The Princess's Choice

I'd made my choice. It was done. Chosen. Long, long, ago, since the day my father stopped speaking to me. This was his punishment to me. Ben was nothing to him, only a prop to get to me. My father knows me too well, knows I am too much like him to choose clearly. I am like my father. And that will be the end of me. 1

The amphitheater. The choice. As if. And the irony? Ben has no choice. None at all. That is the truth. He hopes I know which door will end him and which will save him. I do know which door will save him. What about me, though? I know either door will hurt me, more than anything. I just don't know which will hurt more, though. 2

To any sane person, the choice is obvious. The lady, my servant, Amelia. Who could watch the one they care about be torn apart, bleed, and then die? He won't survive. I know that more than I know anything else. His screams would echo, over the silent crowd which would marvel at him like I did, fall as hard as I have for him. The echo would stay, though, in me, knowing I caused it. His blood would be red. No one sane would choose the door with the tiger3

But I am not sane. The tiger would end him, but Amelia would end me. I've seen them, sometimes, talking. She stares at him, and I know she was thrilled when they picked her. Her improbable dream might come true. And Ben? I don't know what he thinks. But he smiles at her. That's all I've seen them share, a short conversation or two. But what do I not see? 4

This is no longer about Ben, even though he will have to carry out the choice I make for him. The choice is clear: Amelia, life, happiness. But my insecurities might overcome the clear choice. Insecurities, a nice word for jealousy. My pride does not have room for Ben loving someone else. He would, I know it. He would marry her and love her and forget about me. Spurned by a servant. Not me. Not me. 5

My father must be pleased. I wouldn't be surprised if he left out the blueprints to the amphitheater himself for me to find. Either way he wins, either way I lose. This can't happen.6

All this time I've been looking at the two options, the two choices my father laid out for me. I need another option, another choice, another way. It's too late, though. My father is about to summon for Ben to come out through the passageway that connects....7

The passageway. The blueprints. A tunnel that connects the chief of police's box to the back entrance to the two rooms, two choices. But now there is a third choice. Do I have time? Could this work?8

Ben came out. I met his eyes. He could tell I knew which door would save him. Did he love me the way I loved him? He did, he did I hoped. There was no choice, only what I'd decided. I pointed to the door on the right, where stupid, happy Amelia was waiting. She’d be upset if he died, but nothing like what I would feel. If I moved slowly she would get her dream, a marriage with someone even a princess loved. Maybe that was what he wanted. But I was a little past caring about that.9

Almost falling I bolted from my seat and blurted something about needing water. I’m sure my father was smirking, thinking he’d broken me into not watching. He was wrong, but I had no time to correct him. No time…10

I ran into the police chief’s box, mercifully empty because his wife was going to have a baby any minute. He wouldn’t have stopped me. If his wife gives birth while I was trying to keep Ben I swear I will do something. And it won’t be nice.11

Once in the box I open the small door he thought he’d hidden with a tapestry. Idiot I sprinted through it, barely seeing. This had better lead to the back entrance of the two rooms. If it didn’t I was running towards nothing. My hand felt hard wall. I kicked it. Again. Again. Nothing. I shifted my foot slightly to where I thought the hinge was and kicked. This was taking too long. For the love of God let Ben walk slowly. Then again, he thought he was walking towards Amelia so maybe he’d sped up I should have fired her months ago. I will, whether or not she is Ben’s wife, the role I want so much. 12

Then I fell. Into the right room, which I recognized from when my father had made me take a tour of this death trap with him Who dreams up something like this? Am I really his daughter? But I am, which I know from too much experience. There are two doors, one leading to Amelia and one to the tiger. Each door had a drawing of what it held inside. A key dangled below each drawing. Thank God for bad security and my father, who is so convinced that he is invincible.13

Grabbing and nearly dropping the key, I showed it into the lock. First twisting it the wrong way, than the right one. The door flung open. I staggered into the empty room.14

Ben is fine.15

I am not. 16