Regardless where he was in the world, the surroundings all looked the same. Sure, there were basic differences in the geological structure of the walls, but all in all, a cavern was a cavern. 1
Hanging from his usual trappings from high on a wall, Jared stared at the ground by his feet as he attempted to count the grains of sand. Glancing up as he felt someone approaching, he grimaced when he realized he’d lost count. 2
The door swung open, spilling light in to the room, which caused him to cringe. Then there she stood in all her glory, the Bitch Empress, also known as Zephyra. Petite, beautiful, and ever so innocent looking, she had a heart that rivaled the one her husband supposedly had. For years she’d tortured Jared and used him for her whims, gain and general causing of mayhem. Reuniting with her husband after nearly ten thousand years did nothing to lessen her mistreatment of him. 3
Despite the fact that Strykerius, the erstwhile husband and leader of the Spathi Warriors, demigod son of Apollo, and all around bad ass, didn’t like the way she treated her slave, she kept it up. 4
Pointing at him, she dissolved his chains with a thought, frowning as he fell to the ground when his legs wouldn’t hold him. “Get up,” she snapped, kicking him in the side. 5
Glaring, he forced himself up, keeping the pain off his face. “What now?”6
“For some odd reason,” she said, disdain lacing her words, “my husband feels you may be more receptive to my orders if you were given a little freedom.” 7
Say what? Usually he could read all thoughts, but the kick in the side had dulled the field enough that he’d missed that in her mind. Looking at her, he raised an eyebrow. “New form of torture? Give me some freedom, then snatch it away?” Raising his arms to the open chains, he shook his head. “No thanks.”8
Reaching out, she grabbed him by the neck and shoved him in to the wall. “Don’t test me,” she advised with a snarl. “I’m willing to try this Stryker’s way once, and if it works, it may result in you being granted occasional limited freedom.” Pulling him away slightly, she shoved back again, scraping his shoulders against the rough stone. 9
“If it doesn’t work?” he asked, unable after all these years to stop himself from goading her. 10
“Then you’ll only see the light of day when I need you to kill someone.” 11
“Since you’re a royal bitch and tend to piss people off, seems like it’s a win/win for me either way.”12
Eyes narrowing, Zephyra let him go and took a step back. “One of these days, Jared, you’re going to push me too far.”13
“I can only hope,” he said, using the wall for support as she glared at him. “So, when does my little reprieve start?”14
“Starting now,” she said coldly. “I expect you back immediately in seven days, unless I summon you.”15
“Seven days?” he asked, trying to hide his excitement. Knowing her, she’d dangle this in front of him, then yank it away so she could taunt him for a few centuries for daring to hope. “Aren’t you afraid I’ll destroy the universe or something?”16
“No. Because I’m forbidding you from doing that.” Smirking at him, she stared at his bare body. “If you do anything that could impact the universe in a bad way, and by bad, I mean if it effects me, then you’ll know about it.”17
Moving back slightly as she went to tap the band around his neck, he frowned. “Whatever. I’ll try to keep that in mind.”18
“You do. Now go before I change my mind and chain you upside-down.”19
“I can barely contain my enthusiasm,” he deadpanned. “So could you get the hell out so I can get dressed?” 20
~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~21
Brin backed up as something appeared in front of him. Trembling slightly, he bit his lip to keep from yelling in terror. 22
“We had a bargain,” the man said. “Which you have failed to live up to.”23
“Not my fault,” Bring tried to explain. 24
“Yes, it is.” Walking around as he studied the man, the demon Caras shook his head. “If it were up to me, I’d kill you and be done with it. But my mistress demands the soul of your friend, and I will not disappoint her.”25
“Why does she want Helen?” He knew it was a mistake to ask as soon as pain traveled through his body via the small leather collar that appeared around his neck. 26
“Until this is over, you belong to me, and will not ask questions.” Stepping back, the demon snarled. “I’m not Jaden, and won’t be easily appeased by your pitiful attempts. Either succeed or die.” With that, he was gone. 27
Finally giving himself permission to freak out, Brin kicked at the table in front of him, knocking it over and in to the television stand. 28
“Dam it,” he hissed. “Knew I shoulda dealt with Jaden instead.” Cursing his stupidity in going an alternate route from the Demon Broker, Brin contemplated contacting him anyway. Maybe he’d be able to barter something to Jaden, who could get him out of his deal with Caras, and possibly save Helen’s life in the long run. 29
Then again, Jaden could take absolute insult that he was brought in to clean up this mess, and fry Brin on the spot. Not that it would be a bad thing, since Brin was getting kind of tired of everything, but he didn’t break trust with the one person that stood by him when all else turned their backs just so he could die while trading her soul for his own gain. Honestly, some days a scheming demon couldn’t catch a break. 30
~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~31
Eyes snapping open as heavy rock music blared through the room, Vaughn was ready to yell a curse at his squire when he stopped and looked around. This wasn’t his bedroom, and glancing to the side, realized that he was alone. It was rare he’d wake in a strange bed alone, and frowned until the reason came to him. 32
Yeah, he was in flaky demon chickie’s house, recuperating from getting his ass kicked by a group of Daimons. He didn’t know which would be harder to live down… getting beat up by Daimons, or rescued by a demon who obviously didn’t have all the powers of her normal demonikyn. 33
Taking a look at the clock across the room, he stood when he saw that it was nearing dusk. Stretching to work out any kinks the bed may have given him, he bent over to grab his clothes off the low chair by the bed. Making his way to the small bathroom that was joined to the bedroom, he turned the shower on. 34
He’d just made it in to the shower when his cell phone started to ring. Grabbing a towel, he went to the bedroom, picked it up and flipped it open. “Yeah?”35
“Guess she didn’t stake you in your sleep,” came the slightly amused voice. 36
“You’re not funny, Ash,” Vaughn said. “So can I leave after my shower, or will there be another reason that you’ll think of to trap me in this tacky bedroom.”37
“It can’t be that bad.”38
“The bed sheets are lime green, Ash. Lime-friggin’-green,” he said. “With those ugly doilies everywhere.” 39
“I’ll be there in about an hour,” Ash said, trying not to laugh at the dramatics. “Think you can suffer through sixty more minutes?”40
“If I have to.” Closing the phone, Vaughn walked back to the small washroom and the shower. 41
In the living room, Helen looked down the hallway in the direction of the bedroom and frowned. Turning the volume up higher, she sighed when her impromptu guest still didn’t show. 42
“You’re going to wake the dead.”43
Whipping around at a voice she hadn’t heard in years, Helen gaped at his appearance. Tall, auburn hair pulled back in a ponytail, a face that was rugged and pretty all in one, and the funkiest eyes she’d ever seen. 44
Giving an excited squeak, she launched herself at him and hugged close as he enveloped her in his arms. Giving a gentle kiss to the top of her head, he stepped back and held her out so he could take a good look. 45
Last time he saw her, she had hair down to her tush. Now, it was just past her shoulders and a shade or two lighter than usual, with blue streaks underneath. Beyond that, and the difference in clothes, she looked the same. He could also hear the same confused thoughts in her mind that she tried so very hard to sort out, but could never quite manage to. 46
Motioning to the stereo, he turned the music down and smiled at her. “I’ve missed you.” 47
“What are you doing here?” she asked quietly. “Did the Bitch Empress finally grow a brain and free you?”48
Shaking his head, Jared pulled her to him again for a quick hug. “Not really. I have seven days free.”49
”Why?”50
“Honestly, I really don’t want to know past the reason I was given.” Taking her hand, he led her to the couch and sat down. “Never mind me,” he said. “How are you?”51
“I’m okay.”52
Raising an eyebrow, he saw and heard everything in her mind. “Brin did what?” he asked before he could stop himself. 53
“Don’t peek in my brain,” she said lightly. 54
“Sorry. Only pain can stop me from hearing when you’re this close.”55
“And I’d never hurt you,” she said. “So, how many days are left of this week’s reprieve?”56
“Just started, actually,” he said. “You were the first stop.”57
”What?” Leaning back, she shook her head. “You could do a million and one things, or kill a few dozen people without question, and you stopped here first?”58
What annoyed Jared most about Helen was her inability to see just how important she was in the universe and to him. She considered herself as unworthy, while he held her far and above all others. “All right,” he admitted. “You were actually the second stop.”59
“That’s better,” she said. “So, who’d you kill before you came here?”60
“No one. I had to drop a… friend, I guess… off someplace so he could eat.”61
“You have friends?”62
“Shocking, isn’t it,” he deadpanned. “You remember Nim?”63
”Nope.”64
“My tattoo?”65
Leaning back, she arched an eyebrow at him. “Your…tattoo?” Shaking her head, she gave a small laugh. “Half your body is covered with tattoos, Jared.” 66
That was true. His torso, upper arms, and thighs bore thick tribal markings. “Nim is part Charonte,” he told her. “I’ve had him for a while.”67
“Oh,” Helen nodded. “Last time I think he was too scared to meet me.” Turning as Jared’s head jerked to stare down the hall, she placed a hand on him as he flashed to his feet. “It’s okay,” she said. “House guest.”68
“Am I interrupting?”69
“Hope so. Acheron Parthenopaeus requested that I let this Hunter stay.”70
Settling somewhat at the mention of the Atlantean’s name, Jared eased back in to the couch. The door down the hall opened and a tall man strolled out, paused long enough to size him up, and continued towards the kitchen. 71
“Damn it, woman,” the voice eventually called out. 72
“Want me to kill him for you?” Jared offered. 73
“Naw,” Helen said. “He’s just an annoying twit that likes to bitch about everything.” She watched as Vaughn came back out holding a coffee mug. “What didn’t meet your approval this time?”74
Eyes tracked to the man sitting beside his host, and Vaughn’s internal senses knew enough to keep his mouth shut. This newcomer held the lethal aura of someone like Acheron, but did nothing to hide it. 75
“Ash should be here in about an hour,” Vaughn said as he took a drink from the mug in his hand. Grimacing slightly, he lowered it. “Got anything with caffeine in it?”76
“If you don’t like decaf, then don’t drink it,” Helen said. She glanced at Jared. “Do you need an introduction?”77
Shaking his head, Jared looked the Hunter over. “Vaughn, Greek prince, killed around twenty-one BC.”78
”Impressive,” Vaughn said, his tone showing he thought anything but. Placing the mug down, he turned to go back to the bedroom. 79
“Opted to not take Artemis’ revenge option against the woman that killed him,” Jared continued, even though Vaughn stopped walking and was slowly turning to face him. “She deserved it, Hunter.”80
“Who the hell are you?” Vaughn demanded. 81
“Jared.”82
“Well, Jared,” he said in a barely civil tone. “It would be greatly appreciated if you would see your way to fucking off and dropping dead.”83
“Nice meeting you, too,” Jared called out as Vaughn turned and stormed to the bedroom, slamming the door behind him. He looked at Helen. “Testy, isn’t he.”84
“Stop freaking people out, and they won’t be testy.” Leaning back, she gave him a coy smile. “Are you hungry,” she asked. “Or have you already eaten?”85
Licking his lips at her words, he swallowed. “I could use a bite.” 86
~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~87
“Why is the soul of Helen Vandis not in my possession?” the soothing voice asked. “She has no power, so it should not be a difficult task.”88
Caras kept his gaze on the floor. Looking this particular goddess in the eyes was something only those of her same stature would attempt. “It will be done.”89
“See to it that it is,” she said gently. “I would rather have her soul, but I can change it to work with another demon soul.” Smiling tightly, she approached and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Yours is a strong one, and may be an acceptable substitute.” 90
Tensing, Caras glanced at her delicate fingers before his gaze flicked back to the store. “May I inquire why she is needed after all these years?”91
“No, you may not.” Taking a step back, the goddess motioned for his departure. Watching as he left, she sat heavily in her chair and grimaced in slight pain. It had been a rough few millennium, and she wanted to stop needing to take demon souls to survive.92
Similar to the Daimons in existence, she had to consume souls to live, although there was one bloodline that could extend her life considerably and keep her from need a new soul every few centuries. It may have been her own bloodline, but that didn’t really matter in the larger scheme of things. 93
Feeding from family had held her for a while, and she filled in the small gaps by taking a stray demon soul here and there. Even though she was bound, and someone that had been ignored for eons, Helen was the last of the goddess’s line. With her gone, there would be no other reason for her to take souls. In theory. If that theory were wrong, then there were always other demons to consume. 94
~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~95
Fully fed, and needing to burn off the energy it provided, Jared had left in search of intimate entertainment. Helen sat on the coffee table, flicking through the television stations while waiting for the mighty Acheron to show up so she could dispose of her houseguest and go back to worrying about when Brin would be back.96
Looking up as a door creaked open, she waited until the Hunter made his way back to the living room. He looked calmer than he had when he stormed off, and she took that as a good sign that he’d soon be getting his crabby ass out of her house. 97
“Where’s your boyfriend?” Vaughn asked.98
“Jared’s not my boyfriend,” she replied. “And he had to leave.”99
“Good.” Settling on the couch, he glanced at his watch. “Ash call?”100
“No. Maybe you should leave and see if he’s waiting for you someplace else?”101
“Nice try, but Ash asked that I remain here, so here I shall remain.”102
“Imagine the thrill that gives me.” Helen said. “If you’re going to stay, you’re going to have to either lose the attitude, or keep your mouth shut.” 103
“I don’t have an attitude,” Vaughn said in a defensive tone. 104
“My mistake.” She leaned forward. “So, why didn’t you take Artemis’ revenge deal?”105
Stiffening, Vaughn glared at her. “Don’t really see where that’s any of your business.”106
“Fine.” Standing, Helen placed the remote control on top of the TV. “Guess the crime didn’t fit the punishment. Kudos to you for letting it go.” 107
Sighing, he looked up at the ceiling and shook his head. “The crime fit, but I couldn’t do it... regardless how I died.” He gave a grim smile. “Afterwards, I wanted to, but by then it was too late. Rampant stupidity was something that plagued me with her.” 108
Snorting lightly, Helen shook her head. “At least you got over it.”109
“Never said that.” He looked at her. “Sometimes the deed is so strong that even death can’t erase it.”110
Giving an exasperated sigh, Helen shook her head slightly. “What is it with you immortal types?” she asked. “So-and-so betrayed me a few thousand years back, and I can’t get over it. Waaa, waaa, waaa.” 111
“Don’t you-“112
“Don’t I what?” she interrupted. “Don’t point out that you guys love to hold on to the things that piss you off the most, and use it as an excuse to be whiny, surly, and just plain pains in the ass.”113
“I’ve killed for less than that.”114
”Then go on and kill me before your whining makes me want to jump off a bridge.” 115
“You have no idea,” he said, his voice dark and foreboding. “Sit in judgment all you want, but until you’ve been betrayed to the depth of your soul, then you can shut your mouth.”116
“Wow,” Helen replied in a semi-bored voice. “Dude, did you miss that whole episode the other night when you saved me from getting my soul removed?” shaking her head, she glared at him. “I’ve been alive for a few thousand years. Pretty sure I’ve been royally fucked around more than once somewhere along the line.” Giving him a derisive look, she turned. “Dwelling on the past does nothing but clutter up the future, and I long ago promised to never allow those that wronged me to have any lasting power over my life.”117
Stepping in front of her, he glared. “Beyond the other night, just what have you ever had to suffer through, former demon?”118
“Ooohhh,” she breathed at his attempt to insult. “You’re just Mr. Bright and Shiny, ain’t cha? Does Apollo know you’re stealing his rays?”119
“In other words,” he sneered, “you’re just casting aspersions and assuming you know all when you’re just a neophyte in suffering.” 120
Growling lightly, Helen shook her head. “Fine, Sunshine. You wanna know what grave injustice was done to me?” She paused and glared. “I’m just telling you this so you’ll shut the hell up.”121
“Please, do.”122
“Basically, I had my future ripped away by the one person I thought I could trust, and instead of laying down to die like he expected me to, I fought. He took my family, our family away from me, and I still beat him because I knew what he would do if he wasn’t stopped. I nearly died, really. Fine by me, as long as he was stopped. Then, his little concubine came upon us while we were dying, and used that moment to bind my powers and sell me to the highest bidder.”123
He stared, his expression faltering as she spoke. 124
“After a few centuries of… servitude, shall we say, I learned to use my body to gain my freedom, but the powers were still bound.” Shrugging, she looked at the ground. “I discovered a few things during that forced service, and used it to gain back a few things I’d lost. Never again would anyone hold any sort of sway over me or mine.”125
Confused slightly, he continued to stare. “Use your body? You mean…”126
“Yeah, I was a prostitute… a hooker... a whore, slut, tramp, sleaze.” Giving him a glare, she sniffed derisively. “Sometimes you do what you have to do to survive. If you’re expecting me to be ashamed or to apologize for something that happened over five thousand years ago, then you’re going to have a long wait.” 127
Watching as she spun and stormed away, he ran a hand over his face. “Way to go, stupid.”128
“In case no one’s told you before, Vaughn, you’re an incredible dumb-ass.”129
Turning to the deep voice, he groaned in annoyance at the man that stood there. “You know about her past?”130
”Why would her past matter to you?”131
Giving a killer glare, Vaughn turned and started to walk away.132
“It’s what she is now that’s the most important,” Jared called out. “She’s really the same now as she was then.”133
That brought him to a stop. Turning, he stared. “What?”134
“She’s always been smart, sweet, kind, and willing to do whatever it takes to make sure that those she cares for are protected.” 135
“Then how could she-“136
“Sell herself?” Jared finished. “Desperate times called for desperate measures.” 137
“So she’s said.”138
“Her powers were bound, so she had no way to provide or protect against certain things. Trading services was the only way to get her from there to here.” 139
“Wait. They’re still completely bound? How could she survive all this time as a free demon with bounded powers?”140
“Sheer stubbornness, really,” Jared told him. “And her friends.”141
“Does she still…” he trailed off, not knowing how to put it.142
“Use her body for gain?” Came the sarcastic reply. “No. She promised she’d never do that again, in return for us keeping her safe.” 143
Us? 144
Rolling his eyes at the silent thought, Jared looked unimpressed. “Us,” he repeated. “Her friends.” Taking a step back, he looked the Dark-Hunter over completely. “Question is, do you rate in that group, or will you be slinking away like the rat you’ve always been?” 145
~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~146
Checking his watch, Ash waited a few more minutes before knocking on the door. Blinking as it was pull open, he looked at the woman who stood there. “Evening, Helen.”147
“Ah, good,” she said. “Get his snarky ass out of my house, and I’ll listen to anything you want to talk with me about.”148
Sighing, Ash took a step in as she moved, and glanced in the direction of the bedroom. “Vaughn?” he called. 149
The door opened, letting a huge bundle of tense attitude out of the room. Pausing long enough to glare at Helen, he glanced at Ash, grabbed his jacket and headed for the door. 150
“Where do you think you’re going?” Ash asked in a calm tone.151
Stopping in his tracks, Vaughn hung his head slightly. “Don’t make me stay here, Ash,” he said quietly. 152
Staring at his back, Ash went through the earlier events, surprised that Jared had been involved in some way. “I’ll call later,” Ash said. Watching as his Hunter left, he turned to look at Helen. “Was he really that big of a pain?”153
“Insufferable,” she said. “Arrogant, obnoxious, rude and a royal twit.”154
Smiling at all the insults that actually described Vaughn rather well, he motioned to the living room area. “Jared coming back?” he asked, then banging in to her when she stopped in front of him. 155
“Who?”156
“He knows who I am, Helen,” a voice said from a chair in the corner. Both looked to find Jared sitting amongst the cushion, reading a book. 157
“Who sprung you from the wall?” Ash asked.158
“I’m in a union now,” Jared told him. “One week’s vacation every ten thousand years.” Placing the book on the floor by the chair, he stood. “To answer any questions you may have, I’ve known Helen for a long, long time. She’s one of the limited few that I could ever trust…so, if this issue with the Hunter is going to hurt her in any way, it will completely piss me off.”159
Ash nodded in understanding. “Since your threats don’t scare me in the slightest, I’ll ignore them. Vaughn won’t hurt her, and through him she’ll understand a few things.” 160
“Helen is going to go get a coffee,” Helen said dryly. “When she returns, one or both of you best start making sense.”161
“Helen?” Jared called out. 162
“Yeah?”163
“Could you do me a favor?”164
“Always.”165
“I need someone to pick up Nim,” Jared said. “He’s at a diner on fifth… the one with the killer cheesecake.”166
Studying him, Helen sighed in acceptance. “What’s he look like?”167
”About your height, dreads, and dressed like a steampunk.” 168
“Sounds about as charming as a headache,” she said politely, already picturing him in her mind.169
“Basically.” 170
“Shall I return immediately, or wait a while whilst you two discuss me without the benefit of my being here to tell you to sod off?” 171
“Give it about an hour,” Jared said, not the least bit insulted. “I won’t be here when you get back, but tell Nim to wait for me… probably be back tomorrow morning.” He smiled. “Nim is... unique… but will defend you if Brin shows back up.” 172
~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~173
Trying to pick out this Nim in the crowd would be about as difficult as finding a cactus in a room full of balloons. Sticking out like a manga inspired beacon, the man at the bar had thick hair in a sort of dreadlock look, goggles on his head, leather all over and, of all things, a small pink stuffed rabbit chained to his hip. Reminiscent of the steampunks from comic books and movies, he eyed all those around him with malicious worry. The waitress placed a coffee in front of him, then hurried away, no doubt nervous of both his look and demeanor. 174
Stopping a few feet away, Helen made sure her hands were showing, and exhaled to get rid of any nervous tension. Most demons could smell fear a mile away, and Charontes were an unpredictable bunch; especially ones that looked as young as this one. Even though he had the body of a man, she figured by the fear in his eyes that he was only a few thousand years old. 175
“Nim?”176
His gaze flicked to her, and she could tell that he had to force himself not to hiss in warning.177
“Hi,” she said in the same gentle tone, smiling slightly as black-rimmed eyes studied her.178
“Who you?” the deep voice asked.179
“Helen.”180
“Of Troy?”181
“Close.” Holding a hand out slowly, she held it palm up to show she had nothing to hide, keeping it steady as he leaned forward to sniff the fingers. “See,” she said in the same gentle voice, “I mean you no harm.”182
Calmer, but not overly satisfied, he gave her a sullen look. “Why are you here?”183
“Jared asked me to bring you to my house, and for you to stay there until he comes for you tomorrow morning.”184
“No.”185
“Please.”186
Pouting, Nim glared at her, trying to figure out if he could trust her words. She held the tinge of demon to her, yet it was buried so deep that he didn’t even know if she had any powers. “Why?”187
“Why come to my place?” she asked.188
“Yes.”189
“Besides the fact that Jared asked me to bring you there, I really don’t know,” she admitted. “I trust he has a reason, and he’ll either tell me or not tomorrow morning when he arrives.” 190
Standing, she held her hand out waiting for him to join her. Glancing from her to the waitress, he frowned and shook his head. 191
“Could we have his meal to go?” Helen asked the waitress, then glanced at Nim. “If that’s all right with you?”192
“Okay,” he said, his tone gloomy enough that she could picture a rain cloud over his head. 193
“Make it two of the same order,” Helen said to the waitress as she took her wallet out. “Toss in a couple of those heavenly looking cheesecakes, and, uh, oh heck, a couple carrot cakes, too. Wait… it’s real cream cheese frosting, right?”194
“Yes.”195
“Good,” Helen nodded. “Two of those, then.” She looked at Nim. “Anything else look good to you?”196
Unsure if she was serious, he shook his head. “No.”197
Smiling gently at the sad tone, she sat back down beside him. “You sure?” she asked, smiling again as his eyes darted to a row of donuts. Turning back to the waitress, she pointed. “Two dozen honey glazed donuts, too, please.” He turned back to Nim. “Is honey okay?”198
He loved honey…usually poured on anything and everything, along with ketchup. “Honey is okay,” he told her, trying to hide his happiness. If history had taught him anything, it was that people and demons used things to get him to trust, then they would always hurt him. 199
Waiting while the server packed up the order, Helen tried not to wince at the distrust coming off the young man. Taking the bag, she paid then turned to the door. “Come on,” she told him. “My car is outside.”200
“Car?” he asked, worry and excitement rolling in to one. He’d seen the vehicles, but had never actually been in one when he wasn’t in tattoo form. “Can I drive?”201
“Do you know how?”202
“No.”203
”Sorry,” she told him with a smile. “But, you can make all the racing noise you want while I drive.” 204
205
206
Author notes
Definition of a Steampunk
In a list
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Wow
Vaughn is real jerk. And Nim is awesome! Well written. Hmm...I could have sworn I saw a typo somewhere but when I went back to look it was gone. Hmm...you edit well or just have that much skill in grammar and spelling. On to next chapter!
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There probably was a typo someplace. I'm still finding new ones when I read old stories.
Yeah, he's a jerk. A big one. I liked writing a jerk.
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wow Vuaghn is an asshole. psh he kind of sounds like val and how he doesnt like to dress like the other 'barbariens'. XD
i love jared and jaden, and the way nim acts is so cute. ^^
"He loved honey…usually poured on anything and everything, along with ketchup."
like simi with her BrbrQ sauce. i wander if nim has his own little female model he likes himself lies ime with travis fimmel?
"If history had taught him anything, it was that people and demons used things to get him to trust, then they would always hurt him"
aw poor nim. i want to give him huggles.
. Rewarded 8
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Yes, he is an asshole ... but, it's explained later.... which makes him look like a complete asshole
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Jared!!!!
flaky demon chickie
Lime-friggin’-green! Nice description.
Jared knows Helen? ooohh... interesting.
Damn, that Vaughn is a snot, and rather mouthy, too.
So, um... just *how* was Jared fully fed? (ph 96)...
NIM!!!! Cheesecake, yum! Carrot cake, ugh! Honey glazed donuts?? Droooooolllllll
. Rewarded 6
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awsome write. amazing adaptation. of the story.
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Yea! Luv Jared and now luv you for putting Jared into one of your stories.
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You gave Jared a friend :-)
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It might seem obivous .. but this needs some formatting.
The story, however, is intriguing, it captured my interest. ("Bitch Empress"? ) And steampunk is a fun genre to play with.
Question - have you read Phillip Reeve? Mortal Engines? There's a good example of steampunk, methinks.
And couldn't help but notice your last name was Degenstein. Nice. Very nice. Classy, too.
RJ
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Ahem... yeah, I was formatting when you read. I have to post, then edit in plain text, then edit in rich text
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The story is 'fiction inspired by' (I despise the term fanfiction). Besdies, I add my own people, take canon and warp it all to heck to fit my version of how it shoul be.
T'anks for the read and the comment
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Yeah, I see that now.
'Inspired by' sounds definitely more up than 'fanfiction' .. Indeed.
I think I'll go back to the start and read over.
RJ
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