Harvey

I wish more than anything in life I was in that car that night. I SHOULD BE DEAD AT THIS VERY MOMENT! Don’t you understand that? I shouldn’t be here, talking to you. IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUISNESS IN THE FIRST PLACE! DON’T YOU GET IT? 1

Do you understand how it feels to loose someone? Not just have them die, no to REALLY loose them. They are there at one moment, than in the next minute they disappear?2

It was a few months ago, July if I remember right, but than again, I have been in here so darn long, I don’t know day from night. I had been drinking, with Harvey. I was almost certain we only had a couple beers, but I guess I was wrong. It was time to leave, and Harvey insisted that he drive home. I begged him not to, but he insisted that it was going to be just fine. And I was stupid enough to believe him. SO STUPID! He drove off as I waited for the cab to come pick me up, but before the cab got there. I heard the sirens blaring down the street. It was then that I knew something had happened, you could just feel it in the air. That was the last time I saw Harvey. 3

His funeral about a week after that. No one shed a tear, not even his own mother! His father didn’t even bother to show up. I knew it was my fault he was dead, so did everyone else. NO ONE CAN CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE! NOT EVEN YOU! I should have been in that car with him! I SHOULD BE DEAD! During the whole fulera; service I kept telling myself that, I SHOULD BE DEAD! No one understands the pain I was going through, no one will listen, so I made up my mind that there was only one thing to do…I had to go see Harvey. Harvey would understand, Harvey would listen.4

That night, when I got to my house, I went straight to the medicine drawer. There it was, exactly what I needed. I picked up the orange bottle and I read the label. “No more than 1 tablet every 6 hours” It was perfect. I popped one in my mouth, than another, than one more. I felt a little dizzy just than. It was weird, a good weird, I felt like I was going to float away, but gravity was the only thing holding me down. I NEEDED TO FLOAT AWAY TO HARVEY! SO I pot 3 more little red pills in my throat, I felt my self floating off. “Rachel!” I voice bellowed off in the distance. Harvey? Is that you? “What are you doing” It asked. “RACHEL” it screamed. 5

The next thing I remember was opening my eyes, expecting to see Harvey he wasn’t there, I WAS STILL ALIVE! Someone had taken me to the hospital after they found me lying on the floor, with the medicine bottle in my clammy hand. I could not believe it! All I wanted to do was go be with Harvey! 6

Now here I am, in this awful place. You say you want to help me. But I can see behind your eyes, you don’t care. No one does! Why is it any of your business any ways? It’s my life, shouldn’t I be able to take it anytime I want? I SHOULD BE DEAD ANYWAYS! You cant feel my pain. You would want to be dead too if you felt this way. 7

You…well you think I was crazy, you say you want to help me. But you know what? I don’t think you care a bit. And if anything, this place, this prison, is just driving me even more insane. I was just fine before I was dragged here. I swear, the walls, the people, everything about this place drives me crazy! Everything is white, the walls, the floors, the bed sheets. There are no windows, the creepy doctors, they are sucking every last bit of sanity I have left in my body out of me! Did you know they won’t even let me eat my food with a fork here? TOO SHARP, they say. What do they think I am?8

A Monster. Is that what you think I am? Some kind of FREAK?9

I just want to get out of here. NO ONE REALLY LISTENS ANYWAYS! No one is helping me!10

The doctors say that everything is going to be fine. That once I get out of here, life will be back to normal. It won’t be normal. Harvey will still be gone! AND THERE IS NOTHING ANYBODY CAN DO ABOUT THAT! You tell me “IT’S GOING TO BE FINE!” NO IT ISNT! Harvey was the last person to say that, and look what happened to him! DEAD! And he isn’t coming back! 11

Why are you even trying to make life better? It isn’t worth it! Life is just a big mixture of broken hearts and broken dreams! 12

Once I get out of here, once I am allowed to live as I please, I won’t be living at all. When I escape from this place, I am going to go see Harvey. I have to go see Harvey. 13

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • cole3313
    January 29
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    This was really sad. But it was very well written. I really liked it! Great job


  • Reaver Greeters member
    January 17

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    this is a really great, but sad, read. I didn’t really think it fit into the criteria of the contest. I was looking for a straight forward interview.

    There were a few grammar mistakes here and there, but I won’t harp cause the story was created wonderfully. The flow made it work.

    Great job and thank you for entering!
    Rian,

  • Writing0Freedom
    January 16

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    This is really well written. This is powerful and full of emotion. I'm sorry you had to go through this. It's hard to live when all you want to do is numb the pain but life is worth living if you can do good in the world. I'm at the age where alot of people drink because they think it's cool and thank god most can't drive yet but this story just confirms and cements what I already knew. Not to get in a car with someone drunk or let them drive at all. I will always remember the story if I get anywhere near that position. Just by writing this you have dine good for the world. Well done!
    Thanks for entering!
    Writingfree


  • XxRaindoshixX
    January 15
    Edit | Reply
    Before I judge this, I have to know what anime/manga this fanfiction is based from. Can you give me the title, so I can do a little research, first? I want to make sure this is a fair contest.


  • Just Breathe.
    January 14

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    I can feel this emotion running out of each sentence. This is very good. A very sad, but well written story. Great job and good luck in my contest!


  • Savage
    January 14

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    Wow, very heartfelt. There were a few mistakes, go through it carefully. Here's one, I forgot the rest.

    Do you understand how it feels to loose someone? Not just have them die, no to REALLY loose them. They are there at one moment, than in the next minute they disappear? paragraph 2.

    Do you understand how it feels to LOSE someone? Not just have them die, no to REALLY LOSE them. They're there one moment, then the next moment they disappear?

    Great job though.


  • trekkergirl
    January 7

    Edit | Reply
    Oh this is sooo sad a tale. Dear dear one. You are not ever to blame for someone elses mistake. Yeah you both had been drinking. And had you been more in your right mind perhaps you would not have let him drink and drive. But where were the others? Could they not have stopped him? Blame is getting you no where.


    usually I will say so sticky caps or all caps but I understood why you did the all caps in parts of this story it was to really put some emphasis on what you were saying. Great write here.

    Surivors guilt is such a terrible thing to feel. I hope you get past it and know that the only thing harvey would want is for you to live a long and happy life.



    thanks for sharing this and thanks for entering it into my contest.


  • Atticus Unanimous
    December 29, 2008

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    I cannot judge this piece since my only rule was to enter a piece with absolutely NO comments on it. I opened this contest on the 14th or so and some of these comments date back to the 9th.

  • Eloquia
    December 20, 2008
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    Wow! Very emotional subject to deal with in a short story: survivor's guilt. It can really tear a person's life apart, and you have done a great job of showing just a small portion of that in a short story that delves into the mind of someone in deep grief and guilt. I think it is really a good story!


  • Kevan gold member
    December 12, 2008
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    Hey,
    great story! There was so much emotion thrown in behind your words. I loved how you capitalized certain words to emphasize what you were trying to say. Sometimes it doesn't work, but you did a good job of it. Keep up the great work and the very best of luck to you in my contest.

    xoxox.
    Kevan.


  • Firestar-
    December 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I like alot!


  • Noisome.
    December 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Hi there.
    I appreciate your interest in my contest, but if you had read the first line of the description, you would have seen that I am no longer accepting entries. The contest only remains open so that people working on prompted pieces will be able to finish.
    If you hit me up with a message, I'd be glad to give this a read, but I can't count it in this contest.

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