Stairway to Resilience(Chapter one)

STAIRWAY TO RESILIENCE1

CHAPTER ONE-CRIES FOR HELP2

Anah had just stepped off the school bus and opened the gate to enter her yard when she heard the same old thing she had always heard. Crash, bang and the long loud cries that her mother Lily cried when her husband Lloyd had beaten her and had another abusive attack. Everyone on Anah's school bus heard the same thing she had heard everyday, but for some reason Social Services had never been called.3

Anah was seven years old and in Elementary school. All she ever wanted in her life was two parents who loved her and each other. She had always dreamed of getting off the bus and coming home to her parents holding each other in the driveway, looking forward to them seeing her but she knew that her dreams would never become a reality.4

Anah rushed in the front door of her big white two story house and found her six year old brother, Abraham, curled up in a ball underneath the kitchen table. He was watching his daddy push him mommy around and hearing her be called all sorts of bad names. Anah rushed over to hold Abraham in her arms. Ashtrays were being thrown at her while their mom lifted both of her arms in the air and put them over her head and face, trying to protect herself from getting hit. This was nothing new to Anah. Abraham was too young to understand. It was something they both saw day and night. They never saw any different so therefore, they didn't know any better.5

'Go to your damn room!' their dad screamed. ' Right now!' he demanded. Anah, too was scared to get up and sat right under the table thinking of what her dad would do if she didn't do what he said, but it was too late to think. Lloyd had already grabbed his daughter by the ears and had thrown her across the kitchen floor.6

'What are you deaf?' he father screamed.7

'No, I'm not.' cried Anah.8

Abraham was still cuddled up in a ball under the table.9

'I don't want to hear you, get to your room right now!' demanded her dad.10

Anah slowly but surely tried to get her balance as she stood up but it was hard.11

She walked upstairs to her bedroom and shut the door behind her. She buried her face in the pillow and couldn't stop thinking about how horrible her dad had treated his own family, but she knew that there was nothing she could do. She was only seven years old and she knew she was just a child.12

From all the way upstairs, she heard her dad screaming about money and how Anah's mom hadn't contributed to any of the bills. Lily was a hard worker. She worked the graveyard shift so she could be home with her children in the morning and afternoon. She was a certified nurses aid at the Putnam county Hospital in Beekman, New York. Lloyd worked in the daytime. He was a security manager at a big retail store in the mall. He worked 8am-5pm. They both worked hard but Lloyd had never given his wife any credit.13

Abraham stumbled into his big sisters room. He always opened up her door and went inside to sit with her. Anah picked up her brother and hugged him with tears in her eyes. 14

'I love you' she said softly. 15

Abraham sometimes said it back but not very often. Anah heard someone coming up the stairs so she picked Abraham up and placed him in her lap. Her bedroom door opened. It was their mother, full of tears. Anah cried as her mom ran over to her two precious children and said 'Daddy will be back later, he has to go back to work. He was just on his lunch break.'16

'Mommy, why does daddy get so mad at us?' cried Anah.17

'Daddy's just stressed out, he will be happy again soon.' replied Anah's mother.18

They all went downstairs together and had some chocolate chip cookies and milk. Of course, Abraham had crumbs all over his outfit but it didn't matter, considering that all their clothes came from the Salvation Army.19

Anah gave her mom and her little brother a kiss and then went upstairs to do her Math homework. Anah was a fairly smart girl so her homework was pretty easy to her most of the time. Of course she struggled every now and than but that was normal. It took Anah about 15 minutes to finish her homework and to pick out her clothes for the next school day. After she was done picking out her clothes, she went into Abe's dresser and picked him out an outfit for the following day too. Abe's dresser was in their mom and dads room. The only way she was allowed in their bedroom was if she was getting Abe's clothes. Â That was something Anah never understood. She always wondered what the big secret was.20

Next thing Anah heard was a loud noise downstairs. She went downstairs to see what all the commotion was and she noticed that her mother was in a big rush to get the table set for dinner. Lloyd was walking up the driveway and she barely had anything set out for dinner. She kept looking out the window as she counted down the seconds that Lloyd would walk in the door. She knew that right when he came in she wouldn't be greeted with a friendly hello or a hug. She knew she would possibly get hit and screamed at. That was what Lily was used too. To her, this kind of behavior was normal. She didn't know any different. The minute she looked out her window, Lloyd was back in his car. Lily knew she had to rush and get dinner on the table along with the rest of the dishes that were not set out yet.21

'Mom, where is the soap so I can wash my hands?' yelled Anah from the downstairs bathroom.22

'There is a bar under the sink.' yelled Lily.23

Anah reached under the sink and grabbed the unopened bar of soap and washed her hands thoroughly. She called for Abe, not knowing that he was right next to her.24

'Daddy's home' groaned Abe.25

'I know.' said Anah.26

Dinner was ready and set on the plates right as Lloyd walked in the door.27

'What's for dinner, I'm starving' yelled Lloyd. grinning from ear to ear.28

'Spaghetti with meatballs and cream corn.' replied Lily.29

As they sat down for dinner at their assigned seats, there was nothing but silence.30

Lloyd assigned seats for dinner because he had to be in control. He had to sit at the end of the table because it made him feel like a king.31

'How was your day dad' Anah asked.32

'Oh, it was just another day' said Anah's dad.33

Throughout dinner, no one said another word. They knew better. Anah and Abe knew that if they spoke, without being asked to speak, that their face would soon be shoved in their plate and they would go without dinner for the night.34

At seven years old, Anah was forced to do a lot of chores and cleaning. Cleaning the kitchen directly after supper was one of them. She sat at the table and waited for everyone else to finish. That was one of the household rules also. No one was aloud to get up from the table until everyone else was done eating.35

After everyone finished dinner, Anah started cleaning the kitchen and began doing what she called her'duty.' Cleaning the kitchen included taking the dished from the table and putting them into the sink, rinsing them off and putting them into the dishwasher, wiping the table and the counter tops and sweeping the kitchen floor. If her father really wanted her to work, he would have her mop the kitchen floor. 36

When she was finished with the kitchen she brushed her teeth, helped Abe into bed and spent a little time working on her poems.37

Writing was Anah's only way to 'cope.' She wrote down all her feelings on paper and didn't care what she wrote because what she wrote down was how she really felt. Writing became Anah's escape. Her escape from her father and the abuse.38