It is dark now. My time has almost come. I sit patiently and contemplate the path I have chosen. No one forced me to join the army. This was my desire. My ambition. We all make choices daily. These choices either bring us closer to our goals or they push us farther from them. My choice was simple. I would join the Kings army and fight for freedom. I would fight for my country, my family, and my King. 1
Sitting here at this moment, I can’t help but wonder how my daughter is doing. She is ten, although she thinks herself to be much older. I hope she is proud of her father. I hope she remembers the sacrifices that were made for her benefit. We live in a land of terror, a land of hate. Ever since the darkness came into the territory, we have been fearful of our lives.2
In the beginning of the Great War, our people had high hopes. The king gave speeches of patriotism. The bishops gave speeches of God. And the Queen, our beautiful queen, spoke of passion for family and country. Yes, we were hopeful. As others, I too enlisted. The young men spoke of glory. They believed themselves to be invincible. Tales would be sung of them marching on the army of darkness and single-handedly bringing home victory. They are all dead now.3
I cannot believe that a more fierce battle has ever been fought since the inception of time. Wave by wave they came. There was maliciousness about them. An inborn cruelty that was uncommon to us. My brothers in arms fought valiantly, and yet they all fell one by one. For my country’s sake, let it be known that no braver group of men had ever been assembled. For a moment it seemed we would be victorious. The battles were fierce and the conditions more so. From the peaks of mountains to the open valleys, we fought. 4
During our victories, songs of joy were heard which no angelic choir could rival. These moments of triumph were sweet although short-lived. Carved into my mind are the many defeats we have suffered. The most wretched torments of hell could not compare to the cries of agony and pain I have witnessed. Each night my dreams are occupied by death. Cold lifeless bodies of former comrades haunt me. They say no words. They simply stand over me, shovel in hand, and toss cold dirt on my decaying corpse. I haven’t slept in days. 5
I glance at the man to my right. He stares intently into the fire. His shoulder length gray hair is a mess of dirt and blood. Tears stream down his sunken cheeks, pause almost poetically at his jaw-line, and then fall to the unforgiving earth. I look into the fire, ashamed at having witnessed his moment of sorrow. His queen is dead. His two sons, great knights that they were, are also dead. I am just a soldier. A simple pawn in this Great War. I have lost nothing. My life I gladly give for my countrymen, for my King. My King stands. Despite his haggard appearance he still displays regality.6
“Soldier, our time has come,” He says. “Let us pray that our last battle will be fought with the same tenacity and zeal as the ones before.” My King stretches out his hand. “Thank you for your courage,” He says as we shake hands. 7
We do not wait for death to find us. Heads held high, we go in search of the enemy. We die bravely. A moment before my spirit is set free, I think of my daughter. I ask God to guide her and keep her safe. Let her remember me not as the common man I was. But as the soldier who gave his life for his King, his country, and her. 8
A contest entry
- Chess Set by Azaradelle.
1000 points, ended January 2, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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A great story with no weak spots! If you really know the chess board, you can make out the pieces, but in a way that it makes the whole game come to life. Now I know what to think of when I play chess
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An excellent work.
I could almost see an old grizzled veteran, sitting in the glow of a tavern fire recounting this tale to a silenced crowd of onlookers.
Excellent metre and pace and not a wasted line in there. And yes, I know it's not a poem but it just might as well have been
You should be proud of this.
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Full of excellent imagery! I was a little disappointed to read of the pawn's death so suddenly there at the end, but a quick death is the best any soldier can hope for, sometimes. You did a great job filling in the background for his situation and painting the scene with masterstrokes of detail. Bravo, an excellent story!
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hey hey hey, I've read this before, and even joined the deliberation *is soda* congrats on the silver !!! Again, I enjoyed and enjoy this
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Wonderful
This is a wonderful portrayal of a soldier's feelings. It is also a great eye-opener for people who believe war is somehow 'glamorous' when it is quite the opposite.
Equating the soldier to a pawn is a masterstroke and oh so real for is not a pawn sacrificed to save the King on the chess board?
Although this well written story has a sad ending, I enjoyed it and you have, in 566 words, showed war to be anything but a game.
Well done.
Lawrie
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Thank you for reading and commenting on my story.There is nothing glamorous about war and I pity those who think that.Thanks again
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I agree
I wonder how many patrons of the Hollywood dollar would feel if they were actually in a REAL war. They don't mind taking the money for glorifying war on the silverscreen but they would no doubt do their utmost not to be enlisted if real trouble broke out.
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Outstanding!
I was hooked right away into this piece. You did a wonderful job! Your details were powerful and moving. I felt i was there with your chracter.
Outstanding!
Lynn
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Thank you. I find it hard to convey my thoughts to paper sometimes so I am glad i did a half decent job with this story.
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I loved this tale. It was both moving, and thrilling. Grasping me in the first lines! Although, i noticed something, everyone seems to place the whites as their main characters, the good ones, and the black pieces as the enemy, the evil ones.
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The difference of showing and telling..
..is in your story. *clap*s
I told you I was going to read one of your works, and I'm certainly glad I did it.
I absolutely adored this story... it encompasses more than the few hundred words it posseses, and speaks beyond the selected words you have used (I used present tense because.. well, just because). It lies between the border of sadness and heroism, and blends the two in a beautiful art you've showed and told so well. It's also true, I guess, since some people still have to sacrifice (like people in war torn areas).
Bleh, you got me to rant enough.
Thank you very much for this, and good luck with the contest
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Once again thank you. If was was not for people like you and people on this site i would not have the courage to share my work.
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Wow...
Very chilling. The ending gave me goosebumps. I love endings that give me goosebumps.
Very touching tale, it's often we view war more generally without being given a glimpse into individual soldier's lives.
I think you achieved this wonderfully.
Excellent tale, thank you for entering and goodluck in the contest!
Yrs.
Azaradelle.
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thanks for your comments and thanks for the contest.
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