The Thing About Norman

There is a land, well maybe not a 'land,' but a place... not entirely physical but is definitely there, somewhere, perhaps hidden in the depths of our imagination. For some, it’s not that far away for others, well, maybe you should just listen.1

The story I am about to tell you may seem a little silly of perhaps impossible, but unless you can prove that it did not, in  fact, happen, which you can’t, I would think that one would take it upon themselves to keep their shrewd comments to themselves.2

Alright, well, in this land that is not a land, but a place not entirely physical but exits anyways lives Norman. Norman is… well, I hate to say out loud so put your ear really close to the page and I’ll whisper is so quietly that nobody, especially Norman can hear because he hates being called it, hates what it has become but it is the only word that can correctly portray exactly what Norman is so, okay, he’s a … fairy. I know, I know, you’re thinking little guy in tights with wings right? Well, I’ll tell you different. Norman doesn’t have, well okay, he has wings but he doesn’t wear tights. Nope. Norman hates tights. He was in his rebellious stage, at least he was at the time that this story took place. Which was only last week. He’s goes through a lot of stages. Anyways, no he didn’t wear tights. Instead he had fashioned himself with a long cloak dyed with blackberry juice to turn it black although it didn’t quite work out the way he had hoped. It kind of turned it more of a light purple… almost pink… but the color of his cloak isn’t what really matters, what really matters is that Norman had cool hair. I mean that's the only way I can describe that naturally enhanced lock of curly blonde hair and I mean CURLY. If he grew it out I bet it could stand on end through a windstorm I’ll tell you what. Anyways, enough about his fashion… or lack there of.3

To begin this story one really important thing you need to know is that Norman loves Orange Muddleberry pie. I mean he LOVES Orange Muddleberry Pie. He loves it more than… more than… swimming in Twistdiggery Falls. And boy oh, boy is that fun! So anyways, because he loves Orange Muddleberry Pie so much is what makes this story a story worth telling. You see, if he didn’t love it so much then he probably wouldn’t have done that thing with the…wait a minute I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s start at the beginning. 4

Norman lives on the south side of Turn Duddley Grove, just around the bend, after the big tree with the crook, you know the one, I’m sure you’ve played there when you were little…no? Well, anyway that’s where he lives. His house consists of a discarded gum wrapper and wait…no, that’s it. Never the less, it was no at his house that this story took place, it was several groves down and two to the side. Mr. J. Leafo’s place it was. He has a two-story bungalow apartment with adjoining…never mind. Let’s just say it was a rockin’ pad alright? 5

So J. Leafo invited me and the guys, (Norman and this little mole of a creature named Curfliffin. (he’s a…well I guess he’s a mole. So… yeah.)) over for drinks. Well, we were all sitting around the table, which really isn’t a table at all it’s more of a… well you know that thing at the ends of shoelaces? That whatchamecallit? Yeah, that’s it. It’s like that. Anyways we were all sitting around it telling jokes and Norman, well, he’s got this really good one to tell so he starts telling it, but he’s eating Orange Muddleberry Pie and if you know Orange Muddleberry Pie, and I know you do, you know it’s by far too sticky to be able to eat and talk at the same time. 6

But you know Norman, or at least you should by now, and he’s so determined to tell that joke that he tries to despite the fact that he’s eating this massive Muddleberry Pie and the joke’s so funny he’s already laughing at it and eat and trying to tell it at the same time and he’s go Muddleberry juice running down his chin because he can’t close his mouth and he’s snorting because he’s laughing so much with tears streaming down his face because it’s so funny! So here’s the rest of us with our sides splitting from laughing so hard we’ve got tears streaming down our faces too! Oh, man, it was hilarious because here’s poor little Tom; so determined to tell this joke that he declares is so amazingly funny… I mean, I don’t think he even got to the punch line all night but man… whew. The whole thing was as funny as hell.7