White Lies

That white bitch stole my daddy1

Don’t try and tell me it ain’t true2

I saw her do it3

Every day sneaking her into my momma’s house 4

Trying to freshen his clothes so we couldn’t tell5

But I knew6

Before anybody else I knew something wasn’t right7

You see as the youngest and most devoted to 8

My father 9

I watched him more closely than anybody. 10

I wanted to make him proud 11

I would follow his every move12

Once I chugged down a jar of jalapeños 13

Just so I could get used to the taste, 14

Just because I knew they were his favorite15

That burning sensation in my throat as they went down. 16

And when he saw what I did he gave me17

The Heimlich maneuver so that the pepper wouldn’t 18

Burn holes in my seven-year-old body19

He gave me several glasses of milk and 20

Let me eat my favorite vegetable: 21

Extra large marshmallows! 22

And there lies the fucking irony of that situation 23

Everyone knows that I was lactose intolerant24

and marshmallows aren’t a food. 25

They’re sugar 26

Therefore he feed me poison under that 27

façade of being my friend28

I threw up for nine hours 29

and spent too days in the hospital. 30


You don’t get it yet do you? 31

What have marshmallows and milk got to do with it32

They’re both fucking white33

Just like those whores who raped my family 34

Of everything we had 35

Their creamy hands got onto my family money and savings account36


The bitch convinced my father to break into my college fund37

Her trails of deceit ran all through our house 38

so we had to leave39

The smoky white lies 40

she spun latched hold of my daddy 41

and wouldn’t let go. 42

I don’t give a fuck if I’m overreacting 43

If I ever see that bitch 44

I’ll fucking put bullet through her head, 45

Chop her into the little pieces smaller than she is,46

And dump her in a heavy duty dumpster bag, 47

Just to having once taken out the garbage 48

before being asked to! 49


I remember the first day He told me about her. 50

Why our family was gone 51

Said that if it hadn’t been for her 52

mommy would have to work more 53

and at least54

He no longer brought her into the house. 55


He ran his fingers down my face telling me 56

it was ok. 57

"Everything will be ok."58

I tried to tell him.59

“No daddy it’s not ok. You’re sick! The white skin, three pound 60

slut is tearing the family apart 61

You won’t stop her 62

why can’t you just stop 63

why can’t you say you’re never gonna see her again! 64

Why Why 65

Why?” 66

I was seven again but instead of jalapeños 67

it was a broken heart, 68

And instead milk 69

He poured their white ass lies down my throat70

And to makes things sweet 71

He stuff me full of their false promises72

In hopes I would be too full to argue 73

Again he was killing me74


I tried to understand 75

I wanted to be able to love her too76

I wanted to be able to hug my father cry into his shoulder77

But I can’t get my arms around those…78

Those women............79

Things 80

That destructive addiction 81

That white chalk explosive 82

All of them crowd around him 83

In a cloud of ash and pain84

I hate them 85

For what they did 86

To my home, my life,87

My daddy 88

I hate who they are89

And everyone who smells, acts and looks like them. 90

I hate y’all mutha fuckers too91


Cause those white bitches stole My daddy. 92

It their entire fault! 93

The meth-od of their treachery,94

A crack on the glass table, who pretend to save 95

but heroine is never a game96


I look at my father now he says he’s clean97

Hasn’t seen those women in three years. 98

But you have to calculate how long he’s been with them 99

before the taint is gone. 100


That’s nine years plus, 27 birthdays he’s missed, 101

And the 3 thousand dollars that have gone down the drain. 102

Then subtract the two years he was in the clinic, 103

Square that by four months of remission and 104

You might get the sum total 105

of all the pain those bitches 106

caused me107


You might understand the hurt108

That fills my heart every time see those white women 109

And the destruction that they continue to 110

Reek in other people’s lives111


Amazing how a sniff of coke, a mouth full of meth, and a vein 112

of heroine can change a persons view, 113

Forever.114