What's unusual is that all of the 'what ifs' and1
'It was a day like any other' honestly can't prepare2
you for something like this, I knew that.3
However something was tickling at my sanity,4
and it was just a matter of time before who5
I was caught up to what happened, I knew that too.6
My wife and I had been fighting7
And not one of those ridiculous fights you see8
On a television sitcom neither. We had drawn9
blood and the police had already been called10
out to the house once that day. I was riding high11
Off of my latest novel, and things were going great,12
and she was one of these broads that couldn't13
handle knowing women were finding14
me appealing again and that I was getting15
a second wind in my career while she...16
she was never quite able to pass her BAR exam,17
Or get the momentum back since the baby.18
Sure I loved her, but we had been together forever, and19
that was starting to weigh heavily upon the relationship.20
what we had in common was , or who rather, was our21
only son Alex, he is 6... Our pride and joy. Kids22
are little miracles you know? And Jill and I, my wife,23
we get crazy when we fight , and I'll24
speed off in a hurry, and then she'll start text25
messaging "U Cock Sucker, I hope you get a DUI!!!"26
And all kinds of nutty stuff like that, calling every five minutes27
And I'm just down the street at the pub.28
Well, that day Alex was after school late until 629
because he had swimming practice. Melisa, our30
babysitter and nanny was my editor's oldest daughter,31
but I was still fucking her and had been since she was 1532
I mean come on, I was only 30, Jesus Christ, what?33
I'm 32 now she's 17. My wife doesn't know, and now34
she'll never know. See, she always threatens to take Alex35
away when we get in fights, so it was just natural36
for me to try to beat her to the day care center.37
I mean it's not the first time I've raced from38
the corner pub to the preschool to get to39
him before her, because I worry, since40
she's normally drunker than me. Jill's one41
Of these rich girls, and drinks a lot daily.42
She's a fucking witch, that's why we fight43
She's always putting our son in between us.44
My latest novel, "Shaman" was selling45
Like Hotcakes. A novel that follows the life of a young Indian boy46
that finds a vision quest of his own that takes him all the47
way to congressman, where he is eventually assassinated48
By the CIA, for fear that he'll run for president.49
My masterpiece, so it wasn't that far fetched to assume50
that l was acting the fool, and behaving as though51
I was better than everyone, king of the mountain.52
I was heading from the pub in Laurel Canyon53
Up to the Day-care-center which is literally54
less than a mile from my house when that bitch started55
text messaging me again, so I answered my56
phone and just started yelling obscenities at57
her before she could get out the first word,58
but when I stopped no-one was on the line.59
I looked at the number to see who it was,60
and it was actually Melissa, oops, so I just assumed61
that she was calling to say that she had62
picked up Alex for Jill, and was now63
driving back to the house with him,64
because that's how Jill is, "why move65
when you can have someone else66
move around for you" was her motto.67
The new stop sign was just that, new,68
and that's what I'm saying, we've spent69
the last five years zinging through that70
intersection, it was the east to west that71
had to yield, and now it was the North72
to South that had to stop. I can still see73
the look in Alex's eyes when my Porsche74
T-boned him in the passenger seat of75
Melissa's white Honda Civic slowing down to turn left,76
it was something more than surprise it was, the end.77
Jill was stopped at the North side when I impacted78
Melissa's car, which then collided with79
her not causing serious damage, although80
Melissa was tossed through her sunroof,81
and into Jill's front windshield, dead.82
I don't know what good it would do now83
to say I'm sorry, or try to put things right.84
I guess the fact that I'm dictating this story85
to software that's typing it up for me,86
since I lost both of my arms in the accident87
Is proof enough, but what would it matter88
since there's no-one left to hold.89
I haven't even been left with wrists to slit,90
but for my own sick humor, and mind.91
Author notes
#3
A new stop sign at an intersection turns
tragedy for a young drunk couple arguing on their
cell phones when they collide with
their babysitter and six year old son
at a four way intersection, one late afternoon
in June, blocks away from their home
in the Hollywood hills.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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I love the bluntness in the characters voice, it all comes clear at the end when you discover that he's lost everyone he loves. I loved the last lines 'I haven't even been left with wrists to slit,
but for my own sick humor, and mind.' Good twist! -
This was a Fabulous story!! Keep it up.....
Though sad ending!
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or in your Jill's case "foul?"
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I spared jill, because, (for some reason god only enjoys) the jill's are always spared to perpetuate the migration of fowl.
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Several ironic twists here. The improbable three-way collision (interesting as a mirror to their inter-connected lives.) And of course this man, a writer, unable to do naturally what he was so excessively proud of...his writing. There is also the irony of his being unable to kill himself...a man who wanted more than his share, who lost it all in one freak moment. Of course it's fun to look at other possibilities that you might be saying here, for example the just retribution of God or whatever Preternatural beng you might choose. Interesting that you seem to have spared Jill, was there a reason? Popular justice of course would call for Melissa and the narrator getting their just desserts, but Alex died, so why not a clean sweep?
I also wonder about the narrator saying he's sorry? For what? The accident? Or his earlier actions? It seems he has a lot to answer for but we are left wondering if he even knows which ones.
An interesting read that gives the reader more to enjoy than just a simple work of Divine retribution. -
this is pretty ironic, i liked the way you have your own personal style of writing, it makes your story stand out. I didn't really think of this as horror however, more of a drama. the end was good, i liked that that mean man lost his arms lol. i guess i'm a sadist lol. Thanks for entering, good luick!
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wow. You definitly did a wonderful job of option number 3. Very well done and I certaintly was not expecting that ending. Keep up the good work.
All The Best To You And Yours
LittleMoth -
At first I was all like; damnit you damn Horus! You entered a POEM.. but then I read it and say that it was only a dead funny story that I rushed through like I was eating bananas..
sorry for the delay in judging but I’m thankful you entered my contest..
Love
Sam
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this drew quite a mix from me ... well laughter being the main thing but it was quite an interesting tragedy well comic tragedy. good luck
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Crist.. threw me for a loop that is for damn sure .. good one lol.. I must point out? This is why my sexy ass don't own a cell phone.. I swear.. Take Care, Catressa
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You can write damn you, and keep some one well glued to it too, Jeremi I wish the best to you and your writing career, you deserve it!
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Sorry to chuckle Jeremy, but the part about "not having any wrists left to slit", struk me as quite funny as hell. LOL You have quite the imagination! I am loving it, can't wait to read more about the events that surround this "stop sign". I mean did you guys make up or what? Creepshow indeed! Everything is written out so vividly that I am there with you, through it all. Your storytelling skills are unmatchable! Splendid!
Renee ♥ -
You know what I like about this and your style in general? I like the detail. Not the fluidy, sweet detail that poets use but the gritty detail. You tell me things like, laurel canyon, day care center less than a mile from your house, shaman, Honda Civic... etc... So when I'm reading you, I'm right there with you, except I still have two good arms.
M -
WOW!! This is entrancing! And...so sad...seems like the author is still a bit cold from the accident...and I can't tell if the son survived or if the wife survived...I can imagine he is extremely p.o.-ed, and still not able to totally absorb the "impact" of this accident...tradgic...I am stunned!
Peace, Kelly -
Brilliant just love it! Life has a way of being a bitch sometimes, but certainly makes one stop and think very well penned.
Kat xxx -
now it's done.
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That's very kind thanks.
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No wind to breathe .. left brethless.. my god; you're wonderful ..this is ... amazing and that begins with the A ... the rest of the alphabet .. is ..I still can't breathe..stuff like this brings on my seizures .. I'm in tears and it's just now beginning to penetrate ..
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Great job Horus
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smiles
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It's still under construction, there's a new paragraph for you though if you'd like.
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I was just getting into this, in an enjoyable voyouristic kind of a way, was sorry when it finished
Kat xxx
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