Pictures: Part Two

Dang dang dang dang DANG. I never thought Julia would do this to me. Being at Jane’s house was so much fun over the weekend, the only other thing I did was study for the billion tests I have to study for. Julia had a camera and was taking pictures and Katie and Michelle were posing and it was funny. A little weird, maybe but kind of fun. Even though it was fun seeing Katie practice her America’s Next Top Model poses, I was slightly in suspended disbelief. As friends we’ve pulled some pretty insane stupid stuff together before, but not with a camera around Suzy and I hid out a little, I’m ashamed to say. Normally I tend to be louder, more vibrant. In person, anyway. 1

Then Julia came in to school laughing about how she’d uploaded the pictures on Facebook. And it was like showing up at a surprise party, first disbelief and then wishing you could just watch a movie and eat Chinese food like you’d been told you would and fall apart for reasons that were way beyond your grasp. Let down, but so much more than letdown, the feeling is like finding out someone cheats at cards. And of course I had to sit through hours of Katie and Michelle and Julia and even Suzy laughing about the pictures because they’d all seen them. And I hadn’t so I had no idea and I had to pretend like it was funny when it wasn’t. Then my mom left me a voicemail saying Alice, who I haven’t talked to since last year when we were the only people who came to the extra grammar study sessions was coming to my house for some random reason. 2

I need to see these pictures. Downer Alice who would drink paint thinner before she actually talked to someone or smiled is not going to get in the way of that. Of course I have to go find her because she’s in some advanced English class no one else in the grade is in. Not even me. Stupid Stupid. She’ll probably be in the library, since of course she wouldn’t be in the common room with actual people. Actual people are letting me down now though, so maybe I should go to the library sometime. Alice’s humor can be interesting. Not as funny as Michelle’s, but it can be good. 3

Back to finding her so I can get home. There. Bent over a math book. 4

“Are you ready to go?”5

She just stares at me. Jeez, and I thought she was smart or something. Okay, I’m officially in a horrible mood. 6

“Sure.”7

She got up and followed me, or tried so since I was practically running, even though my backpack weighs about twenty pounds. How long will she stay over so I can check the pictures? She probably wouldn’t even notice if I did. My phone beeped and I pulled it put. It was from Kara. “Nice pic!”8

No, no, no, no NO. I need to see those pictures; I need to see them now now NOW. Will Alice mind? What is she sees them? What’s she gonna think? Whatever. I looked up and Alice was holding out my Spanish book. I hadn’t noticed dropping it9

“Hey Alice? Do you mind stopping at the computer room with me? I need to check something. Is it okay?”10

If she says no I will-11

“Sure.”12

Praise be. I should probably say something explain, so I just start saying things. Probably not brilliant, telling her since we’re not even friends but she should know. I mention something about Julia and Michelle and Katie and Suzy and instantly feel bad. Does Alice even have four friends? I can’t tell from her silence. 13

We finally make it to the computer room and I log on and find Julia’s profile. Her pictures. The abum. Click on it and –14

“Oh. My. God. Crap.”15

Alice, who’d slide into the seat next to me and came over and leaned in to see the picture. I turned around to see her face. Her eyebrows went up a little but her poker face just stared. I groaned.16

“Who took those?”17

Apparently she’d been listening to my explanation as closely as I spoke it. 18

“Julia. ”19

I clicked to see them all as a page. Alice laughed a little but a tense, pent up laugh. It made me want to want to laugh but at the same time I need to speak as little as possible. 20

“That’s…um”21

I finally did laugh.22

“Yeah.”23

She turned her head slightly. 24

“Are there any of you?”25

I don’t know, I don’t know. I started clicking through the pages (how had she taken so many?) searching. Alice’s finger crashed into the screen over and images. I clicked it. It was me, hands around my knees, smiling. It was fine. Cute. Innocent. Actually a good picture form un-photogenic me. 26

“I think that’s the only one. Of me, you know. ”27

Alice smiled. 28

“It’s not bad. At all.”29

I clicked out. I was almost happy. 30

“Yeah. God, that was scary. ”31

Alice smiled, but a far off, zoned-out smile. She probably was playing along with my meltdown and recovery but it was nice. Having her at my house probably won’t be bad. 32

“You want to go to my house now? I think I’m still kindof freaked out.”33

“That sounds good.”34

She picked up her backpack, neatly at her feet as I collected the papers that had fallen out of my bag. 35

“Cool. Let’s go. ”36