Miss controls our lives1
resistance is pointless2
we've all tried3
we sneak to the train 4
up the street round the corner 5
with all our stuff 6
and walk down main7
with green on side 8
the white comes past9
if you are good 10
they might let it slide11
Weapons get taken12
ozis and all13
and but if you are lucky14
they might be mistaken15
so i warn all who hide, lie and are guys16
resistance is pointless17
we've all tried 18
Author notes
for all those who go to boarding schools we feel your pain
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Good job. I could really see people trying to run away
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This kind of scared me. I like the rebellious streak in this and how it is given as a warning and a poem. This flowed very well and sent out a clear message. Awesome!
~~Roza
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Lovely one!!! I love it it's so true aye... It sounds really good as a poem as well =)
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Not in bording school but I have attended a summer stay-way academy. let me tell you I was surrounded by girls and nothing but for the first week and it drove me crazy. I actually hit on one of the male councilors when we were divided into groups.
But this was a funny little poem. I like the thought of boy trying to get away from bordeing school only to be dragged back. good job!beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, characters: 5.
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HAHAHA Very funny louise
awsome, btw email me sometimebeginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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fascinating
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that realli good lol nice wat matron u concertrating on?? miss rish?miss a?
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It's a good start but needs some work Line six and various other lines seem to randomly be placed into the poem to make it longer. This is okay but some seem to stand out more than others. Keep reading what you write to check for spelling, grammar, and flow issues. Read it carefully, because when it's something you've written you tend to skip sections or skim without knowing it.
Also, capitalize the word I and beginnings of lines.
oh lol have you looked at the background when you scroll fast? eheheh.
anyways keep writing and good work!
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thanks for the comment but its not ment to be perfect and uv kinda gtg to solway to understand it
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