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“Why, mommy? Mommy, why do people die?” asked Chrisidee standing on her toes to look into her mother’s face.2
There was no reply.3
“Mommy, will I die?” insisted the little girl, nervously playing with her tight blond curls.4
Again, there came no answer.5
“Mommy, I like sunny days on the playground and Judy and her puppies, my dolls and flowers. I don’t want to die.”6
Chrisidee’s mom remained still.7
“Mommy, I think dead is cold and dark and lonely. I’d miss my friends. I don’t want to go away. I love you and daddy. I don’t want to be dead. Do I have to die? Does everyone have to die? Why Mommy?8
Still her questions remained unanswered.9
“Mommy, I want forever. I don’t want to go to heaven. I don’t want a better place. I don’t want to go away, I don’t want you to go away. I don’t want to go anywhere!”10
A gentle hand touched Chrisidee’s shoulder and tenderly tugged backwards. Chrisidee craned her neck to look way up at the very tall man with blood shot eyes. He looked down at her porcelain doll face with big sky-blue eyes growing ever rounder and a little mouth falling open as the tiny girl took in all of the sad flowers and the sullen figures dressed in black. “C’mon Chrisidee, we need to go now,” said her father as he gently but firmly took her hand and guided her away from the coffin.11
“Wake up, Mommy! Mommy wake up!” Cried the child back over her shoulder, tugging against her daddy's pull, with hot tears scorching her cheeks and staining her new dress.12
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Wonderful
WoW I dont know what to say. Its so beautiful yet so sad. Well written story. Very surprising ending though, I never once thought the mom was dead til I got to the end. Very nice writing. -
This is very good. unlike everyone above, I almost knew that the mother was dead. I did not, however, expect it to be at a funeral. I pictured the mother sitting in a chair in a dark bedroom. it painted a beautifly morbid picture. I hate to be another anonymous face in the crowd, but I loved it.
-Jonneh -
How sad! Reminds me of so many things ... funerals of mothers passing away with a child so young .. to when I was young and cried to my own mother about the inescapable truth of death. We unfortunatly cannot hide from it .. just enjoy life to its fullest until it comes knocking at your door.
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This is wonderfully well written. I like everyone above did not expect the mother to be in her coffin. I only thought that the mother didn't know how to answer the questions about death; most of us don't. I think that you did a great job writing this one, and I am sure that I will be back again to read more.
Deke -
omg this is so sad! i thought the mom might be in a hospital bed or something but coffin! that is so sad! keep writing
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Brilliance TRUE GOLD I love you heart and sou
~Rj my beloved friend who i am neglecting~This is a stunning powerful write, and you did leave me in a twist. For I also assumed that the little blonde hair blue eyed child was in the kitchen talking to her Mommy. You left me speechless, and indeed this is powerful write with your timeless wisdom and foresight. This happens all to often if you look around. Just knowing you as i do, i send you a thousand kisses deep. Bravo for another masterpiece of your heart and soul. I for one appreciate all you say and do, and once again thank you for being you. And giving us all a wake up call. For love is our only need above all. And you never know when the one you love may be taken away. This is the reason why we must all love today in the moment. The sadness and pain and grief of a young girl losing her mother is perhaps one of the greatest sorrows a child can endure. "Love is letting go of fear" Dr. Gerald Jampolsky. I had the pleasure to work with this man who was in “The Course In Miracles” at Duke University.~Namaste Blessed Be, Sharron~ www.newagecities.com/neighborhoods/mindworks/content/Attitudinal_Healing.asp
Edited on May 18, 6:56 p.m. because ''. -
Good job!
Wonderfully written. This was really sad. I was thinking the mother was doing motherly things while the small child was asking her questions. The ending was a twist and had so much emotion in it. Good job!!!!!!!!!!! -
wpw great piece the end was very unexpected because you expected the childs mother to be just not answering her.This rly shows how innocent the young child is and got the message across very well but not in a very vuglar harsh way.
Well done -
WOW...Um I am awestruck! This is REALLY REALLY REALLY SAD!!
At first you think that she is just wanting to know about death and her mom doesn't want to talk about it, but then you realize what happens in the end and it is SOooo Sad! This is a good piece of work and I enjoyed reading it and it brings a lot of emotion into it! Good Job and God Bless you *~Amber~*
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I will stop back tomorrow, as this write definitely needs an applause. The ending caught me off guard.This is only MY opinion, but I feel it is wrong and scary for a very young child to see a parent in a coffin. They have no way to comprehend what has really happened. It leaves a scar on that child for life. The child in this write does not understand that her mother is dead. This is one of the best written stories about this subject that I have ever read. You are very talented. Linda
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Ahh this is so sad I almost cried! Very beautiful and terribly sad!
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buhhuuuu, huuuuhhuuu, So sad!!!
its very well written, i could not keep my eyes away from the text..I like the turning out of the story too... -
A moving little story Rj - you did well to get so much emotion into such a short piece.
I'm 57 and I still haven't got over my father's death when I was 15, so can empathise.
Well done.
Robin. -
Awwwwwwww this is so sad!! I love the way the poem seems to start somewhere and then all of a sudden, the reader realises it's somewhere else! I actually imagined a whole different scenario of a little girl in the kitchen with her mother, cooking. But then again, that's just me! Anyway, that really was a beautiful write, well done!
I just hope this isn't a true story...
God bless you loads and loads,
Nat -
The end caught me by surprise! I really thought the girl was asking those questions while her mother stood in the kitchen or some other place, but not lieing in a coffin.
Children can't really understand death, and it's always hard to explain them why people die.
This is sad, but so very well written, it does contain hard emotions and it's vivid enough to make the readers feel sad.
Well done!
Kisses,
GG
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They say ignorance is bliss. But innocents can sure hurt. This is so sad. A child cannot grasp the concept of death. But really adults can't either. I remember telling my children once when they couldn't wait to be grown up. Things don;t become less scary. They are so many in number, you just don't know where to run. This was a touching write, to be sure.~~~Suseann
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Oh my Lord this is sad. I started crying. Beautiful write, fulling showing the child's innocence and naivety to life. Keep up the wonderful work.
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