by Geri Fitzsimmons & Andy Stephenson1
Desk Sergeant Patrick Moran looked up at the sound of the doors swinging in. The weary frown that settled on his young face after seven hours of responding to the City’s problems lifted and he grinned. He watched Detective Sergeant Joseph Farley step lively through the officer’s gate at the side of the metal detector into the hallowed housing of the 61st precinct. “You working for a promotion?” he said.2
“Time waits for no one,” Joe answered. He picked up the next shift’s duty roster and scanned it. “When Hamlin and Hayes report in send them to my office. In the meantime call up any suicides of young women in the last three months.”3
“In all five boroughs?”4
“We’ll start there. Send their files through to my office. As soon as the clock strikes seven, call Detective Benson at the 66th and patch him through to me.”5
Twenty-five-year-old Moran watched the receding backside of the middle-aged officer and silently mouthed, “Screw it.” There was no out loud complaint as he attacked his keyboard. He thought, ‘Not even sixty minutes left and Farley’s got to put me to work. Just ‘cause the bastard has no life—he assumes nobody else does.’ 6
A few minutes later Joe Farley was at his desk, sipping coffee and starting to read the statements he’d called up from the Baine file.7
It had been Beverly Oleander’s birthday and though she and Michelle Baine were not really close any more, they had lunch on their birthdays. It was unlike Michelle not to have called or written if she couldn’t make it. 8
Desk Sergeant: When did you talk to her last?9
Beverly: A week ago Monday, she called me to confirm the date. When she didn’t show yesterday I called a couple of times and got no answer. So I took this morning off and went to her place. Something just didn’t seem right so I’m calling the police. 10
A squad car had been sent to check on Ms. Michelle Baine. The two patrolmen had been unable to gain access to the apartment.11
Meanwhile Detective Benson of the 66th had called Michelle’s work place and discovered she hadn’t shown up nor called in. This was completely unlike their conscientious employee.12
The order went out, ‘Open the door.’ 13
Detective Sergeant Joe Farley had no problem sitting at his desk and conjuring up the scenario that took place in Michelle’s apartment when her body was found. Years of experience made him an expert. 14
The patrolmen rousted the Apartment Manger from his bed and together they entered Michelle’s domicile. 15
They entered the small front room. There was nothing in disarray—rather it was meticulously clean and neat. 16
“Nothing wrong here, Miss Baine must have taken off for a few days.”17
“Think you’re right.” One patrolman answered the apartment manger. He could see the fellow was nervous about invading a rental property. “Pete,” he said to his partner. “You check the bedroom. I’ll give the kitchen and bath the once over. We’ll be out of here in five, Mr. Atkins.”18
Pete moved quickly down the small hall. “Nothing! Bed’s still made,” he called back just as the other patrolman stepped across the threshold of the kitchen.19
The door on the cheap clock swung open at the sound of a single gong, but the little plastic bird didn’t come out. No one noticed.20
The officer cursed, “Son of a bitch!” and knelt down carefully to check the pulse at the artery of Michelle’s neck. “Call in a 169,” he said to his partner. “She’s dead. Looks like suicide.” 21
22
Everything certainly points to suicide, Joe Farley thought as he downed another coffee and finished the M.E.’s report.23
He let the phone buzz a couple of times before he picked up. "Detective Farley," he said into the receiver.24
"Hi Joe, Benson here. What can I do for you?"25
"You handled the investigation of Michelle Baine's death? Were there any unusual circumstances?"26
"Baine…No," Benson answered. "Suicide, plain and simple. Everything seemed straight up. Was there something we missed?"27
"Probably not. Would you mind walking me through the scene this afternoon?"28
"Something's got your curiosity going. Want to tell me what you've got?"29
"Nothing really," answered Farley. "Just a feeling."30
"Ah. I've heard about your hunches. Would 2:00 pm work for you?"31
"That’ll be great. I'll meet you at her apartment."32
Joe disconnected and returned to his computer. In three months in the five boroughs there had been fifteen women’s deaths ruled as suicides. Twelve were young women who had apparently overdosed, four from cocaine, one from a common type of sleeping pill and seven listed as substance unknown. 33
Joe dialed the medical examiner's office and a bright cheerful voice answered, "Janet Marshall, M. E’s office. May I help you?"34
"Hi Janet, Joe Farley, PD 61, got a question for you. There have been seven suicides recently in which the cause has been listed as substance unknown. Would it be possible for you to retest evidence samples and see if we might be able to identify the drugs? Or see how many were the same drug?"35
"I can't make you any promises, but we can try. What are their case numbers?"36
Joe gave her the case numbers, thanked her, and rang off as his door rattled slightly from a rap.37
Detectives Hamlin and Hayes walked up to Joe's desk. Hamlin held a can of Dr. Pepper in his hand. "You wanted to see us?" asked Hamlin almost too casually. Hamlin was young for a detective and Joe felt that he didn't show appropriate respect for his position yet.38
That caused a bite to enter Joe’s voice. "I have some work for you. I want you to go to the Crisis Center and get a list of callers for the last six months. Then compile a list for me of those who actually committed suicide. I also want a comparison made up and referenced with the callers who were referred by KJAB to the Crisis Line."39
"Not enough murders in the city, and you want us to look into suicides?" Hamlin sounded incredulous.40
Joe’s gray eyes turned ash color as he stared him to silence and Hayes said, "Never mind him Sarge, is there anything else?" 41
"No, that should do it for now."42
Detective Hamlin dared no more than a mumble under his breathe as they left.43
44
At 2:00 pm Farley and Benson met at Michelle Baine's apartment. "It's going to be another hot one," said Benson.45
"It's all the concrete and asphalt," remarked Farley. "It just traps the heat."46
After the police had released the apartment, believing Michelle's death to be a suicide, the apartment was returned to the care of the manager. Farley silently hoped that her things had not been disturbed. He got a reprieve. 47
"I'm going to have to move her things into storage if someone doesn't show up to claim them soon," said the manager.48
"We've notified next of kin," said Benson. "They are coming in from Maine. They should be in touch with you."49
"So, nothing's been touched since the body was discovered?" asked Farley. 50
"No, honestly I don't look forward to it and the rent was paid to the end of the month."51
"Well, let us in, if you would," said Benson. "We want another look around."52
"Sure thing."53
The manager opened the door and left.54
"She was found lying on the floor by the dinette table,” began Benson as he motioned towards the chalked image on the floor. "The unlabeled prescription bottle, which contained the drug was next to her on the floor. It had only her fingerprints."55
Wearing latex gloves, the two detectives moved carefully around the apartment. "Nothing appears out of order or missing," offered Benson. “There were no signs of a struggle or that anyone else was here.”56
"She was extremely neat," observed Joe.57
In the kitchen on the counter was a cup holder. There were two empty spaces. “The cup she had been drinking from had broken when she fell and had been bagged and removed for evidence,” Benson said when Farley remarked on it.58
Joe opened each of the two cupboard doors. In one, with bowls, plates, and drinking glasses, was a lone coffee mug. He bagged it to take back to the station to be printed.59
"You think that cup has some significance?" asked Benson.60
"It just seems out of place. Michelle didn’t put things out of place."61
They continued the search. In the hall closet they located three neatly packed boxes labeled ‘Hal’ in magic marker. Inside one they found a few movies, DVDs, some CDs, a laptop. One held only a heavy jean jacket and another some men’s clothing.62
“Odds and ends,” Joe said. “Must belong to an ex. Did you check out her romantic interests?”63
“Naturally. She had a boyfriend living here for a few months. Guess he wasn’t the friendly type, neighbors say he must have moved out—they hadn’t seen him in weeks. None of them knew his name.”64
“Hal…I‘d say,” Joe made a mental note to find out more about him. 65
The cheap little clock on the wall sang twice, Joe glanced at it. The door opened but nothing came out. Joe stepped over to it. There was an empty arm that slid back in as the door closed.66
Farley and Benson returned to their respective precincts. Joe dropped the cup off at forensics. 67
A few hours later when Joe was deep in his hunt for Hal, Forensics called to say that there were absolutely no prints on the cup. That seemed especially odd to Joe.
In a list
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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overly awsome XD
Another awsome chapter. I am really enjoying this. It takes a good crime book to get me hooked. I can not wait to read more...I shopuld be caught up to the seventh chapter bye toimorrow o.o...and will most liklyread a head XD.
Keep up the good work.
Karissa.
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Hi Karissa!
I'm very pleased you like this chapter. Who are your favorites characters, so far?
We're glad that it's entertaining you. We do hope to sell it.
Andy
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I love Neil.....and I will buy it!
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That's great!
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Hey Geri and Andy,
I really thought I'd already commented on this chapter. Evidently not. I see there has already been plenty of editing and I have nothing to add. I'm enjoying this collaboration, you two are doing a wonderful job of story telling.
Steve
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"Let the rains fall. A Sunday morning with nasty weather...I
it."
Good Morning, Steve. Thanks for keeping us on the board
. I swear either we are just toooo goood or no one wants to bother 
telling us otherwise.
Of course it is the toooo gooood I'm sure
.
*starswars* Geri
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Hi Steve!
It appears you didn't comment on it here before, but Geri has it posted through chapter eight in her account and you've read it before as Secret Radio Murders and that's posted in both of our accounts as well.
I've very glad that you feel we're doing well. We're nearing the end of the first draft.
Andy
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Detailed
I love how you can picture yourself there. This has so much detail. I love how you got to see the file he was reading.!
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Hello there, EE!
How is you this day?
Geri is very good at making the scenes seem real. She takes what I give her and gives it real life!
Thanks for continuing to read us.
Andy
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I don't like the last sentence of the last paragraph- it doesn't seem right to end off the chapter. Not the content, the way it's written. I got one of those weird feelings from it. Perhaps something like "Odd," Joe thought, (and either he puts it out of mind, depending on what comes next chapter, or he stores it away, deciding it's something important)
But that's just my thoughts on it, goes along with the oft sung "show don't tell" -
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Hmm?
I'm not quite certain what you're meaning about the last sentence. Like this:
[A few hours later when Joe was deep in his hunt for Hal, Forensics called to say that there were absolutely no prints on the cup. 'Odd,' thought Joe.]
Andy
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Yes, that seems like it would work better, but still seems too short and sharp for an ending. I feel like there needs to be a bit of action, he needs to do something with the feeling that it was odd, even if that something is forgetting he even had the feeling that it was odd.
Like, along the lines of- ["Odd," thought Joe, filing that piece of information away for future reference] or ["Odd," thought Joe, a frown furrowing his brow as he turned back to the pile of reports and promptly forgot all about the mug]. Either direction works, depending on what will happen with this piece of information in the future, but that way something happens and the chapter ends more definitively.
That also gets rid of the word especially, which makes this piece of information jump out too much, but doesn't downplay what I originally suspected might have been one of his clues that there was another person with Michelle during her death. I'm not sure anymore if anything happens with the fingerprintless mug, but if it is important, like it's placement at the end of the chapter suggests, then readers shouldn't feel like they're being forcefed the clue, which is how the last sentence, as it currently is, feels to me.
You might be able to see that I pretty much deal in abstracts at times. I'm sorry I'm not better able to explain what I mean!
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I've been looking forward to reading some more and you haven't disappointed. Finally, the detective starts doing some work on Michelle's death, it's starting to heat up I suspect. I do like slow burners that turn into irresistable reads, this was really interesting and my imagination ran wild with the forensics part and the two experienced detectives roaming around the apartment. Very Heat-esque that lol.
Mike
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Hi Mike!
It seems that I missed your comment here
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Thanks for reading this chapter and for commenting and applauding. I appreciate it.
I'm not sure where you left off, but we hope to have you back again. We're nearing the end of the first draft.
Andy
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Brilliant!!! This is well thought-out. You're right, the officers would have probably missed the significance of the coffee mug the first time around, but the more experienced detective would have caught it. Wonderful plot.
I loved hearing the involvement of the M.E., too many writers leave that part out, and the forensics lab finding no prints was not unheard of, especially given with the perp's patterns so far.
For future reference, if you'd like help fleshing out any of the forensic details, I've job shadowed in a crime lab (and interned for the District Attorney for that matter) and I'm fairly handy with crime scene investigation as well as processing in the lab. Gotta love super-heated super glue.
Keep up the great work! -
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Hi!
I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter.
We appreciate your offer of assistance with the forensic details. We may take you up on it as we prepare future chapters of the second draft.
Andy
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I read the prologue and Chapter 1 a few days ago, and finally got a chance to read more. Just made my way through the first few chapters and am still enjoying it =) Nice work, both of you.
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Hi!
Thanks for reading us! We really appreciate that. We're currently working to prepare this to send to an agent. We've been writing this novel for the past year. This is the second draft. We'll be posting more of it next week.
Andy
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Dear God. I loved the son of a bitch part! lol! it was fun-nee!
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Thanks!
Thanks for reading this far. I'll try to catch up on yours soon. We hope that you will continue with our story.
Andy
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Not my kind of reading usually, but well written and easy enough to identify with the characters. There was enough dialog to keep the story going and interesting.
Technical critique.
Paragraph 21 -
The officer cursed, “Son of a bitch!” and knelt down carefully to test the beat in the artery of Michelle’s neck. “Call in a 169,” he said to his partner. “She’s dead. Looks like suicide.”
That sentence needs to have: 'checked for a pulse.' Any medical professional or former law enforcement will cringe if you leave in: 'test the beat.'
# 37 the second half of the sentence doesn't make sense:
and rang off as his door rattled slightly from a rap.
Those were the only things that stood out to me. Hope it helps.
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Thanks Alan
Thanks for reading, commenting, and applauding. We appreciate it. Thanks also for the corrections.
What sort of stories do you usually read?
Andy
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Again, another excellent addition to this story. Very well written, and the details were quite vivid. You two are definitely masters of the art of writing. Great work, and thanks for sharing. Keep writing!
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Cory, thanks so much for reading and the great comments.
When you don't find any goofs--being this is the second draft, it means just as much as when you found them in the first draft
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Hope you had a grand holiday and it carries over into the New Year for you
Geri
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Thanks Cory
Thanks for reading and commenting. We appreciate it. We're very glad that you like this chapter.
Andy
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Geri scratching her head bald
. Hi Andy I wanted some comment here--I thought maybe you and 'Meself' were being punished.
Oh well must be holiday cheer.
Andy--oops Geri.
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Brlliant
I just finished reading the last two. I put it off for a while coz I was trying to find out why I didn't like your killer. I figured it out!!
I was expecting blood guts and gore. You know the prologue was so violent. But I really like this version more. He is more intelligent not just a killing machine. almost the perfect crime if you think about it. wonder how you catch a guy like this.
Very very well written!!!
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Well,
Joseph Farley is beginning to wonder about it himself. This book is about catching the killer with a major focus on Farley and Dr. Neil Harris. I hope you enjoy the chase.
The crimes almost weren't discovered. However, if nobody had noticed, we wouldn't have a story.
Thanks very much for reading, commenting, and all the applause. We should have another chapter up soon.
If you get impatient, you can read the first draft. We're up to chapter 34 in it, but we're making some changes in the second draft. The story won't be quite the same.
Andy
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