by Geri Fitzsimmons & Andy Stephenson1
The clock on the wall informed him it was ten after five; it was unlikely he would receive any further reports today. Joe Farley finished off a cold cup of coffee and considered his options. Too early to eat, too early to sleep, he thought, then remembered he hadn’t made it to the bank. Rose would have a fit. A smile creased his mouth. Maybe his ex would call to bitch and he could talk to his daughter.2
The desk monitor still held a floor plan of the Baine site; the file rested on his desk. Hours had gone by since he began his search and he hadn’t been able to find out anything about Michelle’s boyfriend. It seemed that no one at Michelle's place of employment had been close to her. She had been very much a loner. She was conscientious and dependable, but she had not tried to make friends. Hal was unknown to them. To her neighbors he was only a body going in and out of her apartment. 3
Now, a check with the post office confirmed no one but Michelle Baine received mail at her address. Tapping his pen on the closed cover Farley considered his next course of action. 4
A thought hit him. Picking up Michelle's file, he located a number and dialed. The ‘hello’ squeaked into the receiver reminded him of a child.5
"Ms. Beverly Oleander please?"6
"May I ask who wants to know?" The woman’s voice took on a clearer tone, yet still there was hesitation.7
"This is Detective Sergeant Joseph Farley, 61st precinct, New York City Police. Is Ms. Oleander at home?”8
“Oh, I’m sorry…yes, of course, this is Beverly Oleander.”9
Farley couldn’t help but grin. The sudden transformation from suspicious to accommodating made him shake his head. He should warn her such a reaction isn’t in a person’s best interest. Sometime later he would, but not now. Now he wanted her cooperative. He said, “I'm looking into Michelle Baine's death. Can I ask you a few questions?"10
"Oh God, it was so awful! If only I could have done something to help" 11
"Yes, it is a sad waste." He paused to allow for the expected tears, and then continued. "Ms. Oleander, Michelle had a boyfriend named Hal? Can you tell me anything about him?"12
She sniffled. “Hal?” she said with a question as if attempting to recollect. Then it seemed to come to her and she said, “A few months ago, Michelle called me. She was so excited. She’d met this great guy. I think he managed or was assistant manager at an electronics store; televisions, computers, that sort of thing."13
“Did she tell you they were living together?”14
“I don’t think so. Not then. They’d only been out a couple of times.”15
“What about his last name? Did she mention that?”16
He could hear an intake of breath as if she mouthed words under it, trying to reclaim a memory, “hal..hal..good something.”17
She repeated out loud, “Hal Goodsomething…like Goodson…Goodman…I’m not sure. I remember teasing her that he must be good.”18
"You wouldn't happen to know anything else about him?"19
"Well, he has black hair. I remember Michelle raving about the color. But no, not really. I never met him. I’m sorry."20
“Don’t be. Actually you've been a great help,” Farley said. “If you think of anything else, do call the station."21
"Detective?"22
"Yes?” 23
"Was there something suspicious about Michelle’s death?"24
"We just have to investigate everything pertaining to it—right now I’m tying up loose ends."25
After Farley rang off, he doodled for a while creating every form of Good known to be a last name.26
At six thirty he checked his cell phone even though it hadn’t rung. He felt disappointed his ex hadn’t bothered to call. Even her screeching was better than no response. Tomorrow he’d make the bank, setup the direct deposit, then he’d have a reason to call her.27
He went through his usual closing ritual, before slipping into his seven year old Impala and heading for Mallory’s Pub. 28
29
At around the same time Mark Gheil’s new Porsche moved smoothly through the early evening traffic. Its motor purred contentedly, unlike the owner who fumed. He’d known when the Old Man offered him the proposition that he should have left it alone. He had even tried his damnest to convince Connelly they were on dangerous ground. Late night talk shows drew more than their share of weirdoes. If you legitimized one by having an honest to goodness psychiatrist answering the callers—you were opening yourself up to lawsuits. 30
Of course, the Old Man always got the final decision. ‘Mark, this fellow has a voice that can soothe a rabid dog. Wait till you hear his demo.’31
“Damn! Damn! Damn!” Mark vented his temper on the steering wheel. It was the Old Man’s baby—so long as the ratings held. Wait until things started going wrong—then Connelly would quietly divorce himself from the show.32
“Knew we had a winner.” Mark mimicked Connelly’s Boston twang as he swung the car into his parking garage. Attempting to work off his rage, he took the stairs at a run.33
Ten flights up he was breathing heavy and his chest hurt, still he didn’t pause until he reached his door. He stood outside, waiting for his lungs and heart to slow down before he slipped the key in the lock.34
“I’ll walk alone, and to tell you the truth I’ll be lonely…” The sound of her singing like the scents of Lavender and Lilac christened his world with a feminine touch he’d been lacking for years. The thought of Bridgett made coming home a radiant experience. 35
Of course, there was also the addition of her cat, Thomas. The overweight golden tiger, stretched leisurely on Mark’s leather Barca lounger. Mark threw his keys at the beast in an effort to dislodge him before any more scratches were added to those he’d already put there. Thomas stood up; his green eyes glared at the intruder. Recognizing Mark, he sniffed at the keys, managed to knock them on the floor, then lay down and rolled about, insuring that gold sheddings amply covered the seat.36
Bridgett must have heard the key in the lock or the keys jingling on their trip from hand to chair to floor. The door to the kitchen opened and she came through.37
Bridgett O’Reilly-- the absurd Irishness of her name always brought a grin to Mark’s Jewish lips. ‘Abe’s Irish rose’ and how she fit that picture. Barely a hundred pounds bouncing on a five-foot two frame all delicately curved in the proper places. “Off Thomas, off.” She shooed the cat. “Darling.” She smiled at Mark. “You look beat.”38
“Just a victim of management. They kept me there for four f..ing hours knowing full well I’m due back at the studio by twelve.” Mark looked longingly at his hairy Barkca lounger. Then collapsed on the matching couch and kicked off his shoes.39
“Poor boy,” Bridgett cooed. 40
In spite of his dark mood, Mark replied, "Hi Love, something smells delicious."41
”It’s almost ready.” Brigitte curled up next to him and planted a soft kiss on his cheek. “Tell me how it went.” Her mouth formed a pout and she wiggled her nose. 42
He laughed. He knew there was no way to dissuade her when her mind was made up. She'd be after him to discuss whatever was worrying him until he gave in. Might as well get it over with. He tried for a convincing smile and said, "You know I try not to bring the office home with me."43
"Well, you're loaded with it today." Laying her auburn hair on his shoulder, her face tilted so her green-gold eyes flashed up at him.44
"It’s that obvious, is it?” Mark thought fast. He didn’t want to burden her with the whole truth. “It's just that I've been trying to get at least a ten percent increase in Neil Harris' salary. He's good for the station and I would hate to see him walk."45
"Has Neil given any indication that he’s dissatisfied?" When Bridgett got up, Mark marveled. Her movements could barely be felt. She breezed over to the wet bar and claimed a bottle of Chardonnay she’d set to chilling earlier. Filling two glasses she lightly stepped back to Mark.46
Mark was still contemplating, how much he should confide. As he accepted his glass, he stayed on safe ground and said, "No, Neil seems to like KJAB well enough, but I'm afraid that someone will try to buy him out from under us. The ratings have gone up considerably for the graveyard shift."47
Bridgett sipped at her wine and her eyes glittered above the shine reflected in the crystal. "Hmm, well lamb, you'll just have to convince them. Surely, but you could persuade the Devil hisself out of his horns. "48
He laughed at the brogue she replicated only when desired. He toasted her with his own glass. "It's all a matter of sales, but that's not my department."49
"What does the station manager say?"50
"Don says that the ‘powers that be’ won't go higher than five percent. That's almost an insult."51
“Well…I have this Dutch Oven filled with Beef Bourguignon and some crusty French bread… if it sits there much longer, that would be an insult.”52
Mark was on his feet quickly. “My favorite. I know what we’ll do. You make it again on Sunday, and I’ll bring Old Man Connelly here for dinner. I’ll get Neil a twenty percent raise after one taste.” His arm sneaked around her narrow waist and he squeezed her against his hip.
Author notes
Photo from Met-art.com
In a list
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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Hey Geri and Andy,
I keep looking for my comments on this, but I guess it's because I read SRM. I didn't notice any big changes between this draft and the other or any boo-boos that aren't already mentioned. Very good chapter
Steve
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Hi Steve!
Yes, you probably read it at SRM. I think you always leave a comment. We appreciate you reading again and hope you're enjoying it.
Andy
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awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww that last partwas soooooooooooo cute ^^ I love this...and have finnaly caught up
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Hi Karissa!
Well, I'm glad that you're keeping up. I wish I could keep up with all my reading. I've got to start reading entries in the New Members contest for August tommorrow. I think there are about twenty entries. I'm one of the judges.
Andy
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Move it Andy--I've only got seven left.
chases
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Hi Geri!
I'm going after them now.
Andy
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Perfect
There is some much going on here and you transition it all so smoothly. I hope I get to read all of this story today!
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Hi EE!
Thanks for continuing with our story
. We appreciate it.
This is the second draft of our novel. In it we're only up to chapter sixteen. When you finish chapter sixteen, click on the list beneath the chapter and then click the 'Secret Radio Murders' list to continue.
We're nearly finished with the first draft. I'll be posting a chapter of it, today.
Andy
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AHHH! I love Bridget! Great (imagery?) with the brogue, perhaps has more of an impact on me because I can hear it (too many irish relatives!) so clearly.
But Mark seems sneaky-hmmm....
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Hi!
I'm glad you like our Bridget(her name gets spelled several ways, we'll have to settle on one). I've always liked redheads and real ones seem to be rare.
She pops in and out throughout the novel.
When you've finished chapter sixteen, you'll need to click 'The Devil Came East' link. Then click the 'Secret Radio Murders' link. 'The Devil Came East' is our second draft. 'Secret Radio Murders' is the first and it is nearly complete.
Thanks for reading out novel. I hope it keeps you very entertained
Andy
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Trust me, i plan on finishing this one as soon as I can, and I'll be sure to continue with secret Radio Murders- and I didn't even notice that her name was spelled differently (and even then I didn't spell it right- I was thinking of my cousin Bridget).
I agree, red heads are cool- I know a few (it goes with the Irish relatives) and usually have at least one in my novels.
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30 should Old Man be capitalized?
31 Oldman should be old man
32 you still have me confused with the Oldman
Last paragraph Oldman Connelly
Is Oldman actually his name? because you start out saying the Old Man
Great chapter
I had to glance back through all of them to remember what was going on.
Tris
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Hi Trish!
Old Man is a nickname. In the submission I sent to the agent, I edited it so it always appeared Old Man Connelly. I'll do that here, shortly. When I was preparing the submission, I was making edits directly to it. I was in a bit of a hurry.
I'm glad that your back with us. I'm going to try to start your novel, soon.
Andy
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I like how you've even given Mark some more character in this, it's refreshing to see that not a single character in this is a cardboard cutout. I've seen and read many stories that fall into that pitfall and it makes me angry lol. This on the other hand is becoming addictive. It's all building up and I cannot wait for the next murder!
Mike
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Hi Mike!
Geri is marvelous at developing characters. Almost all of the characters have dimension and are individualized. I'm very glad that you like our characters. Perhaps, they'll surprise you.
Andy
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This chapter went rather quickly. I really enjoyed it. The line 'The sound of her singing like the sent of lavander and lilacs christened his world with a femine touch'simply wonderful..
You also captured the essence of cats. I had to laugh. I have three and I don't own anything in my house including my computer. lol
I didn't see anything that needed changed.. So on I go.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Hi again, Artaq!
I've got six
s! I love them all. Two females and four males, each is quite different. They are from two to thirteen years old, however; Thomas is Geri's invention. I think I may have mentioned a cat, but Geri has given it character.
Maybe we should give Thomas a bigger role in the story.
Nice that you didn't find any problems.
We're very glad that you especially enjoyed this chapter.
Andy
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Finally had a chance to read more of this story; this chapter was entertaining as always, and I'm still anxiously waiting to hear more from our mysterious killer. Nice job, both of you =)
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Hi!
Thanks for coming back to our story. I'm very pleased that you're enjoying our story. We do our best to keep you guessing about our killer. Thanks for commenting and all the applause.
Andy
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After this chapter I really had to go re-read Chapter 5, I think it was, where Mark and Neil had exchanged words. I got the distinct impression earlier on that he wasn't fond of Neil, but perhaps his anger was more at the threat to the radio station getting negative publicity than to Neil himself?
Nice job with the interrogation, btw. Quick note- technically the landlord should have had Hal's name on the lease, or at least listed as an occupant if not an actual tenant. Unless, of course, the Landlord-Tenant-Act is different in New York than it is in Michigan and Alaska. Just a thought.
Good work! -
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Hi!
Mark is self serving and self centered.
You're correct I'm certain, most states probably want all tenents on the tenent agreement. However, the landlord may not have been aware. For the sake of the story as it stands, I guess will allow it to remain as is. It would require considerable revision to change it.
Andy
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Fantastic! Literally, I'm not being sarcastic! WWOO! I enjoyed reading this!
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You are really fast,
but you're not giving much of a critique. Thanks for reading this and I'm glad that you like it. Also thanks for the applause. I'm going to head to bed for a nap. I'm feeling tired. I'll bookmark chapter two and pick up from the later.
Did you read the prologue?
Andy
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Fanstastic!!!!
This is fantastic! I have not read any of the previous chapters, but that did not detract from my enjoyment of this chapter. It was very well written with an intriguing plot and natural dialogue. Your writing was very descriptive, making it easy to visualize the actions of the characters.
I especially liked your use of interesting verbs. For example:
P 46: She breezed over to the wet bar
-- I love that you chose to use breezed over boring verbs such as walked, moved...etc. It paints a much more vivid picture.
I looked really hard for spelling or grammatical errors, but I could find only this:
P 48 - Bridgett sipped at wine and her eyes glittered above the shine reflected in the crystal. "
-- Should there be a 'the' or 'her' before wine?
Honestly, other than that I could find nothing wrong. This was really engaging; the plot rolled along smoothly, and you kept my attention throughout. Very well written!
I definitely would love to read future chapters!!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 4.
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Thanks
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. We appreciate it. There will be more chapters to follow. This is our second draft. We're glad you like the story.
Andy
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