Forever yours: part 19

Victor watched with wide eyes as Dr. Levitt filled up and injection and started getting closer to the IV bottle attached to his hands. “What are you doing?” Victor asked hoarsely.1

“It’s just a simple drip morphine injection. It might take a while for it to start taking effect.” Dr. Levitt said in a monotone.2

“I don’t understand. Why are you giving me morphine?” Victor asked in confusion. He had heard Morphine was given to cancer patients for pain. He didn’t feel much pain though. Just a feeling of constant numbness and dizziness was all he felt.3

“Well, you see there’s nothing wrong with giving Morphine to you at this stage of your cancer. Indeed, it’s quite expected.” Dr. Levitt said softly. 4

“But what?” Victor asked suspiciously looking at the drip that was slowly injecting morphine into his veins. 5

“But Dr. Reiner never even considered giving you Morphine because the injection Tyler Demyan made for you is actually a pain killer and antidepressant as well. Now you know as well as me that Demyan is a clever boy. He formulated the pain killer in such a way that it acts like a time bomb sitting with your blood cells. When the new cord blood is given to you it would break down these cells and assist in the bone marrow acceptance by multiplying the healthy cells in your body while alternatively playing its part in reducing your pain. In his instructions he specifically asked against giving you Morphine or any opioid.” Dr. Levitt looked at him as if he expected him to make the connection.6

Victor knew it was something bad, if Ty thought he shouldn’t be given any Morphine. Another doctor was strapping some binds on his hand that he could not move. At his confused look, Dr. Levitt rolled his eyes and muttered “I really hate explaining medicine to people who wouldn’t know the difference between a liver and a heart.”7

In an exasperated voice he said “In medicine we are taught that morphine is lethal if used with any other pain killers or anti-depressants. It could induce a coma, cause breathing problems and given your weak condition even cause death though that’s not what we want. We are sorry it had to come to this.”8

“What would you get by killing me? My grandmother would sue your ass and your god damn FBI if anything happens to me.” Victor said trying to stay calm.9

“For that same reason killing you is not our intention. Getting Tyler is.” Dr. Levitt said curtly. Some doctors beside him were trying to put an oxygen mask on his face. They strapped it tightly on his face, covering his nose and mouth. Victor tried screaming but his mouth and throat were too dry. He tried struggling with the bonds but it did nothing but bruise his wrists.10

“That mask is for your good, believe me. When the morphine kicks in fifteen to twenty minutes later, you would need oxygen. Your lungs aren’t exactly your strength these days.” Dr. Levitt said emotionlessly before leaving the room with the rest of his team in green scrubs.11

For the next fifteen minutes Victor tried in vain to rip off the bonds. Each second made him feel weaker. He could see the way his nerves were standing out on his pale skin and despite the cold he was both sweating and feverish. Like Dr. Levitt said he found he needed to breathe very deeply. Struggling was only making the breathing process harder. His lungs seemed to be on fire every time he took a ragged deep breath. He stopped fighting and concentrated on keeping his eyes open. The room was spinning before him. How much time had passed already? He wondered. 12

Was he going to die like this? Panic took root. He didn’t want to die. Yet, he was finding that even keeping his eyes open was taking inhuman strength. He thought of Ty and his baby. He hadn’t even apologized to Ty for what he did to him. He wanted to see them one last time. I don’t want to die like this, his mind was screaming as his eyes started feeling too heavy to keep open. Desperately he kept it wide open assuming closing his eyes would mean closing it for the last time.13

He noticed something green enter his room from the kaleidoscope he was seeing in front of his eyes. He tried to focus on it and someone peered into his face. Jason. All the tension, pain and regret came undone as he started crying. He was not going to die. Jason was there to save him.14

Jason pulled off his mask and removed the straps and the needle attached to the crook of his forearm. Removing the mask made breathing extremely difficult. He was gasping for air but he wanted to get out of there. “Jason, thank god. Get me out of here.” He wheezed with great difficulty hugging him as if he was his life support.15

He felt Jason give him an injection and he winced. Victor laid his head on Jason’s shoulder as the world started turning gray in front of his eyes. “Please.” He said faintly unable to complete the sentence. Take me out of here, his mind was screaming and he tried to move his mouth to form the words. He didn’t understand why Jason was delaying taking him out. It was then that he felt Jason kissing his neck and hair.16

Confusion settled in. Jason pulled his head back and started kissing his throat. Victor tried to understand what was happening. Jason looked at his face as he said “You are so beautiful.”17

Victor heard that like echoes. Surely, he was seeing and hearing things. “Jas. Lego.” He put his remaining strength into saying those words in a whisper.18

He felt Jason press his lips against his open mouth that was gasping for breath and push his tongue deep inside his mouth. Victor was phasing in and out of consciousness his world going black at times. His lungs burned. He needed air. He felt Jason’s hands all over him as he ripped off the hospital gown he was wearing and started groping him. No. This is not happening, Victor thought as he tried fighting. His attempts at struggling were completely ineffectual. Whatever Jason had injected into him was making his heart beat so fast. He felt like he was burning and his whole body was pulsing. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion.19

When Jason let go of his mouth Victor started gagging. Why was Jason doing this? He knew his eyes asked the question.20

Jason grinned at him, his eyes looking crazed. “I’ve wanted you so long Victor. But you were too strong, too proud and rich for the likes of me. I know what you are thinking. I am not gay. Well, honestly I don’t think I am. I just want you. But you had to fall for that big dork. What the hell did you see in him? I was there for you all the time. I was your best friend and I certainly look a damn lot better than that nerd. You always joked I was gay when I said I was not. You were being a big tease all that time, did you know? Why the hell did you not want me when you decided to become a fag, Victor?”21

Victor couldn’t hear half of what he was saying. But he heard the last sentence as he was shouting in his face. Victor felt tears stream down his face. He knew something horrible was happening to him. The small tremors in his body were not just from panic and his head and lungs hurt too much. What had he given him?22

“Yeah, cry. Tears look so good on you, Victor.” Jason said with a laugh, grabbing a hand full of his hair. 23

“Come on, suck me, Victor. I know you do it all the time with your little scientist.” Jason sneered in his face as he forced in his rod into his mouth. Victor gagged several times. What was he saying about not wanting to die alone just a while ago? This was worse and he badly wanted to close his heavy eyes and forget everything that was happening to him. Jason was calling him a slut. 24

Victor wanted to die from shame alone. But still the desire to see Ty and his baby again kept him from giving into the darkness completely. Would Ty want me after this? A small voice in his brain asked. The moment he doubted it, he knew he was gone. The darkness that was surrounding him started dragging him away from Ty and his baby. He watched in dismay and hopelessness as he watched the light at the end of the tunnel with Ty and his baby fade slowly until nothing but darkness remained.25