La Ragazza Che Ha Pianto mille Lacrime.

1

Chapter One. 2

I would have had him leave. So I could have stood at the place where he slept. The bitter wind blew my hair across my face as I stood there numbly. How can they not be affected by such an event? It’s so simple, and yet so faithless… a smile and shake of the hand as they turn and walk away to the comfort of their homes. Surely just because they say they understand, doesn’t mean they actually care? Surely? I heard his footsteps approach me as I hastily wiped away the tears. I turned to face him with cold eyes. Colder than the freshly cut tombstone that stood erect for it’s owner ten feet below. He looked to the ground and put his hands in his pocket. I stared at him icily. 3

“Happy now?” I spat. He ignored my angry comment and looked out over the valley. 4

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” he said quietly. 5

“What?” I said incredulously. “We are here because of you… and you comment on the view? You’re worse than I thought!” I screamed. I turned to face the grave again. The sight of him made me feel sick. More so than the tomb with the familiar name written on it. “Sarah, surely you don’t still blame me?” he whispered. Spinning round, I faced him again and backed against the stone. He flinched as he saw what was in my eyes. That fugitive resentment he had once seen before. “You were the only one with him. None of us knows what happened that night. I daresay we never will. But I doubt you just stood back and watched. I bet you helped your friend…” I stopped suddenly. Frowning, I said slowly, “No. On second thoughts, I bet you just watched it all, didn’t you?” I threw myself at him and shook him by the collar. “I hate you! Murderer, I hate you, I ha-” Taking my hands he easily prized them apart and held them tightly. “Stop it! What was I to do?” He shouted, “It was hard for me as well!” I stared at him as tears rolled sadly down his cheek. “Sarah, he was my brother. Why do you assume I let him die? I never wanted this any more than you.” I fell silent and looked at the ground. “Yeah, you’re right. No one wanted him to die, but… I guess I deserved it. My life, up till now, has been happy and perfect. I suppose it’s about time something went wrong.” I said with remorse. 6

“Sarah, stop it. You are only twenty-three; you have your life ahead of you. What would he say if he saw you now? He wouldn’t want to see you like this,” he paused to think quickly. Then- “You understand, don’t you? You know I wouldn’t do what they say I did…”7

“But… the rumours...?” I stammered. 8

“Exactly. Rumours. Sarah, he was dead before I got to him.” He softened his voice and let go of my hands. His eyes fell to my feet and he blinked. “You’re standing on his grave,” he whispered. I moved aside and wept. I knew from that day on I could no longer blame him. But I wanted to, whom else could I blame? He was the only one who knew the story and he would not tell. I was bitter about the whole thing and desperately wanted answers. And yet… I resented the fact that he had power in this situation. I just turned to face the beautiful view again, determined to stay silent. I thought it was my imagination, but my senses soon confirmed that the icy drip, drip on my skin was rain. I heard movement behind me as he approached and took my hand. I let his cold hand wrap its fingers round mine as I began to weep. He sighed softly as I turned to face him. I looked right into his eyes and saw it all. The truth and the understanding we both shared. “Forgive me…” I whispered.9

“No. Forgive me,” he said softly. The rain soaked his hair to his handsome face as it dripped from his long lashes. He smiled down at me as he took my head in his hands. His eyes searched mine as he moved closer and closer. So close I could see the different shades of blue in his eyes… his soft lips caressed mine as we stood there, blinded by our passion. To us, there was no freshly dug up earth beneath our feet, no rain that fell harshly on every leaf, deafening us with nature’s angry rage. We stood there drenched in rain as we kissed for what seemed like sweet eternity. He pushed me against the tombstone and began to undo my shirt. I was about to do the same to him when I thought I heard a distant voice calling on the wind. My blood curdled to ice when I heard it was my name. I broke apart and listened. He frowned at me.10

“What’s wrong? We’re alone now.”11

“I thought I heard...?” I did. That sad, desperate voice floating over the lonely valley, calling my name. My breath began to quicken and I began to hear the roaring of blood in my ears. I apologised hastily, turned and ran. I ran away from the cemetery, away from him and away from the whole place. I didn’t stop until I reached the church down in the bottom of the valley. I fell against the cold stonewall and welcomed the cool rain that fell onto my burning skin. I slid down the wall and closed my eyes, my breath became short and painful. He’s right, I thought furiously. “What would he say if he saw me now? Christ! I have just kissed my fianc&#;s brother while I stood on his grave! ” I cursed out loud. Angrily, I wiped away my tears as my head began to spin… my hand fell on the wet grass and I slid sideways onto the ground. My eyes opened briefly, but then-