When you're all alone and no one's around
When you're in the dark and there is no sound
When all that's around you is a mirror of the dark
Can you face yourself for who you really are?
Or will you turn away from what you are?1
People live their lives with ambitions hidden
And virtually no one will ever know the real you, given
We hide our selves to protect our hearts
But all deceptions become known in the dark2
What we really are is rarely pleasant
And most of us hide it from even ourselves
We'd rather run away and ignore what we are
But all deceptions become known in the dark3
Althrough the alibis and lies we weave
Our true selves never change, as we strangly believe
Ignorant people will go to many lengths near and far
But all deceptions become known in the dark4
You can change your appearance and how you act towards others
But your true self remains the same through all of your brothers
So the best thing you can do is try to accept and live with this scar
Since all deceptions become known in the dark5
When you're all alone and no one's around
When you're in the dark and there is no sound
When all that's around you is a mirror of the dark
Can you face yourself for who you really are?
Or will you turn away from what you are?
Author notes
I thought of this... A long time ago...
A contest entry
- Prewrites, Rain, love,hate, poems, Milk...chips...turkey..man im so hungry! Twisted tales...Cheese...IM HUNGRY OKAY! by Dawn Bon.
150 points, ended December 1, 2008, 16 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Realistic fiction by Forgotten Anomaly.
1050 points, ended December 23, 2008, 36 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Poetry Contest look and see by Riftkin.
350 points, ended November 27, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Poems by KiwiGurl.
100 points, ended December 14, 2008, 21 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Poetry!!(: by Artificial.Smiles..
180 points, ended January 2, 41 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Depressing poetry by try2changeme.
125 points, ended February 3, 54 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Poems by kissedbyan angel.
115 points, ended January 16, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Deep Waters by InksterMoxy.
475 points, ended January 19, 37 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - For Members Fourteen Or Under Only. by Andy Stephenson.
1750 points, ended March 12, 35 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
... Reflection?
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Good God Poe can create nothing like this. This is the best poem I have read. A master of master peices. Kenpai Kenpai!!!
In short a poem for god himself!!!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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I very good poem. Thanks for entering and good luck in all of the contest.
Brooke
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interesting and a bit different subject for a poem.
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Thanks, Tonia. I thought of this while I stared at myself in a mirror. Then I asked myself, "Is this really me?"
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congrads you made the finals
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Thank you so very much, Sunflowergirl!
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I loved it! It was very deep, making you look further.
Good Luck in my contest! -
Very dark, indeed. Very descriptive!~ I love it, Rin!~
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I really don't read dark poems, but this one kind of grabbed me. I like the opening and ending paragraph. You are good at this, so keep writing!
-kiwi -
Not sure it this is devotion or charity.
It is a good poem though.
Riftkin
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OMG WOW!~!
THAT WAS TOTALLY SWEET!!! LOVED IT!
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Well I didn't say no poetry so...
Alright, the poem. There is one line that bugs me:
But your true self remains the same through all of your brothers (brother? how does your true self remain through your brothers?)
I do however rather like the concept of this and I really like the repetition you utalized. Its a very good poem, except that one pesky line.
Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
Phoenix -
I liked it alot
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Thanks, Dawn!
*tries not to sound perverted or anything* ... You're pretty. XD
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Very nice, the mirror idea is what made this poem really stand out.
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Clumsy, why did you think it sucked? It was amazing, seriously. I liked how you used the same line in almost every verse. I really liked this! Keep it up! You're a great poet!
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Ignore that ridiculous comment made by Clumsy, Rin.
I think this is a good new take on the ideas of deception - granted, the 'mirror' symbol has been overused many times - but adding the extra eerieness of it being "in the dark" almost re-invents the theme.. I found this poem intruiging.
Good emphasis with the repetition of your main contention, too! Effective
Be glad you posted this
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Sucks
sorrybeginning: 1, language: 1, plot: 1, ending: 1, dialog: 1, characters: 1.
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good story!
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YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nee-chan i hawven't talkied to yaz in foweva!!!!
I wovey the pwetty poem!!!
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