is mona lisa really smiling?

BEFORE YOU GET ALL BENT OUT OF PLACE AND CALL ME A BITTER GUY... CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING WITH OPEN MIND, i take a chance in writing what's really on my mind1

not all of life is beautiful - art mimics reality, and reality hits, it's horrible in the truth, i'd never ask you to view some of the sick and twisted artwork that came out of world war one but compared to renaissance, is mona lisa smiling or without a hope of faking tears aren't falling from a lover's quarrel after the painting is done. it's about as real as these false internet love affairs. they are about as real as renaissance beauty in art among the plagues, so we die tomorrow, i'd like a beautiful portrait of my wife before she deteriorates from coughing up blood, so instead now, we cover up our imperfections and failures with a cool author's page, no disrespect intended2

if you've ever seen any 19th century realism art about the drudgery of peasants, beggars and flower girls and gone wow... that's lovely despair in the universe thank God that's not me. think again, for the good grace that keeps them alive is the same grace of God that you thank "i'm so grateful not in their shoes... like you've stopped and talked to the bum on the street begging for spare change, yah the blind guy yelling spare a bit of change is too loud and obnoxious and harsh to deserve your spare coin when your wallet and mutual funds are loaded, should we help our fellow man when we got bills to pay and a mortgage to pay off? he is just like you and it scared you to think about it, we all bleed red after all3

the general public doesn't give honestly a flying fart about the poor guy on the street freezing and being scraped off the street in the dead of winter morning, there's nothing magical or happy about that, something not too real and noxious4

no thanks, i'd rather think happier thoughts like love and harmony, the kind of endings in movies, a fallacy of ad populus -- a latin way of saying just coz everyone believes it, doesn't mean it's right eats up the sex and magic of don juan gymnastics in bed and love potion #9 coz it all sells ideas of wonderfulness and reads in all the harlot romance and self-help for dummies guide books because it's a nice escape, they're all delusional5

so don't support escapism by renting or buying a ticket to the new harry potter movie coming out in the summer, tell your friends to rent the movie about the life and times of Jesus according to Luke's Gospel, now there's a movie that didn't get enough publicity because there was not any sadistic bondage whipping scenes6

i really would ask mel gibson to make some decent movies about the rest of the bible since he's so convinced that divine inspiration told him how to produce the passion of christ, charles heston did that with the ten commandments and spartacus with the strength of the underdog and nation under oppression. how about some of the military prowess of Joshua... he takes out an entire battalion in his rage of being denied his one true love and burns all their crops. ultimate warrior that makes russell crowe in gladiator look like a kid with a toy plastic sword7

or the lamentions of jerimiah while the isrealites were trapped in babylon, guys thrown to the hungry lions but they weren't eaten coz angels sat on the jaws of the lions and the lions didn't eat the condemned much to the annoyence of the babylionum king. that'd make for some hollywood grandeur, but woah... reference to God leading them out of the valley of death and oppression, that's impolitically correct, stick to sin city and whatever soppy romance chick movie richard gere and jennifer lopez are making next8

so go to film school and make movies about Jesus... i dare you, i'd be first to be in line to see your movie instead of lining up a week early to see the release of volume III of star wars on the 19th of may... but it's all fantasy and all good fun, but if you had a bad childhood experience in sunday school of having your parents drag you to church and telling you to shut-up then i respect that9

it's all about the money, whether in church coffers or in mass media's top ten movies of summer sales. the good guy shouldn't win in the movies, the marketing agent does that and might as well be the main character, after the movie... buy the lunchbox with your favourite movie hero pasted on the side. is this about harry potter, a lippy wizard kid fighting black magic and attempts on his life from the one who cannot be named or is it about the virtues of the righteous warriors of christianity fighting the evils of sex, violence and drugs/magic of hollywood so please answer that one10

the first question in journalism isn't whodunnit like some stupid game of Clue, get a clue of WHY did it have to happen and then why our editors censor out the truth because the investors wouldn't like to get hacked down for being high society profiting off the middle class, oohhhh it's so proletarian and bourgeoisie, communism and capitalism, leave politics out of it, everyone works for the man eh? WHY all the hostility between christians and non-believers who are in the closet about their sexuality and faith11

on the sex drugs and violence mixed into rock and roll, sex is natural progression of marriage and love why is this so wrong if it happens before or after you slip a wedding ring on, there will be always relationship tension to work out, wouldn't you rather it happen in bed before the honeymoon then afterwards eh?12

violence is with us like the poor as long as people won't bother to understand each other and raise fists to strike down the weaker in disrespect, my newest frustration is wanting to hit down the fools with a golf club like it would solve anything but at least i wouldn't have to put up with their whining... caddie, this idiot needs a nine iron between the eyes, don't worry i'm endorsed and sponsered by the golf companies like jack nickleson, so i can break golf-clubs all day, like you've never had a violent thought when so frustrated13

drugs, well what can i say about drugs... at least the rock and roll is good still even if you're stoned out of your mind, you don't care about the credit card bills, you're flying above the clouds on XTC. they'd kick you out of church if you were sitting there smelling like ganja but if you were in a trance and started speaking in tongues everyone would be cool with it, if you went, dude why is everyone chanting in unison? is this some kind of cover front for a new cult do i get a haircut and pair nikes before we have the apple sauce and join the aliens riding haily's comet, refernce to that crazy group in the late 90's14

no less crazy then throwing away my education to start a rock band and tour and get the girls, back on the dis-illusional as my flight to stardom is unlikely, it's all good times to relive the good memories and believe we aren't as big a losers as we deny we are, so have another shot of tequila, after four shots, i'm still hanging in there, but dam it was funny when that dude accidently bought my drink at the bar because the barkeep thought we were ordering our drinks all together, me and my buddy laughed so hard after he left all mad, so i bought the guy another tequila shot and we drank it to the craziness of punk music, and of course i slept off the experience until 2pm the next day15

depressed spikes and valleys, we haven't done everything right in our lives so we live in a hazy state of happiness for a few hours before hitting the narcotic spike, look that one up if you've never been a peer drug counsellor, it' won't mean anything from a dictionary definition so i'll save you the trouble by saying it's all about high spikes of euphoria that we all want to encounter, it really sucks16

but like love, nothing happy lasts forever and it's all downhill to the depths of personal hell before we find another fix of happiness, and the stronger the drugs, the longer the fix, so drug counsellors can only sit by and listen hoping the drug addict doesn't bottom out too hard and overdose17

where did that random analogy about drug counselling come from? is this why people break faith and abandon God? they hit rock bottom and expect angels to lift them up and feed them manna? keep taking another hit from the bong as you look for another god or idol18

whether it's singing hymnals or snorting a line of coke, we are all just looking for a way to get higher then our normal drudgery of every day existence, surely this basketcase we call normal be it19

maybe Christ is that unattainable beautiful person that we all want to be like in the beauty magazines but unlike brad pitt and jennifer lopez, Jesus came down and dwelt among us as a commoner and bothered to remember that even though he was above it all as God's son, he bore his plight as a human with dignity and humbleness20

i guess i'm a little bit of skeptical of anyone who beats the wardrums of how holy and righteous they are by boycotting horrible sinners who produce and go to movies about witchcraft when they've never admitted to have gone down a road of depression and experienced love and hate and everything in between, never wished there was some magic fix to help a friend get past a heart-break21

like nobody has ever avoided all the failures of a relationship or had to listen to a friend in need of answers you know you could never tell them without hurting them immensely22

it don't matter whether you're black or white or jewish, it's the common experience of humanity and no amount of denial in fag bashing or horrid black magic, it's all the same, we're curious of the stuff we're not allowed to do or think about and it's crazy talk when someone else does enjoy it, so you're secretly homosexual or scared to death of sex or just bitterly confused23

it's no reason to accept the social norms, don't you ever question all the insecurities and i'm going to get hazed and ignored for writing anything about the non-happy issues in life24

i apologize for writing such dreariness. so i've honestly seen just as much as i can handle, heard much worse, so life does go on whether you're a drug dealer with a fist full of $20 bills representing the market demand for the dis-delusional, heroin or harry potter it's just an escapism. same deal as if you're the Jehova Witness knocking on doors honestly believing every soul you save sends you that much closer to heaven, skipping the VIP list and straight into heaven no questions asked and past sins forgiven, sorry but get in line, you're not the only ones saved, righteous souls in east india are saved, the bramus (holy high priests) teach no less truths of integrity and charity to your fellow man25

even they got secret fears so i ask the real motivators of the dealer and bible thumper alike... why do you advertise and hope the masses won't figure it out26

so as reality mimics art, what do you expect the mona lisa in your life to hold that smile that makes you consider that your life would be so much more perfect if you knew her, she was no madonna and probably was sleeping with di vinci, he may have been a genius, but what does it matter, he was still a man with desires and compassion for his fellow human being, he learned medicine and city planning just to deal with open sewers and disease, but he still knew his lover, whether she was actually a young man from his studio, it doesn't matter, he captured a timeless smile27

and that's all the illusion i'd like to see, that i made a girl smile for a while, not some sketchy low resolution webcam, it's the smile in her voice after talking all night on the phone and forgiving each other, that's what it's all about, keep your chin up like mona lisa, it's a long time to sit and smile for a painting28

cheers29

phil30

ps i'll edit this rant later, don't take it personally as it is only a rant as i can't control my love-life or grades in school, so life goes on31