the weeping willow sits1
rooted into the ground2
unable to move3
and yet content with her surroundings4
she is comfortable with this familiarity of life5
lonely at times she has taught herself to pack her feelings away6
like christmas decorations7
which are only to be taken out when they are needed8
or even when they are appropriate for others to see9
wait.......what is this??10
a passerby11
weary from his travels and unable to walk anymore12
sits under her13
hiding from the merciless rays from above14
hiding partly from the world15
unlike the willow16
he has been shown this loneliness and embraced it17
like and old friend18
he will greet it when it calls19
and weep when it does not20
the traveler falls into a deep slumber and begins to dream21
the willow is now confused22
she does not recieve many visitors23
not many people stop to see her,24
so she is scared25
scared of the unknown26
scared of his intentions27
scared of how she feels now that he needs her28
she lowers her branches and starts to cry29
suddenly a strong wind comes along30
and lifts her branches31
like the breath of life for a newborn baby32
of feeling happy for the first time33
the wind fills her34
and she feels free again35
free to love36
free to hate37
free to just be38
this feeling like so many times before would have been packed away39
forgotten40
but this is not any other time41
the willow is tired of being alone42
she loves the feeling that the tired traveler needs her43
and she loves the fact that she needs him too44
she allows the breeze to take hold45
and for the first time she knows what is truly feels like to be46
alive
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Very good. This tells a story of how everyone feels at one time or another no matter if they are a man or a woman. You give life to those who needed that breeze.
Thank you.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Soothingly beautiful..."Lonely at times she has taught herself to pack her feelings away like Christmas decorations" - gorgeous similie here. I love poems about nature and metaphors, they always make me feel so warm
A very striking write.
~ Ink
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wow. that was great. very poetic, and really deep. it was great. loved it!
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thank you..
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That was awesome, I really liked how you personify the willow into a girl, and gave her emotions. Really good job!
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Hey
I love this. It is so deep and poetic.
It has a lot of meaning behind it. Its all sorts of origional witch is good.
I love the detail and the fact that its involving, and enjoyable
keep it up
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