorite station and were hovering at the opening waiting to take over when its present occupant picked up and exited.35
"Did you know that the police were here today?" asked Sherry, the middle-aged night supervisor at the Crisis Line. Since she was one of the few paid employees, she didn’t deem it necessary to get to work more than a few minutes before her scheduled time. She was setting up the institutional size coffee pot that was made only once a night, and tasted a little like tar before the shift was over. Since Sherry drank tea and kept the coffee grounds in the supervisor’s office, which was off limits unless you were called in for a one on one warning, no one could correct the situation. So during the one-hour lunch break they were allotted half way through the shift, some of the volunteers bought their own coffee from the Dunkin Donuts shop down the street. 36
"What did they want?" The same question came from several of the volunteers.37
"When May called me to fill me in,” she said, referring to the morning supervisor. “They asked a lot of questions but only took a computer printout of all our calls for the last twelve months."38
"Really?" Dale a most dependable young man asked. Sally silently wished she had more like him. Then she wouldn’t be so damn short handed at night when they were needed most. 39
"Yeah." 40
“Wow, wonder what they’re after?” Kelsey, a plain young lady with acme scars on her cheeks that her makeup couldn’t hide; and razor scars at her wrists she kept hidden beneath long sleeved shirts, was obviously excited. “Were they checking into anyone’s background?”41
“May said,” Sally, continued to repeat what the other supervisor told her. “They just wanted files?” 42
Dale asked, "For all shifts?"43
"I don't know." Sally was clearly disappointed she had no further information to divulge. “You better man those phones.”44
The new shift headed for their stations as the departing volunteers of the Crises Center made their way out into the false brightness of a New York night, and Doctor Neil Harris waited for his signal. 45
Mark Gheil’s hand came down. Neil cleared his throat.46
"This is KJAB, talk radio, 102.1 on your radio dial. I'm Doctor Neil Harris and I'm here to discuss your problems in the wee hours of this morning. Who do we have as our first caller?"47
The voice was muffled, like the caller intended to hide her identity behind a palm. “Renee,” she nearly whispered.48
“Renee, a lovely name,” Neil answered. “And Renee…what seems to be your problem? How can I help you?” Was followed by the expected pause.49
They always had second thoughts. Always needed the pause before they could say the words that disclosed the reason for the late night call. Once decided, the tone became rushed and the words spilled out. “New York is so stifling, so many people but I’m invisible to them. I’m alone. My job isn’t working out, I don’t…” Sobs had built in her throat and now they burst forth to flood her words and make them nearly indistinguishable. 50
Neil’s voice was soft and confident. “Take your time Renee. I’m here to listen. You’re not alone when you have someone who will listen. Take a few deep breaths…”51
He caught Mark’s stare. With a lift of his chin and quick head shaking he indicated a sharp no. “Try counting slowly,” he said into the receiver. “That’s better. How long have you been in the City?”52
“Four, no three and a half months. Sometimes I wish I was dead.”53
“You have a lot of company there.” Neil gave a gentle laugh. Then suddenly he heard the taped conversation of his own voice in his ear, “I need you to listen carefully. I'm going to switch you over to Mark, my producer, and he is going to connect you with someone who can help you."54
He could see Mark was already punching the keys that would connect the caller to the 24-hour Crisis Line. Through his headphones he heard the male voice cut in, “Hi Renee, I’m Dale, I’ve been where you are…”55
Neil’s face felt like fresh sunburn, and the heat of anger crept rapidly up his spine to his neck. He could do nothing but say into the receiver, “and who is our next caller?”
In a list
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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Hey Andy and Geri,
The second draft is going very well. All the characters feel like old friends now and I'd be happy to join Joe and Niel at Mallory's for a beer. I see from the comments that Andy has had quite a bit of help with his editing chores. I only found one thing.
Para10-line3-realizing that (the) man had ties to the media. That's it
Steve
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for the catch Steve, as always your opinion is appreciated.
Like Andy said, somewhere in the second draft is a slight inconsistency concerning Neil’s boat—if you come across it, I know you let us in on where it is.
Don’t sweat it though—Andy’s on the hunt
.
Geri
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Hi Steve!
I think we have a content mistake in this draft which hasn't been corrected, some place. It's about Sandy being surprised about Neil's yacht when she already knows about it. If you happen to notice that one, I'd really appreciate it.
Thanks for catching yet another mistake that was trying its best to get by us.
It always amazes me how hard it is to catch all the little problems.
Andy
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Another beautiful chapter, sorry I haven't reviewed lately, I have just been obsorbed in my second fav t.v show, cating up for the next episode. GL and keep up the good work.
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Faith, I can't believe a TV show rates above our hardwork
and only a second favorite--guess we don't stand a chance against your favorite one 
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Hi there, UD!
You moved through this so quickly, I didn't catch all your comments
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I get involved with things, too. I've got so much reading to do, I feel like I'll never catch up.
Which television show do you watch?
Andy
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I am curently obsorbed in Psych >.> But mytwoother vices are Supernatural and Merlin. cannot wait for season 4 to contiunbe with Spych, thoughI am only on the second ep, Seson 5 of supernatural starts on thursday the 11 and Merlinstarts onthe 28,or 27 I think.
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Howdy UD!
I've been letting the television run while I'm on the computer, set to movies I like or think I'd like. I'm not involved with any television series except for 'Real Time' with Bill Mahar.
Andy
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Lol...I am about to make a music vid with my fav paring from Psych... >.> which you now have to look up on line and watch XD You willdie laughing...litterly o.o
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Hmm.
Can you send me the link?
Andy
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sent in a message
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WOW
That manager seems shady! This is so addictting!
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Howdy!
I'm still chasing down your comments. We appreciate them and the applause.
The manager done it...? Interesting? I think you're the first to find him to be sinister.
Andy
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Hi great chapter and I found nothing wrong
Are you giving the killer away so soon? or is it just a tease?
If I'd got some sleep last night, I'd keep reading, but I'm sitting here half asleep.
I'll try to keep going with it this time so I won't have to go back and reread.
Good Job
Tris
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Hi Trish!
There is certainly a lot of rereading when a person is writing a novel. I've probably read each chapter four or five times at least. Fortunately, this work seems to be turning out very well and rereading it is a pleasure.
Thanks so much for reading us and for commenting and all the applause.
Andy
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The crisis worker who has problems, Mark is actually quite unlikable and I feel so sorry for Neil! An action packed story, just when things looked like they were slowing down, it picks up again!
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Hi Mike!
Mark is rather self-centered. About the only thing good about him is Bridgett
. You know how it is, good women choosing sorry men
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Neil does pretty well at holding his own ground.
I think that things stay interesting throughout the story. I get wrapped up in it whenever I'm working on it
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Andy
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Once again lovely work. Just when I think I could maybe like Mark he acts like a dope. It's realistic how you have one of the crisis workers actually have scares of her own. Seems right on to real life. The only suggestion I have was paragraph (36)I kind of struggled through.. Maybe make it a little shorter? Just a suggestion. Love the story.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Hi Artaq!
How goes it today?
I'm very glad that you're enjoying your walk through our story.
Geri is very creative. She dreamed up Kelsey and her phobias.
I'll have a look at paragraph 36.
Thanks for reading us and all the applause.
Andy
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I like that Neil Harris guy, he's got a conscience.
the scenes detailing life behind 'off-air' at the radio station are quite life-like and I'm sure that's what happens.
I don't think I've read any of this story before now so I can only assume the Crisis Centre (or someone in it) is involved in the murders although it seems a little too easy to deduce if this is the case.
I may be getting confused here, but is this story related to the SR Murders? The reason I ask is because of the 'coincidences' such as serial murders, prescription drugs and Joe Farley.
Anyway, this was an enjoyable read with believable characters and scenarios.
Lovely stuff
Lawrie
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Hi Lawrie!
It's interesting that we've got you at both ends of our novel. 'The Devil Came East' is 'Secret(Silent) Radio Murders' in the second draft. The second draft is actually much better than the first, but at this time, we've only posted through chapter sixteen. If you'd like to catch the novel at the beginning, here's the link:
http://storywrite.com/list/36716-The-Devil-Came-East
We've started marketing our novel and have received our first two rejections for the same agent.
Thanks very much for reading us, which ever draft you prefer. Thanks also for commenting and all the applause.
Andy
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Lawrie,
you caught us .
This is the second draft of S R Murders. Andy's posting the clearer work and we kind of like this title better. The story grew so much it outgrew its title
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Thanks for reading and commenting. We'll check those marks.
Andy
Geri
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Found one sort of awkward point in paragraph 39: I think the first part could do with a little rewording. Perhaps "...asked Dale, a most dependable young man." or something along those lines; it just felt slightly off as is. Apart from that, though, no other typos jumped out at me, and no major errors to speak of. Mark's becoming quite the office tyrant...I'm glad that Neil has more of a conscience than he does. A refreshing read, as always =)
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Hi!
Are you enjoying our characters? Geri is a marvel at creating them. Mark is trying to push Neil around, we'll see how it works out. Thanks a bunch for sticking with us.
Andy
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You know, I'm liking Mark less and less. Wondering now just what it is he thinks he's hiding so well. This is beautifully cast, especially the dialogue between the Crisis Line volunteers.
Just a technical note, in paragraph thirteen, there is a misplaced quotation mark. There are several such further down. You might want to just give this chapter another once-over to check for typos. Otherwise, nicely done. -
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Hi Miss Rain!
I see that you are online. I'm replying to your comments from the last chapter to chapter two.
I appreciate you catching our typos. I will come back to correct them here later. In the meantime, I'll try to make certain I've caught them all in the copy we're preparing for the agent.
Thanks,
Andy
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A good story here ~ I seem to recall I've read an earlier chapter. I can see it becoming a movie somewhere down the track. Your characters are defined, although perhaps some of the descriptions are a tad long-winded and could be tightened up with some different wording.
I did enjoy reading this chapter, though, and commend you both on your collaboration.
As ever, I'm a terrible one for picking up typos (except, of course, in my own work ~ I seem to have a blind spot there! ), so bear with me whilst I point them out.
Para 9: “Were the women ill, perhaps with debilitating or end stage diseases?” ~ This is actually two questions, so it would be better to break it up and insert an extra question mark, thus: "Were the women ill? Perhaps with debilitating or end stage diseases?” Either that or you could drop the 'perhaps' in the middle.
Para 10: The Detectives’ (Detective's) tone had changed to a ‘play it down’ tone as if suddenly realizing that man across from him had ties to the News Media.
Para 11: Probably setup (set up) a taskforce.” Still, Joe was already anticipating the part he would get to play.
Para 15: Neil Harris wasn’t feeling much like the Psychiatrist[,] he professed to be. (Drop the comma).
Para 19: ‘I’m ten years older, already sporting some gray hairs, and [Hell of] (a hell of a)better income,’
Para 21: He spun back (comma) his face a thundercloud[,] as he ranted, “Four hours they raked me over the coals(comma) Neil.
Para 23: You should [have] never have talked with that detective friend of yours."
Para 25: We can’t keep up the practice of switching them over to (the) Crises (Crisis) Center.”
Para 26: He stared at the doctor and utter(ed) in disbelief,
Para 27: I was thinking more in terms of allowing the questionable cases the opportunity of a private phone session with me. “ (")
Para 41: “Wow, wonder what they’re after?” (said) Kelsey, a plain young lady with acme (acne) scars on her cheeks that her make(-)up couldn’t hide[;] and razor scars at her wrists she kept hidden beneath long sleeved shirts[,]. (She) was obviously excited. “Were they checking into anyone’s background?”
Para 45: the departing volunteers of the Crises (Crisis) Center
Anyhow, well done, and keep up the great storytelling!
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Hi there!
I seemed to have missed replying to this comment. Sorry.
We're very pleased that you like this story.
Wow! You found a bunch of typos. We'll get them straightened out.
Andy
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WOW! This is really, very good. I enjoyed this chapter a lot.
I like Neil's character. I like his integrity,how he cares about the callers, and how he stood up to his boss.
I noticed a couple of typos:
Para 11.... “We’ll get as much info together as we can in the next few days. Then the Chief will bring it to the Mayor’s attention. Probably setup a taskforce.”
-- Should setup be two separate words? Maybe I'm wrong.
Para 15... Neil Harris wasn’t feeling much like the Psychiatrist, he professed to be.
-- I'm not sure, but maybe you should omit the comma here?
Para 19....‘I’m ten years older, already sporting some gray hairs, and Hell of better income,’
-- Should this be and a hell of a better income?
Para 25.... “So long as we advertise the fact I’m a psychiatrist we are obligated to give the serious cases the same consideration we give the comics who amuse the audience. We can’t keep up the practice of switching them over to Crises Center.”
--- Should this be 'Crisis' Center. I'm only wondering, because throughout this piece, you've spelled it as crisis, not crises.
Anyhow...this was very, very well done. I'm enjoying this a great deal. I love a good serial killer story!
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Thanks for reading and finding those goofs. Andy's
trying to get this second draft edited.
So when you pick out mistakes, it makes it easier
Geri
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Thanks!
I believe you are right about all the corrections you suggested. We'll try to get them fixed. We're very happy that you like this chapter and hope, if you haven't, that you have a chance to check out the earlier chapters. This is the second draft.
We really appreciate you checking the story out.
Andy
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