Sylvia

"I think I know how lightbulbs work," said Sylvia. "The wire is actually a glow worm. When you turn on the switch, the glow worm wakes up and starts glowing."1

"No, Sylvia," I said. "There are little electrons, and they pass through the little filament, or something like that."2

"You know what I think?" asked Sylvia. "I think dust mites are actually little aliens from outer space that threaten to take over the world, and no one pays attention to them because they're so small."3

"Sylvia, they're little creatures that eat your skin flakes, or something along those lines," I told her.4

"I know why your hair stands up when you rub a balloon on it," said Sylvia. "It's because of the little flying creatures on the balloon that are teeny-tiny and invisible, they grab a strand of your hair and try to fly away with it."5

"No, Sylvia," I told her. "It's because of static, those electrons again, trying to do something or other."6

It got late so Sylvia's parents paid me and I left.7

I was exhausted from Sylvia, she was an exhausting kid. I went to sleep as soon as I got home.8

I dreamed I was a balloon creature, rubbing against a hair, which I grabbed, and in the process of trying to get away with it, I got captured by dust mite aliens who took me to a glow worm lightbulb, where the headquarters were. There, we plotted to take over the world.9

"Sylvia," I said the next day, "tell me how telephones work."