Esther, 3-4

CHapter 3:// Ungrateful1

"So where are we heading?" inquired Esther.2

After a breakfast of ramen, that Sophia had somehow acquired in the woods, Sophia and Ashlotte proceeded to pick up camp, despite Esther's protests. They had said that Esther must watch carefully this time for next time he would be assisting. All of the contents of their cozy campsite, including the fire, fit in a surprisingly small knapsack, carried by Sophia. When Esther asked her about it she replied with several terms like, thermodynamics, the three laws of energy conservation, and something about confidence. After that adventure they had set off.3

"East," replied Sophia, "I have always enjoyed Asian culture and Ashlotte wasn't really concerned where we were headed so I took over." she shrugged.4

"Well, as much as I enjoy Asian culture, I was hoping for a more specific idea. Where in Asia are you planning to go" Esther asked.5

"Oh, we don't really know," Ashlotte answered, "There might not even be an Asia in this Existence. It is always so disappointing when we can't find it."6

"How long have you been searching for Asia?" continued Esther, not really surprised by the fact.7

"Approximately two hundred twenty seven years, seven months, twelve days, sixteen hours, thirty minutes, fifty three seconds, and twenty eight parts of a second at the moment you finished stating your question. That is, of course, if the Roman Calendar holds true." Ashlotte replied. 8

Esther still wasn't surprised. You didn't get quite as unique as the sisters when the bulk of you existence was spent on what he thought to be the normal plane.9

"As for a more specific location though, we were told there is a town a little ways from here." said Sophia.10

"There are actually towns in this, er... existence?" he asked.11

"But of course, there are quite a few towns." replied Sophia, "Some of them are mildly strange but the people are generally nice. See? There is the town now." 12

Sophia pointed at a small town a football field or two off. When the had com closer they could see that the town had been built in a pre-Civil War fashion. The buildings were mostly one or two roomed cabins with the bulk of them lacking windows. There where a couple of wealthier abodes that had two stories, windows, planters, gardens and had been white washed. IN the center of the town was a grand stone church that doubled as a town house. It only had one story, but the high roof and bell tower extended above all of the other buildings. It had a stained glass window that depicted a man on a cross, being whipped. Overall, the church had a very dark feel to it. This was accentuated by the fact that the town seemed abandoned, save zealous shouts and cracks coming from the church.13

Esther noticed similar notices on all of the doors. They walked over to one of the shabbier homes and read:14

The Royal Church15

Thou must come to the Grand Sanctuary for the trial and punishment of Collier McKenzie.16

~Father Priest17

Ashlotte and her morbid curiosity won them over. She could be quite persuasive when she needed to. Upon entering the church the shouts and cracks became much more audible, and the reason for them more evident.18

"Confess to your sins and your punishment shall cease!" shouthed the priest, who was balding with dirty gray hair and was wearing the traditional priest outfit. He was standing upon a tall oaken alter, inlaid with gold and finery.19

Beneath the alter was a smaller stand, upon which sat a small mousy man with greying hair. On the front of his stand was an exchaneable face plate. It currently read: "Collier McKenzie".
"Collier," continued the priest, "This is your last chance, if you do not confess now the price of your purity shall be thirty nine lashes."
"I didn't do it!" declared Collier.
"If you insist!" returned the priest. He turned and proceeded to deal his prescribed deliverance to the crucified man. He did not cry out. It had been his existence for over two thousand and eight years now to bear his children's sins. He had once been a great mayor, he had come to the town when it had been but one small house, his. He had realized the productiveness of his children shorlty after they proclaimed him as their mayor, but he also found out about their inate wickedness. He could not stand to see punishment dealt to his children, and instead of strangling the demons int the crib he deigned to take the weight of his children's wrongs.
At first, it had worked out well. The children were few and the had actually cared about his pain. The later it got and the more of them there became the less they cared. They slowly became clever. They realized that they could sin again and again and not have to worry about the consequences. A few did care. They worried for their great great grandfather's health. They tried to get the others to help him as well but they would not listen. They scorned the foolishness of their siblings.
Esther could relate. Esther had been there. Esther new how it felt to be the scapegoat. Esther new what it was like to take the other's punishment. Esther walked out the door. With Ashlotte and Sophia close behind.20

CHapter 4:// Cats=Nice Old Ladies21

After several miles of thoughtful silence had been put between them and the town Ashlotte asked,
"Esther, do you believe in God?"
"Yes, I do Ashlotte. I was headed for Heaven before I jumped and met you." replied Esther, "Do you?"
"Well, I do believe there is a God in Existence, this or another, seeing as how the possiblities are infinite. Yet

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Comments


  • Alenia
    December 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I really do like this chapter. But the one thing I dislike is that you don't tie this in at all... Granted, it does get better; the story, of course. But... I don't know. This should be re-written. Possibly introduce a new character? Because you know yourself that this chapter could be completely removed and nothing would change....

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 2, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


    • agito
      January 25
      Edit | Reply
      It was really just character development, an idea, and the chiseling away at my writer's block for the whole thing. A new main-ish character is totally introduced in Chapter 7.