Once a World (The Ending)

Then the other shoe fell. We had played all the parts, said every line. You knew I loved you and would never leave on my own, but you also realized I was better off without the bruises and harsh words. Everything must come to an end. It tore me up to lose you, because you were always there in my life, and when we weren't lovers, you were just another face in the crowd. But it was more. It burned my heart to see you everyday and sit next to you in class, and not being able to say I love you. You called yourself my friend, and it hurt to have you so close, but I couldn't even touch you. You flaunted your conquests in front of me when we were together, to give me the strength to leave you, but I couldn't. I will never say 'if only..' because there are no regrets, just sadness. Now that we were over, you still flaunted that you could pretend to love and have those women worship you. But I know they never saw the true you like I did. 1

I was broken, and cried black tears. I scarred my arm, and showed my heartache through crimson slits. You saw my pain, and not once did you stitch my woulds. You twisted me further around your finger, and played a game. I can still feel your hand resting on the small of my back when no one was looking. You said you never wanted me, yet there we were in shadows where you fed from me. I turned into another mistress. I tried searching for another who could save me, take me away from the addiction I had with you. Many tried, so many pure hearts, but none of them were enough. I am a cracked porcelain doll, and was no longer pure. None of them were enough. None of them were you. It was my fault to compare them to you, the blinding sun. You threw me into the ocean, because I had not learned to swim. I believe your betrayal, although I know all too well the reasons behind it, tore at me the most. 2

Don't worry about me when you leave. I don't hide my scars, but that doesn't mean I give up. I know one day you will come to the realization I always knew.. we had a beautiful thing. Although we had a world between us, we were lucky. We are surviving and it hurts only a little. I know you once loved me, and I know you still care, even when you can't hold me in your arms and tell me I'm beautiful. With you in my heart, I will always see the beauty resting in my eyes. You got your wish, you are immortal within me. And I got mine. I am free.3