Just a Friendly Conversation

“It’s pretty damn cold out here, PDC!” Jax said, shoving his hands into his coat pockets as we walked to my car.1

I sighed and said, “Jax, why? Why do you continue to turn everything you say into an abbreviation?”2

He scoffed as if the explanation was obvious, “It’s my thing!”3

I couldn’t help but laugh, “But you’re not making any sense. I don’t even think you understand what you’re saying. Frankly, it’s really immature.”4

He rolled his eyes as we got into the car and mumble, “Whatever.”5

I started the car and blasted the heat as I pulled the old beat-up car out of the school parking lot and onto the road.6

“You’re never going to get a girlfriend talking like that, you know,” I said, getting serious. He was really an amazing guy, but he refused to stop acting like he was in sixth grade. It took a lot of work to have an actual conversation with him, but I had mastered the art of chipping away at that silly, little façade of his. I knew that he would make some girl really happy, if only it didn’t take so much prodding to get a decent, unabbreviated sentence from him. The only reason I bothered was because we had so much in common, and he was unbelievably intelligent and hilarious once he dropped the act. 7

I took my eyes off the road as I came to a stop light and turned to look at him. “Why do you do that, huh? You hide that incredible personality of yours for no reason.”8

He sighed, giving in unusually quick. I guessed it was because we had had this conversation a few times before. “I don’t know, Jaime. I just can’t let my guard down.”9

“But…,” I started to say before the person in the car behind me honked his horn at me. I looked up to see that the light had turned green and I hurried to turn into Jax’s neighborhood before I became a victim of road rage.10

“What a jerk!” Jax said a disgruntled look on his face.11

“Yea,” I replied, “that was ridiculous.”12

“Like I was saying,” I said, jumping right back into the conversation, “I think you do know why you put that wall up. It’s simply because you’re afraid no one will ‘get’ you. You’re afraid of being rejected, right?” I could see him nodding out of the corner of my eye. I thought carefully about my response. “Well, I can’t say you’re being silly because everyone feels that way sometimes. You just can’t let your insecurities paralyze you.”13

As I pulled into his drive-way and parked the car, he rolled his eyes and said, “You don’t understand. How could you? You get along great with every single person you meet."14

“What,” I said, turning to face him fully, “No way.”15

“Uh, yea,” he said, “the fact that we’re even friends is proof of that alone. You’re one of the few people I actually talk to, and I don’t even know how you do it.”16

I really couldn’t say much to that, so I moved the subject back to him. “Look, I’m only trying to make you see what a great guy you are.”17

“If that’s so then why don’t you date me?” he said looking me in the eyes.18

Judging by his response, I guess I should have kept the focus on me. I could feel my eyes widening and my throat felt dry.19

“Whoa, Jax, you don’t like me like that and you know it.” I silently hoped this was true. I truly cared about Jax but I could never think of him in that way. I mean, I could but that would feel wrong. I thought he felt the same way.20

He sighed, pulling off his old knitted hat and revealing his messy black hair. “I know, but why can’t I have some kind of chemistry with the only girl who ever actually talks to me? How is it possible that two people who have so much in common just happen to not be attracted to each other? I don’t understand. I honestly think that you’re beautiful, inside and out and I keep waiting for romantic feelings to just pop up out of nowhere but they won’t come. They won’t come!” He was starting to get a wild look about him.21

“We were brother and sister in a past life?” I said, scrounging for some explanation to ease his mind. “Only opposites attract?” his facial features remained unchanged and I knew I wasn’t helping.22

I gave up on that route and tried a different approach. “You know, it's not impossible for a guy and a girl to be just friends."23

He seemed a little skeptical at first but what could he say? The conversation we were having was proof.24

“I guess you’re right,” he said, a little smile forming on his lips, “after all, you were proving that before you even knew me. You and Gabe have been platonic friends for years.”25

“Yea…,” I said, returning his smile feebly and turning in me seat to avoid eye contact. What he didn’t know was that Gabe had been sleeping in my room at least twice a month since the summer after he moved here and that lately I had been having a little less than platonic thoughts of him.26