The Soldier's Quest: A Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, there was a man named Anthony. Anthony was the bravest, most handsome fighter in the King's army, and many of the other soldiers envied him. One day, the king called upon him to complete an important mission, one that required not only strength, but dedication and will. Anthony was intrigued and honored to be called upon by the king, and vowed to complete the mission, no matter what it would take...For the king asked him to travel to a distant, faraway land, where many evil and mystical creatures thrived. Anthony was on a mission to aquire a treasured and valuable possession of the king's; his only daughter, who had been tucked away deep in the mountains with two magical pixies, who had been keeping her safe during the Holy wars (which the King's army had won thanks to Anthony). 1

So Anthony began his important journey, prepared to do whatever it took, even fight to the death, to bring the princess home to her father. The first few days went by without incident, Anthony traveled at as fast of a pace as he could during the daylight, and at night he would roast rodents over a fire and sleep under the moonlight. On the fifth day, however, Anthony came upon his first obstacle...a small army of fire wielding goblins. 2

At first, Anthony was alarmed by the number of goblins....but once he realized that they were more scared of his giant muscles and strong jaw than he was of them...he yelled "BOO!" and they all scattered. Once again he was on his journey. His second obstacle involved an aged wizard, who demanded a password in exchange for safe passage through the dark forest. Anthony was stumped as to the password, and he quickly needed to figure out what to do. He tried yelling Boo, but it didn't work on the wizard. Then he suddenly had an idea. With a loud WHOOP, he quickly withdrew his sword and jumped toward the wizard. With a high pitched squeal and the loss of control of his bladder, the wizard stammered an apology and led Anthony safely through the forest. 3

Unfortunately, it was now two weeks into his journey, and he was becoming malnourished. His energy was waning and he was finding himself moving slower during the day. He knew he was close, but he didn't know if he was going to make it. His third and final mission came as a shock to him, and he felt impending doom due to his condition. Before him was a huge, firebreathing dragon, devouring anything in sight. Shaking, he withdrew his sword from his sheath, pointing it toward the creature. The dragon snorted in his direction, knocking him down with one swoop of a giant talon. The dragon laughed down at him, swooping down to devour him entirely. Bleeding and dizzy, Anthony closed his eyes and blindly thrust his sword into the air. It seemed to happen in slow motion, and Anthony's condition made it worse. One minute, the dragon was swooping down on him...the next minute, Anthony's sword was impaling the creature's heart, causing the creature to squeal in a most awful manner. Anthony yanked the sword out of the creature, and watched it fall to the ground. As he chuckled through the rain that had began to fall, he lost his grasp on consciousness.4

When he awoke from his dark and painful slumber, he had no clue where he was. He was surrounded by plush comforts, and all his wounds were bandaged. As he sat up and looked around the room, he heard voices coming from outside the door. Clad in only his undergarments, he limped to the door and opened it, bracing himself for what may be on the other side. He drew in a sharp breath. In front of him was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Wearing a beautiful, satin, form-fitting gown, the gorgeous blue eyed woman turned her head toward him, flipping her waist-long blonde hair out of the way. She smiled at him, causing him to lose words. She insisted that he return to bed, and await his recovery before he do anything strenuous.5

Another week passed, and Anthony healed completely. He thanked the pixies for taking care of the princess, and asked them for the use of one of their beautiful horses. He made the journey back to the kingdom in a few days, falling in love with the beautiful princess the whole way. Her hair shined in the sunlight and her laugh infected his soul. When they arrived at the palace, Anthony watched the princess run to her father, puffing his chest with pride. Teary-eyed, the king thanked Anthony for his galiant rescue of the princess, and not only appointed him head of the army, but also made him a royal knight. Anthony graciously accepted this, and turned to the princess, kissed her hand, bowed, and turned to make his leave. Suddenly, the princess was calling his name, and running toward him. She grabbed his hand, and turned to her father, expressing her wishes to make the knight her husband. Without a second of hesitation, the king approved such a union, and the princess was thrilled to be united with such a handsome a brave knight.6

Within a few days, the pair were married, and began a beautiful, long-lasting relationship. While the princess was sometimes upset at Anthony's leaving to fight, he would always return to her, bringing her a rare trophy of his victory every time. This continued for years, until the king was on his deathbed. Expressing his love for Anthony, he gave his blessing for Anthony to be the next ruler of the kingdom. Anthony vowed to continue the good rule of the king, and kissed the king on the forehead as he drifted away. Anthony became the new king, and lived happily ever after with his beautiful queen.