What We Were

I stared at my apartment window, and I saw her beautiful face. She was holding a maroon colored umbrella to protect her from the rain. Oh, how I missed her. She was my ex- girlfriend, and I missed her so much. Her beautiful, long, brown hair fell down her coat as she stood there at the bus stop. My best friend Angelo tried to convince me to get back with her, but I refused. She probably was furious at me for hanging out with some girl at the movies. Pretty dumb on my part! 1

I was so bored that Saturday afternoon that I was staring out the window at my ex- girlfriend. Pretty sad. But I missed her. I missed the way she smiled, I missed the way she laughed, and I definitely missed the way she kissed. We were way better off together, but TWO weeks ago, she dumped me. "I'm sorry, Eric," she told me, holding my hand. "I saw you with that girl last night, and even though I'd love to believe you, I can't. So I guess we're breaking up." Then with a snap, she walked out of my life. I didn't even get word in, not even a "wait." It wouldn't have mattered, because she would have completely ignored me, anyways. 2

So there I was, staring out my bedroom window, overlooking the sight of my ex girlfriend, standing in the rain. I sighed and opened my window. "Makayla!" I screamed out my window. Fortunatly, she turned around and waved, but she gave me one of those stupid friend smiles. We were officially over, and then I realized what we were. We were more than boyfriend- girlfriend, and we more than friends. We were best friends. Even though you think this story ends sad, it kind of does, kind of not. Because then I realized memories were all I could think of with us together, and that made me smiled. So I stared at her out the window, and the city bus pulled up. She walked in the bus, closed her umbrella, and waved. Oh, what we were was great.3

Author notes

This really isn't based on me, but I guess it could a little bit.

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Rose Hathaway
    January 25

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    What a great story! Short, simple and straight to the point. For such a quick iece you have definitely done your job. Thankyou for entering.


  • LoneWriter
    November 23, 2008

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    Sorry I didn't comment on this earlier, but, I'm here Now!!!!

    So I'll start with the cons:
    I was so bored that Saturday afternoon that I was staring out the window at my ex- girlfriend: I don't this sentence was really nessesary in the second paragraph because we already know what was going on. I would have liked a little bit more emotion coming from the caracters, and the way they broke up seemed so sudden, and a little unrealistic. I would have been better if Makayla added a little more detail of how she felt that her now ex was with another girl hile they dated.

    Now for the sugar and sprinkles
    I love how he's just staring out the window, mesmerizing her. And how she's just living her days normaly and probably not noticing she's being watched half the time. It's romantic that he wants her back and that he pays attention to the detailing of er hair and such. This was really beautiful, great job!

    ~LoneWriter

    P.S.: I know looking at this it seems like there are more problems with the story than there are on how good it is, but don't let that discourage you! It is very well based and I love the ending especially, but it just needs a little bit of touching up. I love it, and great job!


  • angelaononchan
    November 23, 2008

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    Nice, I don't write romance stories so I don't know much about them but just nice. Well, when you talked about the girlfriend dumping you, what expression do you think she was in? Sad? Good luck in the contest.