" As you strive to further your education, we are interested in knowing what matters most to you. How has an experience you have had, an interest you have pursued, or a person you have known shaped your thinking? Compose an essay of no more than 500 words."1
It seems like my time at Harvard University during the 2007 and 2008 summer sessions was a lifetime in itself. This experience has shaped my writing, my values, my fencing skills, and re-defined my view of the student-teacher relationship.2
In the summer of 2007, I took a Beginning Fiction Writing class and in the summer of 2008, I enrolled in a Beginning Screenwriting class. These classes forwarded my writing in ways I never thought possible. I now know that the function of paragraphs is more important than the aesthetic quality of words.3
When you have a concrete idea and specific methods of organizing a message to promote that idea, the beautiful words will follow. First, you must have something meaningful to say. Then, you can concentrate on your voice and the ardor in each word.4
Learning about writing has also helped develop who I am and what I believe in. High school is about finding your moral compass. There are times that I have looked to the Joker’s philosophy and times when I’ve believed in Harvey Dent. Fiction writing has taught me that life is conflict. Without conflict, life is not worth living. I would rather live a life in conflict than live in bliss. These classes have taught me to believe in men, not miracles. You should hope for miracles, but plant cabbages.5
In addition to encouraging philosophical growth, studying writing has improved my fencing. In a novel, if the writer over describes, then he risks boring the audience and ruining the entire story. If he under describes, then he risks losing the reader. In fencing, if movements are over exaggerated, then the fencer sacrifices speed. If they are too quick, then the fencer sacrifices accuracy. The most elegant, enduring styles do not consist of superfluous or wavering movements, but simple, concise, flowing movements. They must be to ensure swiftness and precision. I now endeavor to make each move contain only the parts necessary to make it effective. Fencing and writing are intuitive and intellectual processes that require endless practice. Learning how to effectively wield the pen has taught me how to effectively wield the sword.6
My Beginning Fiction teacher wrote pages of comments on my work. She demanded high expectations and challenged me on a level that I have never been before. She dared me to work even harder at each new story. After my last class, I came home in a daze, plopped down, and said “Wow.” I now know that true learning is a mutual process where student and teacher are both involved and hope to achieve this type of bond in college.7
My Screenwriting teacher also challenged me, but in a different way. She urged me to become involved in the film community by attending film festivals, entering contests, and submitting scripts. One night, while at the Women In Film Festival Awards, I met the Screenwriting teacher from Boston College. His insight into Hollywood gave me a new perspective on the screenwriting business. He told me exactly what I should be doing if my goal is to become a movie or television writer. Because of my teacher’s encouragement to become involved, I now have a definitive plan to achieve my dreams. 8
I have made countless friends through sunset cruises, Tanglewood concerts, visiting colleges, and doing psychology studies. No matter how far away we live, be it the distance from my birthplace, El Salvador, to Taiwan, or how different our cultures may be, there will always be the underlying aspect of humanity that unites us. We have the ability to smile. We have the ability to frown, and we will always love pizza. My friends were and continue to be an inspiration that one day we will not say we are of a state, or a nation, but of the world.9
My experiences at Harvard Summer School are unequaled. I have learned that by being fearless, amiable, and disciplined, I can take full advantage of any opportunity.I know these lessons will always show themselves in my words, my active involvement, and my fervent drive to excel. 10
In a list
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Hello Voldo, getting ready for University are you
. 30 applications—wow how life has changed 
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I think my Pop just sent a check
or I would still be in first grade.
This essay is very well done. Since this type of writing isn’t my forte, I don’t want to make some stupid assessment that will show off my ignorance
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I wish Irish would read it for you. She’s in grad
class now—so she’s involved with this kind of writing.
My last essay was written about a hundred years ago
well…anyway it seems that long. I will definitely be watching the comments you receive because I just know my oldest will be soon be wanting me to help him 
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Good luck,
Geri
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wait what??? 30 applications!!!? lol I sent out 10... OMFG... they cost like 60 bucks each, but some of them were free, so i ended up paying like 200 bucks.
Irish? is that her name? If so... that rocks. Yea, if she'd be willing that'd be great... I already sent out my applications... but it's always good to improve essay writing.
Lolll... My mom told me this story where she (like 5 year old version of mom) walked in a convenience store and there was this huge bear and she told her dad she wanted it. And the manager was like "it's not for sale." Her dad talked with the guy in whispers. then the guy gave it to her and she left the store hugging it. And then she saw her dad have his hands around the guy's collar and thrust a wad of money in the guy's hands. Don't know .... how that relates...
*nod nod* My advice for people about to go through the college process:
1. check out colleges and visit them early... (not the ones you really want to go to, but just to get a feel if you like urban/rural.) I used to think I wanted to go to a rural school... you know it would be peaceful, but no. Turns out i'm a city guy.
2. think about what job you like (job search and stuff)
3. summer of senior year, begin filling out your applications and supplements (a lot of colleges require supplement essays)
4. In senior year, visit the college you really want to go to. You'll be a bit more mature and have studied some already, so you have a wider take on the schools you really like.
5. Write essay in steps (planning, then writing, then re-writing).
.... i'm pretty proud with how my essays turned out, but my supplements sucked... because I did them at the last minute.
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Fantastic
Want a wonderful essay - I was truly inspired and impressed by your insight. This really holds a powerful message and I'm glad you decided to share it. I have no constructive criticism to offer - I think it's fabulous as is.
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Gracias ^.^ I just submitted all of my college applications... like 30 minutes ago.
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Beyond Excellent to Outstanding
Hi Voldo,
This is an outstanding essay! Your words captured my mind from the very first word and I had to finish it.
Your thoughts were clear and went right to your points.
May all your goals come ture,
Lynn
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Thanks for the comment :-D. I worked really hard on it. Took me days to get my thoughts to be clear :-P.
Gracias *nod nod* -
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It shows
Take a bow, my friend,
all your hard work shows in this essay,
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Interesting essay.
p6 are "an" intuitive and intellectual "process" I guess it is correct the way you have it but to me it reads better this way
p10 I see the reason you added this paragraph however it breaks the flow of the rest of the essay and it's like being thrown onto another railroad track and is especially odd since your next paragraph goes right back to talking about summer school. I suggest if you want to talk about humanity and how you've made friends all over that you might talk more about your friendship experiences during this summer school experience. Or at the very least make some reference to what you talked about in the previous paragraph in your concluding paragraph.
Overall I found this interesting and well written. I hope it helps you get into the university.
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Thanks for the comment!
Question... when you say "talk more about your friendship experiences during this summer school experience" To you... did it seem like the paragraph about friends was about all of the friends in my life or just the friends I made during this experience.
It was supposed to be the friends I made while at the summer session.... I just want to know if that wasn't clear enough.
*nod* I definitely see your point on P. 10. Need to make it link back to the summer experience more.
Thanks again XD
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Your welcome
No it wasn't really clear specifically because of this; "sunset cruises, Tanglewood concerts, visiting colleges, and doing psychology studies."
Other than psychology studies (which you only hinted at in p5) it seemed you were talking about other things you did outside of this summer session. From my point of view you could have gone to these concerts and other collages or on the cruise at any other time. So it wasn't clear these happened during the same period or with people you met during these sessions. A slight change to that opening sentence mentioning the timeframe might clear things up and help it to flow better.
Good luck to you. -
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*nod* I'm thinking the same thing. Thanks ^.^
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not a problem
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Reads like a column...
Wow.
I can definitely see that you can write. In a sense, you had my eyes glued to my computer screen. Still, I think that this would work better as a column...and a really good one at that. I love the advice that you give, and think that the characteristics of your personality really shine in this.
I am glad that I read this. Thank you for sharing.
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What's a column? lol.
Thank you for your comment XD.
*nod* I really want to get my personality across to the college admission counslor.
*nod nod* Thank you again :-P
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