There we were. The 5 of us. Standing at the top of the multi-story car park: looking down at the people below, going about their daily business. All of them oblivious. Oblivious to the fact that their lives were pointless. Meaningless. Fake…1
I looked down the line, looking at each tear-stained face. Fee, Dan, Josh, Rhys, and myself. Rhys stepped down from the ledge, and turned away, walking a few paces back. We all followed, knowing what was to come. We stood in a circle, holding hands, crying silently. 2
I was the first to produce my book, and lay it in the centre. I broke of from holding joshes and Fees hand, reaching into my inside pocket, and producing the little black book. The others did the same, and we laid them on the ground. 3
Each one contained our wishes. Our dreams. Our lives. Our faults, and our problems. And what we want done when we are gone.4
We all stood up again, crying harder. Fee was the first to go.5
“I cant take this tension anymore” she said softly, her dark eyes watery from tears. She hugged us all close. 6
She turned away, and stood on the ledge again, looking down.7
“I love you,” she said to us, not crying anymore. She smiled, the first true smile I had seen in ages. Then she jumped. 8
We could hear her cry as she fell, and the gasps and screams of the citizens below. We knew it wouldn’t be long until people were rushing up here. 9
I choked on my tears, fighting back the urge to break down on the floor. 10
Dan left my side, walking to the edge. He didn’t say anything. Words didn’t explain how he felt, but we all knew. We watched him looking down at the scene below, and then back at us. He smiled, and waved, tears falling from his face. He jumped. 11
I had to hold onto Rhys to keep myself from falling. Two of my best friends had left this earth already. Josh went next. 12
He just said “I’ll see you on the other side: I’ll be waiting” before he disappeared over the edge.13
I looking into Rhys eyes, and saw tears sparkling there. He helped me walk over to the edge, and up onto the ledge. I looked down at the scene. 3 bodies on the ground, and people crying, screaming, looking up at Rhys and myself. 14
He squeezed my hand, and looked towards the sky.15
“Now?” he said quietly”16
“Now” I agreed. We jumped. 17
Images flew through my head18
When my mum had yelled at me: when my dad grounded me: when I fell out with my friends: when I was at my lowest: when I carved “die” into my arm: Fee falling: Dan jumping: Josh not even saying goodbye…19
And then there was something different. On holiday with my family, and we were all laughing: in town when we were running away laughing: when I sat in my room thinking how lucky I was to have my friends: when Dan and me walked home: when fee and I made up: when josh and me kissed…. and it was all gone. I would never experience it again. And then I hit the ground.20
Author notes
this is about me and my friends when we all got really depressed. but yeah, have fun xxx
contest - i chose option 3 - the horrible ending 
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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this is really good, i can sense the emotion, only criticsm, is that i think it should be longer! thanks for entering hun, xxxxxdeadxxxxxx
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This is breath-takingly beautiful, even thought I have read it a few times before.
XxX -
Wow. That was new. I liked it alot. Try putting a story behind it into a different part because I am quite interested in these peoples lives. Wonderful job. If you put the lives of each character into story forms, you could make this into a book. A good one at that.
All The Best To You And Yours
LittleMoth -
Tears dropped from my face as I read this....I can really relate to this poem....the die thing really got to me because I have done the same thing......very deep poem.
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LOVE IT!!!
awesome job! -
awsome
WOW that was amamzing I liked it alot.. -
awsome
Omg i like this story so much you put alot of emtoin in it which makes the poem great to read!!! -
WOW
thats all i have to say, WOW
Cheers!
P.S. Free Flower!
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LOVEHINA: 1. i dont think you would have liked to commit suicide in my story
2. i like writing depressing things, not rainbows
3. just dont read them in future, cos all of my poems and stories about about this -
Wow
I know what you mean. Excellent work -
this is amazing,i love it. i felt emotion the whole way through. i like how at the end she realized that she could never have it again. sometimes it's too late for us to realize it.
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Amazin you outstanding this poem took my breath away
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hello, i think 1. i should hav bin in that story! nd it shuld not hav bin bout that stuf, shuld hav bin bout rainbow (nd not feee's kind) nd ponie nd fluffy rabbits and flowers! yep yep yep
i dnt like reading fings like that so i mite not do that agen, its v upsetting 2 fink that u do that, but hey, i cnt do nefin! -
I can't even put into words how this made me feel. The image of my best friends and I all commiting suicide together flashed through my mind while reading this. Beautifully written.
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hey great story. so vivid and deep. its so sad .but it is very well written. wonderful. i look forward to reading more of ur stuff u can read so of mine if u want i dont care well keep writing. see ya buh bye
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uummmmmmm:s.....
This is one of your best pieces...but at the same time one of your saddest and most moving
The idea of that...it was scawwi...But you really would see those moments at the end...Life may be shit sometimes(I swearded and I dont do that very much
) but just kill it in some horrible way and then forgive it and give it a koala hug I spose...It gives and it takes...I dont know why we are on tis earth, but we have all of eternity and only a short life...so pain is just an illusion I hope:s....THIS WAS STUNNING!!!!....but dont ever think of doing that..EVER..
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death is life's next adventure
xx fee xx -
powerful
This is beautiful, I just wish there would have been more to read in it I loved it, very powerful and realistic! Keep it up!
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never leave no matter how hard things get
love you xxxx -
wow mina... thats all i can say i was almost crying its so sad i promis u that if i go i will say goodbye. i know if oneof us go we will miss them so much really well done amazing
Xx Josh xX -
wow. cool. don't ever do it.
I know the feeling but remeber the last paragrapgh. And they wudnt be waiting on theother side.
XxX -
omg i am crying, i just imagined my best friends jumping and dying with me, i dont know wot to say im speeachless, but honestly crying thank you, you know how much i have been wanting to cry lately this was perfect, i dont want any of u to go, to leave me, its so powerfull
i love josh
i love dan
i love fee
and i love you
-XxoxX- -
nice write
Very..well...great! im speachless also as losthopes has pointed out. i did cry a bit throughout this piece but that's what great writing is all about. great job
xoxo
laura -
oh my god. im speachless. that was.....sad...amazing...and just...oh my god so so sad. i was getting full of tears at about half way through...and at the end i just couldnt hold back.i think its fantastic...because not only have u written something so terribly sad, i think the end will help alot of people when they are in the same sort of situations. well done this was awsome. x x x
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oh my gods i was crying. this is one of the saddest stories i have ever read in my life. this is going on my bookmarks. gods this makes my chest hurt. i've been there and experienced that. but i don't want to die because i finally have someone to help me through it all.
~Alex -
this is brilliant, good visualisation, very meaningful....
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I dont even know you, but this honestly made me cry :'(. There's the regret at the end that shows that everyone has happy memories, even if you cant find them, they're always there. Suicide is the last choice. If you commit it. It all just ends. No more sadness, but also, no more happiness, no more friends. Who knows whats on the other side...
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min, please never go, this actually made me cry. i love u guys. such great writing
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amazing!
holy shit mina. this story is amazing!! it's so powerful and i literally had tears in my eyes!! just-damn hun! wonderul piece and keep up the great work!!!
Love always,
Arachne
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