Gomen Nasai [INCOMPLETE]

A story of two brothers and a girl, a story of love, sorrow, betrayal and guilt. Hand-written, tear-stained, handwriting nearly illegible but I read it all.1

“Different kinds of stories exist in this world, some fiction some not. I’m going to tell you a story, fiction or not, it’s up to you to decide, but I’m sure, it will change your life forever. Listen to me just this once, please.2

I’m a twin, half of a whole. My brother, Michael and I have always been close, even when we were babies. We never left each other’s side, staying together. Of course, as identical twins, we look alike in every way so it was really difficult to differentiate us, but there is a difference, however subtle it is. I favour my right hand while he uses his left hand much more. Since young, people have always had trouble telling us apart, with the exception of our mother, and her. 3

The front door creaked open and I heard a whisper,
“I’m home.”
I lay quietly on my bed, making not a sound. Soon, a dark shadow entered the room, closing the door behind it.
“Michael?” I asked softly.
“Alexander! Shouldn’t you be asleep? Don’t stay up and wait for me to come back; you need to have enough sleep for school tomorrow,” Michael told me. I slipped off my bed to reach his side.
“Are you injured? Does anywhere hurt?” I asked, concerned.
Michael sighed. “Stop acting like a mother chicken, Alexander! You’re a man, not a nagging woman! And no, I’m perfectly fine, so stop worrying. Your wonderful, fantastic, amazing twin does not get hurt from fighting with pathetic, weak fools like the gangsters out there!” he boasted.
As always, I sighed. Michael was always like this. I remembered the first time he fought, returning with countless bruises covering his body.4

---Flashback---5

“I’m back.” Michael stood at the doorway, smiling happily despite his bleeding cheek.
“Oh, you’re back, Michael. Where have you been?” Mother asked, looking up from her work. When she saw the state her older son was in, she gasped. “What happened to you?”
“It’s nothing. They were insulting Mommy, saying that you were a …., I forgot, it made me angry as they were laughing, saying other bad things about you so I told them to take their words back. They wouldn’t so I hit one of them. Then, all of them came at me but I held my ground and fought with them. They ran away so I’ve won!” Michael proclaimed proudly. Mother sobbed, rushing forward to hug Michael.
“Oh Michael, thank you, you’re such a sweet boy, but don’t ever fight. Promise Mommy, you won’t ever fight again.”
Michael was stunned but ever the obedient son, he promised.
I watched from the top of the stairs; only Michael noticed me, and he smiled. Taking it as an invitation to join them, I ran down the stairs, only to trip and fall to the bottom of the stairs.
“Oww…” I winced as I tried to stand up from the tangled mess my limbs had become. Michael released himself from Mother’s embrace and came over to help me up.
“You should be more careful, Alexander. Are you hurt? Bruised? Anywhere?” Michael asked, in the concerned tone Mother always used when we get hurt.
“No, I’m fine; you should worry more about yourself, getting yourself hurt like that by fighting! Here, let’s go wash your wound…”
Mother had said not a word during our exchange, just standing there, sobbing quietly to herself.6

---End of Flashback---7

Michael had never forgotten his promise to Mother, though he had broken it numerous times but every time, it was not he who started fighting. Since then, we took care of each other, as Mother had to work so we would not starve and have a roof over our heads. The thing is, Father had died when we were young. Mother was left alone to take care of us, without help from relatives who were overseas. She raised us single-handedly, never complaining how much pain and sweat she had to go through just so that we would survive. I thought about this as I went to switch on the light so I could see Michael better. You could not blame me; I was expecting a bruised teenager in front of me, as usual, so of course I was surprised to see a perfectly fine twin instead.
“For once, you were right,” I commented, dazed from my initial shock.
Michael pouted, “Since when I wasn’t right? Go back to sleep, Alexander. Told you not to worry about me.”
“Okay okay. You go to bed soon too, nii-san,” I told him.
I returned to my bed and closed my eyes. I heard footsteps, then someone pulled the blanket over me.
“You’ll catch a cold if you don’t cover yourself when you sleep. Oh Alexander, please take care of yourself, we can’t afford it if you become sick. Ah, oww… That hurt… Stupid gangsters…” I listened silently as Michael muttered to himself. I peeked out from under the covers, and was shocked. Despite what Michael might look on the outside, a handsome, cool teenager who was perfectly free from bruises, he had a gash on right arm, long but not very deep. I was so shocked; Michael had acted that he was fine in front of him so I would not worry. But this! Oh, nii-san, don’t fight again. You promised Mother! I cried myself to sleep, thinking about Mother and Michael.8

Days passed. I grew up to be a teenager of 15, Michael too. Mother remarried, but our stepfather did not like us twins one bit. Nope, not even a tiny bit, a cell, a molecule, an atom. He hated us, but he never showed it, though we knew. He acted friendly towards us when Mother was around, but once she was not, he became the devil, scolding us, even beating us sometimes. Michael always protected me, defending me from our stepfather’s madness. For me, he sustained numerous bruises, all dealt by our stepfather. I vowed, one day, I will get back at him for hurting my dear nii-san, my brother. 9

We had to go to school of course, since we had to have an education, whether we wanted it or not; that was the law, not by choice. In school, nobody dared to bully me, the “mouse”, as the “cat” is my brother. He was known throughout the school, feared and respected by all students. However, Michael did not bully anyone, he protected those who were bullied from the bullies. That was why he was respected, as a protector of the weak. Girls threw themselves at his feet, many confessing to him, but he rejected all; they only knew him from an image created on the outside, they did not know the real him, the brother who protected his younger brother, protected his mother. Since that incident years ago, the same gangsters who had called our mother whatever it was, never dared to show their faces in front of Michael, for fear of their punishment he would give them. Nobody dared to cross him, the one known to fight without any warning.10

I soon accepted this life, enjoying every minute of it. A life was a life anyway, and nobody gave me any trouble so I should just enjoy it. However, there was still the problem of our stepfather, Ivan. Most of the time, if we were lucky, he would not be back until very late into the night, or else he would not even be back at all. Fooling around with other women, I guessed. He was never serious about our mother, as expected from a guy from him. Mother did know that Ivan beat us, though she never said anything about it to him. I always wondered why Mother remarried; she did not need another man since she had us; we would protect her at all costs. Soon, I learned why. “Love knows no bounds.” That I knew. But I did not know that Mother needed a support, one that was not her own children. That was the reason why she married Ivan, as much as he was horrible towards her, he was able to support us and could protect Mother from other guys who would do anything to get their hands on our beautiful mother. Underneath his hate towards us, he did love Mother. Because of that, they did not divorce. I soon learned how strong love is, the meaning of love.”11

Reading until here, I knew what would happen next as this story, was of the life of somebody I knew, somebody very important to me.12

“Nii-san flirted with girls, which guy doesn’t? I flirted too, but rarely since the girls showed more interested in Michael. I stayed quietly in the sidelines, though never forgotten by my brother. No matter how much he flirted, he never brought a step forward from there, staying only at the “flirting stage”. Then, he met her.
At first glance, it was obvious that she was pretty, very pretty, mixed in with the element of “cute” even. When Michael first laid eyes on her, they never left her ever again. Maybe it was love at first sight, or they could have been lovers in their previous lives. Whatever it was, Michael loved her. Michelle, that was her name, loved him too. She was popular too, with many many guys flinging themselves at her feet, proclaiming their love for her. Of course she rejected them all, seeing as they were only in love with her outer beauty. From the moment they met each other, they knew that they were soul mates, meant for each other, Michael and Michelle. Of course I was happy for him, as a younger brother, it was only right to support him and I would have done so anyway. 13

They stared straight at each other, disregarding everyone else around them, silent. It was as if only the two of them existed then, only they mattered and the rest of us were unimportant. I did not want nii-san to disgrace himself in public so I went forward to drag him aside. He resisted me, standing his ground; he had always been stronger than me.
“Nii-san! Go somewhere else and talk her if you want, but not here! There’re too many people now.”
“Mmm…”
“Nii-san! NII-SAN! Snap out of it!” I nearly shouted, alarmed.
“Huh-what-where-when-why?” he answered in one breath, confused.
“I’ll go now,” whispered the girl as she walked towards Michael and leaned in to tell him. He looked at her, catching only a glimpse of her pretty smile.
Michael’s expression was one of surprise and disbelief. He turned swiftly to see her one more time, but she was gone. Looking at my brother, I finally understood what “love at first sight” meant. I could not look at this person, my brother, my twin, who was so in love he radiated love itself. Within minutes of meeting the love of his life, he already loved her, and maybe, she him.14

“Nii-san? Hey. HEY! Let’s go or we’ll be late,” I said, tugging at him.
“OK OK fine,” he grumbled, unhappy to leave.
He did not talk much for the rest of the day and there was a faraway look in his eyes, like he was seeing something we cannot. Nobody dared to speak to him; everyone knew of the encounter with the mysterious girl. Finally, he lifted his head from his book he was not reading at all, and said,
“What’s her name?”
It did not take a genius to figure out who he meant. There was a silence, a second too long, then someone spoke up.
“Michelle. Michelle Sylvia