She prayed for double digits
saw the train move away
made plans for a run away, escape
then her parents told her to stay1
It was a dream that was alive
it was so vivid in her mind
when she awoke that very night
she felt the heartache like a knife2
Turning over, she once said
without him by her side, he had left
to the tears that weren’t to fall
could the dream have changed it all?3
Seconds later he returned
from the pain her heart had churned
he held her in his arms that night
never really left her side4
So she closed her eyes to sleep
from a nightmare marked to deep
will she ever sleep tonight?
hiding from the ones who she cannot fight5
Author notes
Honestly.
I just randomly wrote this.
So its sort of based on some figments of my dreams that I have been having.
Ones I should be writing down and taking notes from.
So yeah--eh--eh--eh !!!
Blair 
FREE with every comment.
Honesty would be bliss =]
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Honesty comin' at ya
I basically liked it sinced it tied together dream and reality and the pull of emotions that are unsure what life demands of them.
As always I am a structure freak so am a little critical of some aspects but an overall good piece.
beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
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This was very well written, buddy. I think your flow, meaning and the way you just wrote the poem/story that is this piece of writing was just plain outstanding. I enjoyed it so much and will read a few more of your stories and poems to start tomorrow, since I am not going to be online that much longer tonight.
I loved this and all of your works always have me going... whether it's a good kind of going or a bad--and you might know what I mean by with that, wink wink--I love all of your stuff. Keep on doing what you do and you'll one day be famous... jsut try with all of your might and never stop and then you'll win the fight.
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ROFLMFAO!!!
OMG!!! Great rhyme! Hilarious too! I laughed the whole time!!! XD
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Always the rhymes get me ...
A good, if unusual piece -- sounds me like you do a good job writing randomly ...
RJ
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this is really cool. Powerful and moving. The cadence and flow is a little meh but it's still cool.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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it was good
brilliant story blair i really enjoyed it sorry i mean peom -.- i get confuzzled xD keep it up.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Automatic writing is fun.....
it either stands fully alone or it fails. Seldom can it be edited.
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well, an interesting intro got me here lol
This is pretty good for something that was just wrote randomly. I know how you feel though, sometimes I've had horrible dreams that were so vivid (including my partner), that when I've woken up I've just laid there and hugged him for ages.
As usual, a great piece of writing-I wish I could write such great stuff as often as you but I seem to constantly have recurring writer's block!
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Well done.
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The little intro you can put on your posts drew me to this, I was a little let down when it didn't carry on inside the link.
I must admit it would have been a little more interesting then this.
But this was good in a sense. It's like, to me, that you have words you want to put down but ryhiming them is proving to be difficult. I could be wrong but that is just what I think.
Makes some sense, you get the hint she is dreaming while sleeping beside her lover, dreaming of something she really wants while fearing the loss of her lover at the same time of wanting that thing.
Keep it up.
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beautifully written Blair.
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