Minnie

1

Are you there, God?2

Well, whether you are or not, it's me. Yes, I know you're disappointed. I'm not the perfect little angel you were expecting. I don't pray every Sunday or even every month and I most certainly don't everyday. But I thought I'd give it a try. It's a....special day.3

Today is August 12. In case you didn't know, it's 2:00 A.M. Do they have Daylight's Saving Time in Heaven? I couldn't sleep. Today was Minnie's funeral. I wore my butt ugly itchy dress, black of course, with the ruffles on the collar. I think you know the one. I expected everyone to laugh at me, but Minnie's mom just gave me one of those sad smiles and gave me a one armed hug. It was uncomfortable and awkward. At the ceremony, I stood next to Luke. He was silently crying and I noticed there was a rose in his suit pocket that looked like it had died atleast 1 year ago. My dad was on my other side. His cell phone rang during the ceremony, and I gave him a sharper than intended look. He looked around cautiously then picked up his phone and was talking cheerfully on the line about a football game while walking farther away and away. 4

After the ceremony, there was murmured talk and platters upon platters of food. I ate and ate until I thought I would keel over because my tummy was so heavy. Afterward, I just went back through the garden and sat on the peeling wooden bench that'd I'd sat with Minnie on so many summers. Last summer, it was a hot day and we were planning to go to the local pool. I was proud to death because I had on my brand new red bikini and Minnie was looking quite defeated with a faded green one piece from 2 years back. I remember that I was bragging, while she just listened on without a word, holding her dark hair back with one hand against the creamy white skin of her throat. 5

It's hard. I've never lost anyone before. I mean, why should've I? I'm not an adult yet. Why did you take her, God? Was it to punish me? Yes, I know I'm not a little angel. I don't pray and I don't smile at everyone I meet and I definetely am not perfect. I'm not Minnie, God.6

We'd sat next to each other on that peeling wooden bench, and I was bragging like I was the Queen of England and Minnie was quiet. And then, when I wasn't looking, she'd bent down and plucked a flower from the ground, and simply put it in my lap. And smiled. That dazzling smile of hers, with the slightly bent front tooth and full lips. It was a sunflower, I recall. A huge sun drenched sunflower that had opened up towards the sky and spread its bright petals to embrace everything. Everyone. It reminded me of someone.7

Minnie.