Zero

“They were coming for him.”1

He tried to feign his interest but he just blew the cigarette smoke towards the ceiling fan, rubbing his chin idly irritated at the day’s worth of fuzz on his chin. He could have ignored it all, but for the whispers, they were driving him crazy.2

“They’re coming.”3

But that’s what happens when you make bad bargains, but then he’d been warned after all, nothing comes without a price. He hugged the arms of the chair he sat on, and took a deep drag, his hairy brows drawn together in their usual frown. It was the old man’s fault, he’d started all of this, if only he hadn’t died, then Zero wouldn’t have mad the bargain, love, it could get a guy killed.4

Of course he wasn’t innocent, he closed his eyes briefly, tried to picture her face, but it had been too long, but he could still catch a slight whiff of her perfume. She hadn’t died easily, nor had it been quick, but it had been his first time, but it was a mistake he had ever repeated, but then time had passed. He loosened his tan tie, and was grateful that he didn’t break into a sweat anymore at times like these.5

He smoked the cigarette until it was a dead stub, then took the squashed pack of Dunhill Lights from his back pocket and picked out another. He lit it with his Zippo lighter, catching a look at himself in the wall mirror by its light, his thick lips unsmiling, his nose slightly pointed and a little narrower then expected but still they were typical Black features, his eyes though, his eyes were so black that they seemed to swallow the light, he closed the lighter and the room was once more plunged into darkness.6

“They’re coming, and you can’t stop them.”7

His thoughts were particularly irritating tonight, but they were probably right, tonight the past was coming to call, and he wasn’t sure if he’d survive. But it hadn’t all been bad, he can’t have been all bad, he remembered that there were good memories, Ashley had been a beautiful one, Michelle had come close, closer than the others, but in the end, they had called him back, back to the blood, the violence, the death.8

He never thought it would come to this, but he couldn’t remember their faces like images seen through a whiskey glass, blurry images that he couldn’t seem to make out, how had it come to this? Perhaps it’d been the first time, he’d put the gun to that kid’s head even through the tears, put a bullet right between those scared brown eyes, the first and last time he’d cried for what life had given him.9

“Father.”10

He whispered as he raised his empty eyes skyward past the ceiling, through his noisy neighbors upstairs, towards heaven, but it seemed his dad was busy because he got no reply. Cigarette ashes fell all over his hands as Zero smoked ceaselessly, was this fear? He didn’t think so, he hadn’t felt that since the last time he’d been shot, like that stinging pain had cured him of all those fears. It hadn’t been easy either, but Ty had been nice, a mentor to him, never think about it, lesson one, never look at them afterwards, they’ll haunt you then, never, ever look.11

But how couldn’t you? Those eyes staring imploring, sooner or later we all look. They find Ty floating in the river, a mugging, I think they said, funny how he still had his wallet though, but I guess he forgot the first rule. But it wasn’t the rules that killed Ty, never think about it, or you might never stop thinking, and if you paused to think, then it was over, and they’d find you floating in the river, a knife still stuck in your heart.12

He wondered when he’d known that it was coming?13

“You can’t run, not this time.”14

Perhaps it was when he hesitated that last time, women and children!? That was never his thing, but then it was a little late to try for morality. That bargain, it’d cursed him, and it had been so easy to give in, but then, “the easiest way to rid yourself of temptation is to give in.”15

He hadn’t understood, even when they’d given him his name. ZERO. Like he wasn’t there, their shadow.16

He’d tried to give it all honor, you know as if he could hide it all behind fancy words. Then he heard it, the footsteps on the stairs.17

“They’re here.”18

He should have laughed, but he didn’t find it funny, he realized his cigarette was out, that it had been out for some time, so he lit another one, as he heard them just outside his door. He wondered if they’d knock, he wondered if he’d answer, but then he heard the click as someone put their clip in. Yeah it was going to be one of those nights. He took out the handgun he’d placed at his back and checked the clip, then he got out of his chair, and grabbed the shotgun off the floor.19

He pointed it towards the door and fired right into it, and wasn’t surprised to hear someone scream in pain.20

“Come and get it!”21