Twilight gave her the courage
to approach tonight...
...she had wanted to talk
from very first sight...1
He dropped back into her
life today...
...leaving her with
nothing to say.2
Slowly standing she
took a cup, then
a ladle and filled
it up.3
Approaching the
"new guy in town",
she handed him the
cup and slowly sat
down.4
He looked in her
eyes, then sipped
the hot soup,
tears in his eyes,
he asked
"who are you?"5
She smiled and said
"well you may not
remember, but I worked
for you...
...until 2 years ago,
...December.6
"The Christmas lay-offs",
he said in a whisper,
"now I remember,
you and your sister...?"7
"And eventually my
brother and dad;
your company was all
our little town had."8
"I was so blind"
whispering again...
"I'm so sorry, I don't
know where to begin..."9
"Forget it" she said with
a sad smile,
"Just concentrate on your
own survival.10
You'll need a place to
sleep tonight,
you can share space with
me, and the others,
if you like.11
We all sleep together
over under that beam,
come on, I'll show you,
it's not what
it seems...12
The option you have,
to sharing our bed,
is sleeping alone,
and freezing to
death...13
It gets damn
cold, here,
under exit
one o five,
you need
friends to
stay alive.14
So when did
you finally
loose the
company?"15
"In December"
he said...
..."ironically."16
"Irony?" She
raised her
brow,
I think it
might be
fate...
somehow.17
18
19
20
21
22
Author notes
I feel for everyone one world over this year, that don't have a home, due to fire, floods, government etc...
I hope everyone realises that friendship on all levels, means more than material things...
A contest entry
- Poetry Contest look and see by Riftkin.
350 points, ended November 27, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Great stuff!!!
Strong narrative & characterisation throughout that made for compelling read & enthralled throughout...
A touching piece that is very apt in December, with it seemingly being the only time of year that anyone spares a thought for these poor unfortunate people...
Keep up the good work...
Well done!!!
-
I quite enjoyed the way you brought all of this together.
The progression is excellent and the story is poignant.
Best of all though, is the message the story shouts out - be kind and charitable as much as possible, for you never know when you will need kindness and charity yourself.
The story also shows the act of forgiveness, itself a blessing.
Good write, good story, good set of messages; a good job, very well done.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
-
Charity in perfection.
To show charity to another
when they are down no matter
what they did to you.
Best wishes in my contest.
Riftkin
-
x3
-
Great message in this! I love the story depth and how you've related it to present time.
Best wishes in your contest
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