She was "So soft"

She grabbed the parchment from her writing table. She read it, and as her eyes darted past the tiny scrolls, her grip tightened over the paper! Then the next moment, the paper was clentched tightly, cruely, in her fist. A tear or two ran past the cheek and vanished into nothingness! A sigh and a quiver, then her polished nails pierced into the parchment and through it...1

"Why?" She trembled, as the voice escaped the lips2

Now her nails were piercing in her own fist tearing the paper,3

"Why?" Another painful shadow crossed the face4

She looked down at the parchment and laughed hysterically! Then again a tear trickled down and another sigh, another "Why?"5

A knife lying near-by caught her attention. With loving caress, she caught it. Smiling cruelly, unhumanely, she scarred her finger;a tiny cut. Blood trickled out and still smiling, she scarred all her fingers one by one! She laughed; a hysterical, cruel laughter and wept silently too! Blood was so dark, so thick, so lovely...6

Streching her bleeding fists, she ran her fingers on the cheeks and near the eyes! Wiping the tears with blood. Why she was doing it she didn't know, maybe cuz she knew no one'll stop her or maybe cuz it was comfort, an escape!!!7

She just had written a poem, just to ease herself, but it had reminded her the past, someone dear, who left her, betrayed, even when her life was full of it, she couldn't stop her hand now scrolling furiously and then falling down hopelessly. And when she regained control, she read the scroll and she did it all! It happened often but she couldn't be mad, she just was a bit depressed but she never revealed. When outside her room, she always was giggling, making others laugh, so no one knew nor even she, that what she was. A broken image from an old painting or a piece of parchment burnt at corners, no one knew! It was her style and she loved it!8

And now she was there, hands over the scratched face, the scratches would vanish by morning and as far as hands were concerned no one will see, she was sure. So, she continued scrolling her face with blood, trying to kill internal pain through physical pain, and tears trickled out but they'll soon dry! Yeah they'll she said to herself and a grieved smile captured in the mirror of those deep eyes...