I looked up at my father, my small hand wrapped around his middle and index fingers.1
"What do you want to go on next?" He asked. I looked around the big amusement park. I was going to point to the merry-go round when I saw a boy with his mom. He was about my age, five or six. He was dragging his mother towards a large ride that had twists and turns, flips and loops, and was colored in bright blue paint.2
"I wanna go on that one!" I said in my squeaky five-year old voice.3
"The Hurricane?" My daddy asked. "That's a scary ride. Why don't you wait until your older?" 4
"No! I wanna go NOW!" I yelled.5
"Okay. Come on," he said and led me towards the ride. We got in line behind the boy and his mother. I tapped him on his shoulder. He spun around, his long black hair whipping at his face as he did.6
I smiled my sweetest smile, and said, "Hi! I'm Kaitlyn."7
"Hi," he replied. "My name's Drew."8
"Wanna be friends?"9
"Sure!" He said and grabbed my hand. He held it the rest of the time we were in line. We sat together on the roller coaster. 10
It was the first time that I had ever been on one. I ducked my head under my hands in fear the whole time, but I could hear Drew yelling with joy next to me.11
When the roller coaster was over, Drew asked me if I wanted to get a hot dog with him. I had never had a hot dog before. I looked up at my dad with my most pleading, sweetest eyes I could make. He sighed and nodded. I smiled in victory.12
My dad and Drew's mom talked while we sat together eating hot dogs. The hot dog was so good. Ketchup and mustard covered my chin and mouth as I shoved the last piece of meat and bread into my tiny mouth. "Mmm."13
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~10 YEARS LATER~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~14
Drew stood in the doorway wearing a pair of jeans, a blue oxford shirt, and a fancy brown jacket. "I'd like permission to date your daughter." He said. "Sir." He added quickly afterwards.15
Daddy looked him up and down. "Fine," he replied grudgingly. Drew unsuccesfully hid the smile that crept over his face. Ten years later and the two of us were still friends. I ran and hugged my dad tight before running out of the front door. I grabbed Drew's hand as I did so and dragged him to the car.16
He opened the passenger door for me before walking over to the driver's seat. We arrived at he theater shortly. 17
"What do you want to see?" He asked. I shrugged. He pointed to a movie that I had been dying to see, but didn't think he would have an interest in. "How about this one?" He asked.18
"Since when are you into sappy love stories?" This time he shrugged, but immediately I knew why he chose that one. I ahd told him earlier this week I wanted to see it. 19
When we were in our seats inside the theater, he leaned towards me. His breath lingered on my lips.20
"I've wanted to do this since the day I met you in line for the roller coaster," he said before leaning down to kiss me. I had heard my friends talking about the sensation of kissing, but had never experienced it for myself. The passion of the kiss, the love that I felt. But, maybe it wasn't truly love. It was probably a crush. But either way, at that moment, everything was perfect.21
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SEVEN YEARS LATER~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~22
I stared in both fear and excitement as I watched him drop to his knee. He began digging through his coat pocket in frustration. But the frustration soon cleared as he pulled his hand from the coat pocket holding a small square box. I bit my bottom lip as I watched him open the box and face it towards me. I saw the glint of diamond set on a gold ring.23
Before he had a chance to say the question I nodded and hugged him. In response he kissed me. More passionately than ever. 24
"But, what if-" I started when he pulled away. "What if we'er like those other couples. The ones who only love each other for a couple of years. The ones who end up hating each other?"25
"We aren't the other couples," he stated simply. "We are us. Not them. And we'll be together. Always, and forver."
Author notes
i wrote this really fast. i'm not sure if it's any good or not so please give me some feed back!
3 firsts:
first roller coaster ride
first kiss
first love
A contest entry
- Firsts by Eddie.
350 points, ended January 3, 18 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - The Commentless by Atticus Unanimous.
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• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Aw, so cute! Thanks for entering and good luck.
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This is nice. Very mushy. You start out with a creative setting but it quickly falls back to cliché. Announcing the time frame with astericks and whatnot seems a bit unneccesarry. You tell us how many years have passed through your character's thoughts. Anyway, it's a good start.


