People Talking At My Funeral

"Oh, he was a great kid ... a tremendous pity."1

"He's dead?!"2

 "Oh no, I can't believe he's gone ... I'll miss his sparkling personality."3

"Bastard! He was meant to fix the porch - now who'll do it?"4

"Sad, very sad."5

"Alright, mate, here's our chance. Women get so horny at funerals."6

"He. Owed. Me. Money."7

"Cripes ... a great loss ... anyone know what the will says yet?"8

"Oh, his kid's gonna hate him."9

"What a way to go ... choked on a marshmallow. I mean, if he died surfing a fifty-foot wave, or hunting a 'gator - now that would be awesome."10

"What are we doing here again?"11

"Oh, lookit, is that mahogany? Nice, very spiffy."12

"Do you think he left me some green?"13

"I want his dog."14

"I want his wife."15

"You people are so heartless ...."16

"Whatever. 'Least the food's free." 17

 18

Author notes

I just hope this isn't what really happens when I kick the bucket, or some people are gonna get their asses haunted. For life.

STOP SIGNS SHOULD BE GREEN.

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Comments

1 - 26 of 26

  • Dual.Of.Fireflies
    April 11
    Edit | Reply

    Um...

    LOL!

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • strawberry fantasy
    March 12
    Edit | Reply

    strawberry fastasy

    very funny! gooooood job!


  • Be.Your.Own.Hero
    March 6
    Edit | Reply
    ...

    LMAO xD

    This is sooo funny, love it!

    ~*Princess*~

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • Yosai
    January 27

    Edit | Reply

    ha ha ha

    Love it, simple but very funny.
    My favourite line was:
    "Alright, mate, here's our chance. Women get so horny at funerals."

  • Susan John Francis
    January 13
    Edit | Reply
    Love it.....


  • Lady Eventide Greeters member
    January 12

    Edit | Reply
    I hope that this doesn't happen at my funeral, either..or anyone's, for that matter. It is quite humorous though, so brownie points for that. What a way to die. Well done indeed. I enjoyed it tremendously.


  • scriptor
    January 11

    Edit | Reply

    lol

    this IS funny. I got confused though cuz i wasnt sure if it was the same person talking a different points or multiple people. Anyway... winking tha hook. glad i did tho cuz this is good.


  • sodancewithsoda silver member
    January 11

    Edit | Reply

    *claps*

    During funerals, I'm not sure if some people really just like showing their stupidity or that they are just insensitive enough. THANK YOU for your funny take on this. I, too, hope these won't be said during your funeral.. or mine, for that matter

    The horny part had me squelching a laugh, haha plus a few other lines.

    Now be careful eating marshmallows, aye?

    Again, many thanks for this ^_^


  • DoozerDan silver member
    January 9

    Edit | Reply
    *snickers*

    High-larious stuff RJ. I have to admit, my favourite line was the same as Val's: "Alright, mate, here's our chance. Women get so horny at funerals."

    xD


  • DemApples
    January 3
    Edit | Reply
    lol haunt them all


  • Valkyrie silver member
    December 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

    *gets up off floor*

    omg, that was hilarious! My fave: "Alright, mate, here's our chance. Women get so horny at funerals."

    ow my sides hurt...


    • RxxSpiritWolfxxJ
      December 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Haha .. thanks for the comments and clappymen.
      *pops a marshmallow cautiously*


  • MarukoTheCrazyKitty
    December 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    XD Choked on a marshmellow, nice. XD But you forgot to put in a squirrel, a cat, a unicorn, or a flying chicken-poodle....

    -Maru Maru


  • Host
    December 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    That's funny i can picture it. Not that nice but at least some one cared . Paragraph 16. I liked it nice!


  • Dreams of Insanity
    December 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    ....
    AHAHAHAHHAHA!
    Well if I atteneded your funeral I would say nice things, Randy! xD


  • Queenie-Chan
    December 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    lol crazy cool

    lol this was so funny i almost died from laughing lol good job n_n


  • LittleMissChrissie
    December 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I'd say, "Hey Mum, is it time to go yet?"

    Kidding. I'd be sad. But choking on a marshmallow... it's a little tragic, innit? It's like dying at a Pizza Hut.

    Hahaha.

    C


  • Just Breathe.
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Lol, that's pretty funny. Although, that would be sad if people said that about you. Nice job.


  • ice wolf Greeters member
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    you know me and Sera'll beat the crap out of anyone that says anything out of place. you're my cuz. can't let people be mean to my cuzzie.


  • Rorshach gold member
    December 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    interesting thoughts

    I would think that most people at a funeral are thinking things like "I wonder what's for dinner tonight"
    "Man she looks hot"
    "This is sooo boring"
    "I hope i don't sneeze, not now, not now ATTCHHOO"
    Whoever is in the box is probably the furthest things from their minds


  • Someday Hero. gold member
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Haha, Yup! That sounds like Maggie alright. Choked on a marshmellow.

    "Alright, mate, here's our chance. Women get so horny at funerals."

    Tch THAT sounds like all men..Except you Maggie!

    -Alex


  • ADORExo
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hahaha, I loved this! It the title of it caught my attention instantly. It is weird to think of what people will think at your funeral. There are some shady people, and once your gone, their true colors come out. I liked the fact you put humor in this, and didn't leave it all sad and moapy. Great job! Goodluck in the contest!
    PS: If people do talk like this at your funeral, you better haunt them, unless you deserve it <3


  • Windsong1041
    December 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    ha hahaha

    That's great :-D


  • Tiger-Lily
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    LMFAO!

    Whoa....man, I loved this!!! Had me cracking up like crazy. Esp. the mahogany comment. XDD

    Hm, somehow this sort of seems like something you'd do. Die off a marshmallow

    xx HT xx

    PS: FIRST COMMENT!!

1 - 26 of 26