How to be a Good Singer, thus also a Good Actress, Model, and Dancer

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Look! Up in the sky! It’s a singer! It’s a model! It’s an actress! It’s Paris Hilton! Watch as she dodges speeding critics and leaps over careers in a single bound! Rosalind Miles says this about the star-studded singer/actress/model/dancer: “But what a player, shuffling roles like playing cards, […]” (screen 1) and Miles is absolutely correct! Paris Hilton has it all, and anyone who says Daddy Hilton’s dollars are the pedestal on which she stands on are obviously jealous of the wide-spread, multi-talented girl (or else envious of the dough-delivering Daddy accessory she wears wrapped around her finger.) But it is not only Hilton that is discovering the interchangeable talent of the singer/actress/model/dancer—many young, famous people are discovering that they, too, can be singers/actors/models/dancers. After all, in order to be a famous singer, one has to be either a famous actor (since they are obviously the same talent), be born into the right family (the ones with money are best), or be a good dancer with top-notch lip-synching skills (think Brittany Spears!).2

Actor and singer—these words are interchangeable. Why? Because it’s the same talent. Anyone who has the ability to act also has the ability to sing, no matter the style or genre. Let’s go back to dear little Miss Hilton. After several years of appearing on TV, and even dabbling a little on the big screen, Paris Hilton broke the music industry. And why shouldn’t she? An actress uses her voice to say lines and to move audiences—so why shouldn’t that captivating voice be put to music? Of course, you get some critics like Rosalind Miles saying “In truth, she’s not a good performer, cringe-making in front of a camera” (screen1). But Miles obviously has no taste in music, so she can’t be counted as a legitimate source. How can she be, when so many other singers and actors are sharing the playing field? Think about it. Disney actresses-turned-singers Raven Simone and Hillary Duff. Ozzy Osborne. Reality TV. Rap stars that are suddenly making cute family movies with children and/or furry little animals in them. Even sports stars are making big in the music business! According to Sam Walker, Kobe Bryant—a well-known basketball player—released a singe, K.O.B.E, with well-known model Tyra Banks. He says, “Overall, this song is a tortured piece of work that sways between cuddly lyrics about ‘real love’ and bits where he brags about dating actresses and chasing after babes with ‘hourglass figures’” (screen 1). K.O.B.E’s lyrics are obviously the pinnacle of rap music, and Sam Walker is too white to appreciate them. Everyone who has listened to the single knows how much of a smash it is!! After all, it did sell 1,200 copies throughout the entire world! Anyone who has heard any of these actors’ music or seen these musicians’ movies agree that both talents are one-in-the-same. Thus, if one is already famous for acting, then there is definitely a place for you in the singing world.3

In order to really break into the singing business, one must have something called familial ties. What’s that? Why, ask any Disney channel star and they’d be perfectly willing to explain it. Take Destiny “Miley” Cyrus, for instance. Says James Poniewozik, “The success of Hannah Montana—the show, the character, the brand—is a marriage of two entertainment families: the Cyruses and Disney” (screen 1). And, without this Cyrus entertainment family, where would Destiny be? Certainly she would be in school, like any other ordinary fourteen-year-old. Certainly she would not be making millions of dollars via Disney! That’s only for extraordinarily gifted fourteen-year-olds with connections. But since her dad, Billy Rae Cyrus can do it; she was born to do it. And what about Paris’ group of Hilton Hotel Homies? Had not the star familial ties, where would she be? Probably in jail, and certainly not gracing the world with her singing/acting/modeling/dancing. So, as one can see, hardly any of these mutli-talented, wonderful singers could have ever started their journeys to stardom (if they weren’t already there) if their families hadn’t done it first. Gee, thanks Miley’s dad!!4

Another way to be a successfully famous singer is to have someone else do it for you! Yes, the talent of a dancing lip-syncher …! After all, rare are people who are talented enough to do complex dance moves and move their lips in synch with the lyrics at the same time! Says John Esther, “Unlike Ashlee Simpson or other so-called divas of today, Callas finds lip-synching dishonest [..]” (screen 1). But what this obviously-untalented lip syncher doesn’t realize is that singers have too much to be concerned about at live concerts to worry about their singing. They have to remain on-step in their complex dance routines. They have to make sure their hair and costumes don’t malfunction. They have to be wary of the sexy men sashaying across the stage to the rear and sides of them. And, above all else, they have to keep the audience entertained. Nobody wants to watch a performer sing their hearts out if there’s nothing exciting going on. Talk about a bore-fest! That’s why, in order to be a good singer, you have to be able to lip-synch and dance well, to assure audience entertainment. If you can fake it, you can make it. 5

The glittering lights. The millions of fans. The millions of dollars. All are achievable, if you retain the above talents. The combination of previous-stardom, famous Mommies and Daddies, and fabulous lip-synching skills should be enough to guarantee anyone a cloud in Hollywood Heaven—and if not … there’s always You-Tube.6