I knew I was going to die. No one had to tell me the obvious, because I could see it coming. I was not going to see tomorrow, or my friends, or my house. Everything would be soon gone. My life would soon halt to a stop.1
The friends I'd once adored would be forgotten. The parents I'd grown to accept and love would no longer be just a phone call away. I would never again see the backyard I'd once had barbeques in. It'll all be over by the next morning. Everything I ever knew.2
What'd happen after this? Was heaven waiting my arrival? Or would my spirit shrivel up and disappear to be forever forgotten? 3
Could this be just another ending, awaiting yet another beginning? Maybe this happened to everyone. I'd always had my doubts about heaven and Jesus and all that mumbo-jumbo. It seemed like now, more than ever, my "faith" would be strong, although it seemed to slip more with every second.4
Author notes
Mmm, just a freewrite.
A contest entry
- Life is just a series of let downs. by brittany.geeze.
100 points, ended December 9, 2008, 11 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
:D
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Yuppers.
Nice. It was slightly depressing but I felt what you felt. It was very nice and you did a good job. Grammar check, though. Spelling check, too. -
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thanks for reading, and commenting(: Yeah, I still need to edit it a bit. Any specific errors you found? Thanks again
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i think this what i call faith..ur freewrite is simply brillient . i hope this piece is fiction not real...god bless u my dear with long life and luck ...keep writting.
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Thanks(:
Thank you, so much!!! For your comments and reading my piece. Yes, It's fiction. Thanks again!
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OK
Sad, but interesting. Is this a true story, or is this what you feel Inside? That is what my mind is stuck on. Your freewrite really stikes a chord in my heart. -
hmmm...... this written very insightfully..... i have to wonder if the approach of death can really be felt by some supernatural instinct.... very interesting
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This is really good, although I can't help but wonder if this is written from the view of knowing for certain that death is on the way (such as terminal illness) or if it is just a general philosophical knowledge of death coming to us all at some point. Regardless, this is well-written stuff for a freewrite!
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hmm, i think that way too. what happens after we die? do we go to another life (heven, hell etc.) or do we just simply disapear? if we did how? there has to be somthing, we cant just halt living!... can we?
You have made me think in a different perspective...
Thx... i hope,
~Cat
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This is a nice little write which asks questions that cannot be answered until a person dies.
You bring out the feelings and worries of the character very well indeed.
The final sentence of p1 needs to be altered as it doesn't make sense at the moment. I would like to suggest the following:
My life would soon come to an end.
A good freewrite which exudes emotion from the character.
Well done.
beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 5, characters: 5.
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Thanksss.
Thanks for the lovely comment(: I appreciate it. I think I'll keep it the way I had it though, idk I just like. Thanks again, have fun.
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