Conscious reeling1
The world is spinning2
Spin baby, spin3
Bile rises in my throat4
5
Hands on my torso6
Searching and ripping7
Spin baby, spin8
I turn around9
10
Open your eyes11
A voice in my ear12
Spin baby, spin13
My clothes are off14
15
Down my face16
Saline runs rampant17
Spin baby, spin18
A hand over my lips19
20
I stand bare21
Pushed up to the wall22
Stay still, baby23
And my screams are gone24
25
Skin aflame26
Blood down my sides27
Stay still, baby28
His voice is over me29
30
Explosions31
White32
Crippling33
Falling34
A arm pulling me35
It's all right, baby36
Comes the voice37
38
Can't breathe39
Can't see40
It's all right, baby41
Limbs go limp42
Body against mine43
Strangled by air44
Or by his hands45
46
It's not all right47
Is it, baby?48
The voice again49
My knees buckle50
And I fall into51
Darkness
Author notes
I don't usually write poetry, which explains the lack of stanzas..and..stuff. I hope I got something good though, even if it is a little dark (and maybe not what you're looking for.)
A contest entry
- Maii Contest! by Rain4Life.
120 points, ended January 27, 22 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - poetry by trekkergirl.
175 points, ended December 10, 2008, 93 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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This was amazing. It flowed beautifully, exceptionally well. I cannot write poetry at all, but this reminded me very much of a poem we studied at school, called Limbo, at least in pace and rhythm. It was beautiful, and the repetition of 'baby' was stunning. Really amazing piece, you must keep writing! I felt so sad at this. It was so simple and yet so powerful as to be stunning. It had an almost haunting tune. Amazing work, and keep writing! Beautiful
.
~Luck~
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definitely dark... but that does not make it bad either. I rather like this one. I like the repeated words. Definitely worked for me. I liked the way it flowed. Stanza's are good yes, but this flowed just as well without it. You kept a good pace with this one. I like it. I really do. Thanks for sharing this with us and thanks for entering it into my contest.
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Wow.... This was.... Wow!
I loved it!
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