Chapter 22: Decisions, Decisions

Nathan was in his tower making a list of supplies he was short of for his servant to retrieve. He knew he was getting low on dragon scale and wanted to check the rest of his supplies. He was about to pull a jar half full of chicken feathers off the shelf, when a violent knock pounded on her door.1

“Nathan, open up!” the voice gasped.2

Nathan sighted and put his pen and parchment down on his desk.3

“Come on, Nathan,” the voice pushed.4

He flung the door wide open, irritated, to find a red faced Krissa panting. “Alright, Krissa, what is it this time?”5

“Tasan is asking for you,” she panted, “she says it’s about Larissa.”6

“Larissa?” he narrowed his eyes, “what has she done now?”7

“I don’t know,” Krissa admitted as the two started to descend down the stairs, “But Tasan says to hurry.”8

She didn’t have to tell him twice. He was already down the stairs and out before she could catch her breath. Nathan reached the hospital with Krissa trailing behind.9

Tasan was at the far wall attending a wiggling child on one of the beds. Nathan soon recognized the child was Larissa and immediately ran to her side.10

“What happened?”11

Tasan looked up, “I don’t know. I found her in her room.” The Queen swallowed, “she asked me earlier to bring her a sleeping tonic so her dreams would be less painful. When I knocked on her door she didn’t answer so I went in thinking she had gone out, but she hadn’t. And there she was on the floor. I brought her here before contacting Krissa.”12

Nathan felt the girl’s forehead, “she’s warm. She must be fighting some sort of pain,” as soon as he said the words Larissa changed form. Nathan’s hand retreated.13

Larissa had changed into a duck. A few seconds later she changed again this time into a wolf. A few more seconds and she was a beaver.14

“I don’t understand,” Krissa asked confused, “how can she keep changing like that?”15

Nathan didn’t answer. When Larissa had changed back to her human form, he quickly felt around Larissa’s neck for the small trinket. It wasn’t there. He searched her pockets, but it wasn’t there either. Where is it?16

“The medallion is missing,” he finally stated watching Larissa change from a cat to a bear to her human form. He sighed and put a hand to her cheek and lightly fingered down her face, neck, and arm until he reached her hand. He took it in his hand and gently feeling her smooth hands and fingers. 17

He turned it over to do the same to her palm, but something caught his eye. A dark shape was imprinted on the palm on the girl’s hand. Nathan lightly traced the shape and immediately it glowed gold.18

“Oh no!” he whispered more to himself, but the two women could also hear him. “It can’t be!”19

“What’s wrong?” Nathan was so deep in thought that he didn’t even look up so see who asked the question.20

He sighed, “From what the magic tells me… The last time Larissa tried to shape-shift she must have held the medallion too tight which forced the medallion to fade into her skin. At this point in her magic she has no control over it.”21

“Is there anything we can do to help her?” Krissa asked.22

Tasan shook her head, “I can’t heal magic or anything of the sort…”23

“Tasan,” Nathan got to his feet, “she’s not there physically or magically. Her magic is taking her inside her mind. If she doesn’t come back to her senses soon she will die!”24

“Nathan,” the queen argued, “I have no control over this any more than you do.”25

“Is there another way?” Krissa almost sounded desperate.26

Nathan looked back at the changing being, “We may not be able to do anything, but Larissa may. Right now her mind is between animal minds and her human one. Larissa has to decide which mind she really belongs in.”27

“That’s absurd!” Krissa protested, “We know where she belongs.”28

Tasan ignored her comment with a question, “are you sure?”29

“Krissa, we know where she belongs,” Nathan explained, “but she doesn’t. She has been debating with herself for quite some time now. I just hope she choose what’s best for her.”30

“Does she know?” asked Tasan.31

Nathan shook his head, “but I can take care of that.” When Larissa had changed back to her human form Nathan seized the opportunity and closed his eyes placing a glowing green hand on Larissa’s forehead.32

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In her mind Larissa was walking through a desolated place she did not know where. She wanted to get out so she walked on thinking that there was a road that led somewhere other than this no-man’s-land.34

The animal voices wouldn’t leave her alone again. No matter how hard she tried she could not get them to stop whispering what choices she could choose. In the end she just ended up more confused than before so she ignored them the best she could.35

On she walked. When she thought she couldn’t go any further, she saw a cross road going in opposite directions. The lettering on the sign, that determined right and left, was faded so Larissa couldn’t make out where she was. 36

Larissa stood there for a minute looking left then right and then left again. Still looking left she decided to turn left. She went a little ways then stopped and listened. She didn’t hear anything, no voices, animal or human. Odd she thought. She turned and went right a little ways then stopped and listened. She heard some voices, but none of them were animal. Larissa listened harder.37

A voice called out to her.38

“Nathan?” No it couldn’t be she tried to persuade her self.39

“Larissa,” the voice called again.40

Are you sure? She asked herself, the voice is quite familiar.41

“Larissa,” now she was sure it was Nathan calling her.42

“Nathan!” she called back.43

A hologram of his face started to form in front of her face. When he spoke, his voice sounded more distant than when she originally heard it.44

“Larissa,” his eyes looked hurt in some way. The picture shook a little and he continued, “Larissa, your mind is in fragments. Right now, as we speak, you are the only hope for your survival.”45

Larissa was listening intently and nodded, but she was a little bit confused at his words.46

“You are in between,” he seemed like he was out of breath. He took a breath and continued, “You are in between…your magical mind and… your human mind. The thoughts that determine that you belong to one or the other…” he paused for what seemed like forever.47

He rolled his head back catching his breath again. He looked like he was having a hard time breathing correctly. Larissa thought she could see sweat trailing down the sides of his face.48

Finally he was able to look back at her and continue what he was saying, “will change, who you are. You must choose which side you really belong.”49

“How am I to choose?” she asked scared.50

“This is your choice, Larissa,” Nathan panted, “this choice will determine who you really are.”51

“But what if I choose poorly?” she asked.52

He took a deep breath then replied, “Then I am honored that I got the chance to know you. I am very proud of you no matter what you choose.”53

The image started to fade, but Larissa could still hear his voice that was trailing.54

“Nathan, wait,” she pleaded.55

“My time is up,” was all his reply.56

When the image had completely disappeared, Larissa could hear him whisper one last phrase, “I love you.”57

Larissa was confused. She didn’t know how she would choose. She enjoyed her connection with animals. When she had run away, the human world seemed so far away. Her conversations with Nina made her feel like she was needed elsewhere. Nina was her dearest companion. If she remained human, she would never get any responses from Nina. She will no longer be able to her the horses thoughts.58

But she missed Nathan the most. She had loved him since the say she had walked into her shop. He opened the magical world to her. He taught her how to control her magic, make her believe in herself. He could be heartbroken if she chose animals over him.59

But there was the joy of shape-sifting, the ability to shape her body into an animal. When she could change her appearance, Nathan was quite proud of her. Every time she thought of how much magic she had learned from Nathan, her thoughts turned back to the mage.60

My mind changed focus. What about Krissa? What could she do without Larissa? The only reason why Larissa hired on with the horse mistress was because the girl was good with horses. Soon they became good friends. How could Krissa survive her work without Larissa and her magic? What about Tasan and William? She had been most helpful when she had her magic. Will the Kingdom be crippled if she pulled back?61

It was a win loose situation and still she could not decide. Her questions made her sick with worry. She wanted to be around animals, but that would mean choosing to be just one when she wanted to be different animals. She also wanted to be human. If she didn’t, she would miss her friends she had come to know so well.62

Larissa took a deep breath and made her decision. She went right until a white light took hold of her, but she kept going.63

Open your eyes.64

A voice said in her head. Slowly she opened her eyes and was greeted with a smile.65

“Welcome back,” Tasan said pulling her head back to inform a small group that had gather in the infirmary.66

Larissa put a arm over her eyes to shield herself from the bright light over her. She closed her eyes for a minute letting the dizziness pass more quickly. Voices talked to her, but they didn’t register in her mind. She peeled back her arm and rolled her head over to her right side looking around.67

Krissa was sitting in a chair looking at her with much concern. She looked beyond the horse mistress at Nathan and William who were discussing something. Larissa’s guess was more magic. The girl rolled her head over to the left and saw Tasan was sitting holding the girl’s hand. Larissa was too weak to resist her touch. Behind Tasan, stood a girl with the queen’s splitting image. Princess Moranna smiled.68

Larissa blinked slowly a few times, but she wasn’t quite ready to fall asleep. William and Nathan finally had noticed that she was a wake and came over to see her.69

“How you feeling?” the mage asked. His eyes looked tired as if he had not slept in quite some time.70

“Tired,” Larissa replied, “and a bit sick, but it will pass. You look as I feel.”71

“I will be all right,” he replied, simply, “I just worried about you.”72

“I’ll be fine,” she said.73

“I have clearly underestimated you, my dear,” William said.74

The girl nodded which made her head hurt. She closed her eyes and waited for the sickness to pass. She heard Tasan shooing the on lookers out so Larissa could get some rest. She opened her eyes long enough to see four figures being ushered out the door. Larissa smiled to herself as she yawned and closed her eyes and did not fight the current of sleep.75

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Larissa slept for the rest of the day. She woke two days later in the afternoon. She felt better than she had in a while. She sat up and stretched her muscles. Tasan come in with a set of clothes for Larissa and a tray of food.77

The girl dressed and ate before she left the infirmary and ventured down the corridors to Nathan’s tower. She climbed the stair and put her ear to the wooden door. She listened to Nathan mixing ingredients and making loud booming noises as he mixed the wrong ingredients. She smiled to herself. She had missed that noise. It was music to her ears.78

Within another loud boom came a low rumble as the tower began to shake. Larissa made some effort to balance her self without making any noise. Once balanced, she listened again. A faint singing started from behind the door. The words were rearranged and the notes were out of key. Larissa backed away from the door as Nathan’s singing began louder and louder as he started a new song or maybe it was a new verse. She couldn’t tell. Clearly something inside of him had awakened and was happy that she was alive and human.79

Larissa sighed and continued her little excursion out to the stables. She visited with Nina for a little bit even though she couldn’t respond it was still nice to talk to her. She finished with a light brushing and bucket of oats before settling the mare and cantered into town. She dismounted Nina and walked freely among the villagers, watching them pass, buying and selling their goods. She grew envious of them. They had no idea what she had just been through.80

The girl pulled Nina down an ally way unnoticed by everyone. She felt so alone without her magic. She was desperate to do anything but feel unwanted, so useless. Half of her wanted to shape-shift and just run from her problem, but she had to remember that she no longer had that power. She looked down at her hands palms up. One of her hands, she noticed, had a faded dark shape on it. Larissa recognized it as the imprint of the medallion, but the trinket wasn’t there. She closed her eyes for a second and a tear slid down her cheek. The girl shook her head and wiped the tear away.81

She mounted Nina and took a side passage back to the main road where she went back to the palace to hide within its walls. She didn’t stop until she had reached her room.82

Larissa sat on her bed looking out the window which was opened just a little bit. She couldn’t here anything, except the sweet melodies of the birds. She sighed. She couldn’t here them. No more voice other than the one that determined that she was human. Larissa kind of missed the voices. They made her feel somewhat special. What she really missed was shape-shifting. Oh it was freedom to just take off as an animal without a care in the world. But she made the choice.83

In a way she was kind of happy that she didn’t have to deal with all the magic. The tingling feeling of wanting to shape-shift, it felt awkward to not have to feel it ever again. She closed her eyes and a tear slid down her cheek. She missed the magic more than she thought.84

A knock came at her door, but she didn’t move. She opened her eyes to see Nathan taking a seat on the bed next to her.85

“Are you going to be alright?” he asked softly.86

She wiped her cheeks and nodded. “It just feels different, not having magic,” she said taking a deep breath.”87

He took her in his arms. “It will be alright, you see,” he said comforting her. “You will get use to life without magic all over again. Just think of it as a new start of life.”88

“Not quite,” she said containing her tears, “for the last few years I have grown adjusted to life with magic. Now I just don’t know if I can go back to life without it.”89

“You were doing fine before,” he pointed out.90

“But that was before all this,” she said, “before my parents died, before all the lessons, before all the madness.”91

He moved his face in behind her ear and whispered; “now we can’t have that now can we?”92

She looked up at him and he smiled, which made her smile. He leaned in and kissed her softly, magic long forgotten.