for I Exist

I…1

I am
numb now
there is no pain,
no fear,
no sorrow.
I am completely numb.
So I feel nothing inside.
For I am as good as dead now.2

Yes, I survived
this night is over.
The bleeding has stopped.
The bruises they will fade in time
but the memories,
they will stay.3

I will never forget what happened here
your touch of pain
your gruff voice of cruel
haunting words.
Your taunts
and threats.4

I will hear them,
fear them,
feel them
over and over again
in my dreams.5

I will hear them
constantly within myself.
your voice
repeating over and over again
this nightmare.6

Yes, I did survive
however,
I am changed.7

No longer
will I be the same
innocent
loving child
that I once was.8

This night
stole my innocence
my life
my Soul.9

It even stole
my hope
for a future.10

It is true
that I did survive this night
but why?
For what reason?11

For there is nothing of me
that is left
no reason for me to be here.12

No reason to exist
in this place
in this time
in this way.13

I only need to…