*This is a book I invented that can be customized to include your child's name and character gender. I used my child-to-be's name, Lily.*1
There once lived a girl named Princess Lily. Princess Lily lived in a pink castle that was quite pretty. The walls were pink, her bed was pink and and what color was her crown, you think? Gold of course, with little pink jewels that shined very bright. Princess Lily loved pink alright.2
Princess Lily loved to play outside all the time. She played on her pink swings and her little pink slide. She played in her pink sandbox and her pink inflatable pool. Queen Mommy brought her a pink backpack and said she would be going to school.3
Princess Lily grew nervous, to school she had never been. Queen Mommy just smiled and said, "You'll make lots of friends!" 4
So, the very next day, off to school she went, quite sadly. Princess Lily got to class, but missed Queen Mommy very badly. She laid her head on her desk and a tear slid down her cheek. Until a tap on her shoulder made Princess Lily turn and peek.5
A little girl, stood there, about her age. The little girl asked Princess Lily if she would like to play. Princess Lily said, "Yes!," wiping away her tears. Before she knew it, Queen Mommy appeared. Princess Lily grew sad once again for it was time to leave. Princess Lily ran over to Queen Mommy and tugged on her sleeve.6
Princess Lily asked if the little girl could come too. Queen Mommy said yes and Princess Lily went to tell her the great news. Princess Lily and the little girl played until the moon shone bright. Then, the little girl had to say goodnight. Queen Mommy told Princess Lily it was time for bed. To bed she went without another word said. Princess could hardly wait until the next day of school. She dreamed of the little girl and all the playing they would do!7
Goodnight, Princess Lily, here's a kiss and one big hug for you!
A contest entry
- B is for Bedtime by tonialoise.
700 points, ended January 4, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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haha thats good
well done -
this is great hon. I could so see my daughter in this story since she already thinks she is a princess.
Congrats on your addition.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Sweet little children's story.
p2 you have a double "and"
hehe... I do like that you got us thinking you'd say it was a pink crown!
I think the word "pink" was overused a bit, even from a kid's point of view they might be thinking "ok I get it everything's pink" by the time you got to the sandbox.
So most of that sentence could probably be removed so you can move onto the school.
just out of curiosity if this was customized for a boy would everything be blue?
A little more of her day in school maybe showing her drawing letters with her new friend and playing games I think would make that portion not seem so rushed as you only have half a paragraph devoted to the whole transformation process. Plus it would be a good lesson for little kids that school can be fun if they see the fun activities there
Besides all that this is a cute little story just the sort of thing I'm looking for! Thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!
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