Unreachable

Envy... Anger... Despair... Confusion... Guilt... Lust. The feelings that course through my body when I see them together. I wish that was me. I wish I was in her shoes, but there is nothing I can do about it. I was too late, I noticed too soon, and then my chance was gone, he became unreachable. His heart stolen and locked away, and I'll never know the combination. 1

This is just so in my face, I can't escape it. And the adorability of their coupledom... it's unbearable. It hurts to see them together. They are just so happy, so perfect for one another. And I know I will never have that chance, to be perfect... with him. I always end up wanting what I can't get. Damn I wish she wasn't my friend so I could attempt to win him over. They say, just because there is a goalie, doesn't mean you can't score. But this would be like shooting on my own net, attempting to score on a team member.2

There wouldn't be a chance in hell for me to win him over either. He is completely infatuated with her. I hang around them when I can handle it. I see how he looks into her eyes. How he gently touches her in a subtle way, just because he wants to, because he needs to. How she smiles at him, her eyes glittering. How they joke together, the same humor. They can already poke fun at one another, and they already have a surplus of inside jokes.3

They are just so... cute. Everyone agrees. When there is nothing to talk about the talk always goes to them. All the girls wish that they could have a boyfriend like that. Someone who doesn't mind just wandering through a city, holding your hand. Someone who will collect your homework while you're sick and hand deliver it that evening. Someone who gets along with parents and siblings and anyone else who may come along. Someone who willingly admits to being a hopeless romantic. They all wish for this, but none, like me, wish for specifically him.4

She is one of my best friends too. We hang out and study together every once and awhile. I can sit down and tell her just about anything, and she has told me a lot in return. Thank god she gets embarrassed about talking about him, hearing the lot of that might crush me.5

Never the less, I pretend to be interested, asking her to tell me everything like any other friend would do. But she is shy about giving out facts like candy. She just smiles, blushes a deep red and looks down at her feet, saying something about not knowing where to start. That may be worse actually. It may have been better for me to know their exact happenings. All I have now is inklings of thoughts about what they may be doing. 6

Though there isn't much I can imagine my friend doing, she has an overwhelming air of innocence that is nearly tangible. We all poke fun at her for it and she often talks about the ridiculous things she will do to drop this appearance. Some of the guys make fun of him for it too but he just smiles and laughs. But he'll always stop them if it goes too far and they begin to insult her, even in play as guys often do about others guys girls. He can't stand that; he can't stand anyone harming her, physically or emotionally.7

I wish that he would tickle me the way he does her. When she is simply sitting beside him he'll stick out a lonely finger and poke the side of her stomach playfully. She just smiles, not even looking at him then subtly she'll elbow him back. Then a little ticking fight ensues, an adorable little tickling fight. Usually they end up on the floor laughing at some inside joke that one of them happened to throw out. Later in the day, onlookers will comment to her about how cute they are, and she'll just blush and play with her necklace around her neck, a necklace that he of course gave her.8

They're the kind of couple that you can see married and still doing the same things. One of those adorable married couples who still hold hands and kiss each other in public. Why oh why did I have to fall for a guy that was in a relationship like that? I try to drop him, to cut off the never ebbing flow of devotion I have toward him, but it is impossible. I must just stand here and watch them. Hoping that the impossible will happen.

Author notes

A story in which I have been in both places. From the narrator's point of view and from the other girl. I'm sure many of you can relate...

Option Three... Descriptions
"Mary Without Sound" by Motion City Soundtrack (Good song.=D )

Option Three: The Emotions.
Agony and/or Love

A contest entry

What were your feelings toward the characters in this story?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

1 - 7 of 7
  • Silver Heart
    May 13

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    outstanding

    this is fantastic!!! i love it. you can feel the emotions the girl feels. i've been in the girls shoes before, sort of. i've never really seen them being all lovey-dovey, but i understand. i think a lot of people will be able to relate. you have a great chance of winning, good luck!

    -iceblue


  • May Kingston
    May 13

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    This is really sad... I can definitely relate to the main character. I have been in this situation several times before, and it's never easy. Sometimes, the ache gets to be unbearable and it makes you wonder why you put up with it in the first place, but you continue to go on as you were before, even though it hurts you more and more to do so. Anyway, I really liked it, even though it was more a stream of thoughts than a story. Still, you made it work. Good job! Thanks for entering.


  • GuitarShank Moderators member
    February 1

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    This is cute. My only problem is that nothing happened. The character is just thinking, reminiscing about her friend and the boy she likes together. I feel it would help a bit if something would change between the beginning and the end of the story.

    Thanks for entering


  • Noisome.
    December 31, 2008

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    I wasn't sure what I thought of this. It was very heartfelt and emotional, but you seem to shift between formal and informal writing. Sometimes when describing the couple you were so informal about it, simply talking about them to me, but other times you used complex metaphors and lovely imagery. This was a very good write, and I love the subject matter, it can really be related to. Good song detecting, if you hit me with a message when I judge, I'll fork over some points.
    Thank you for entering this, good luck, and sorry it's taken so long for me to comment. (:
    -Sarah.


  • beezy92
    December 7, 2008

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    Really nice read. When you're a famous playwright, remember me and give me a discount, hey? I'm officially a fan! Great descriptions...I felt the feelings vividly. Of course I've felt the feelings in my own life, so I empathised. Anyway great, great read!

    "Damn I wish she wasn't my friend so I could attempt to win him over. They say, just because there is a goalie, doesn't mean you can't score. But this would be like shooting on my own net, attempting to score on a team member." Nice analogy. (=


    • Robin Omallia
      December 8, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks! I'm happy you liked it.
      The analogy is actually one of my best friends creation. Funny that she was the one who put me in the narrators position. XD But that's over... I have someone new.
      Thanks for reading!


  • Living.Disaster
    November 23, 2008

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    This was very well written and I really liked it.
    I Have Never been in the Girls spot but I have,and still am in the point of the person that is telling the story thing..
    The Story was SO Good and You have a Pretty Good Chance in my Contest.Good Luck.

1 - 7 of 7