Pretty good.

Okay, like I said pretty good, but there's a few things that I think you may want to double check.1

1.) Spelling errors, not all of them are misspelled words so much as the wrong word spelt correctly, i.e; 2

"The palace that in the day would be bustling with servants and nobles was at the moment a place of quite movements and little creaks."3

You want quiet not quite.4

2.) There were a few grammatical errors. A slow read through ought to point those out to you. 5

3.) Some of the dialogue reads forced, try to lighten it up a bit without taking out your ideals.6

Other than those, I can't wait to see more on this piece. I like fantasy and you seem to be doing a very good job on this work in progress.

A contest entry

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Comments

  • tony333
    December 1, 2008
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    Thanks for the comments!!

    I understand what you mean about my spelling and grammatical errors. This is just the beginning and I haven't edited or proof read yet. I just wanted to get an idea of what people thought about it so far.

    Good luck in my competition