I was at work when I first found out about the dead. It would have been one of the first encounters in Sydney, if not the world. I was in the supermarkets liquor department as I am on any given weeknight. I was on my knees, restocking the beer fridges, mind occupied with thoughts of the coming weekend. The chime notified me a customer was entering the store. I looked up, spotting the filthy, worn out whore. Not uncommon in the area, I tuned back to my work.1
The woman was coming up behind me. I turned to see if she needed help. I was in time to look into those pale, dead-glazed eyes, just moments before she lunged. Instinctively I hurled myself backwards, crashing into the fridge shelves, violently rattling bottles of beer. The woman was on me. Somehow, I managed to get one palm under her chin, her mouth loudly snapping shut just millimetres from my ear. The angle was terrible, I could only bring one arm to bear, literally the only thing between me and getting my face eaten off.2
‘Zombie whore,’ I hissed between gritted teeth as I tried to heave her off with all my strength. That’s right, from the start I knew what they were. I wasn’t in la-la-land. I knew a zombie when I saw one. 3
‘Your fuck’n dead,’ the redundant statement almost made me laugh despite the situation.4
Over the dead’s shoulder, an elderly woman, frightened and shocked, was taking in the commotion. She decided her cigarettes or chardonnay weren't that important. Unable to shift my weight off the shelves of chattering bottles, I was unable to free my arm, meanwhile the relentless whore was tiring out my other.5
Bob, the stores duty-manager, appeared at the entrance. ‘What the hell are you doing?’ No fear there, or rather, a different fear, the fear of being sued by an abused customer. The dead, momentarily distracted, shifted its balance enough for me to knock it arse-over-head. I reached into the fridge grabbing hold of the first thing that came to hand. With a triumphant roar, I brought the longneck down on the dead’s face with a dull, “thwack“. Furious, Bob was coming at me. Not safe yet.6
‘What?’ I asked defensively as I stood.7
Bob eyed the bottle in my hand, looked me up and down, and seemed to change his mind. 8
‘You’re fucked,’ he muttered. ‘I’m calling the police.’ There was something else muttered about a crazy bastard but it was too low to hear.9
The dead was beginning to rise. Better not make her fully dead, I kicked her back down, I might get in trouble.10
‘Fucking zombie,’ I explained to Bob. He thought I was mad. He just glared at me, receiver held to his head.11
‘We should kill her now.’ I backed away as she slipped in an attempt to stand.12
The manager slammed the receiver down and rushed apologetically to her. Screw him. He got his throat torn open for his concern. I left him gurgling through a bloody hole in his neck, zombie whore doing him hard.13
Outside the night was warm and humid and blissfully unaware of the blood-drenched carnival that was bound to commence anytime now. There was no need to hurry. The police would not be after me, they would be too busy dealing with the “crazy drugged-up hooker”, the dead body and the steadily increasing chaos and violence. No screaming, no fires, no sirens or shooting, there was time for one last pre-apocalyptic shop.
Author notes
I am adding parts to this story as they come to mind. I will probably re-arrange them into a chronological order when I am satisfied.
In a list
Is this more or less "funny" than the first part?
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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So awesome how the character doesn't try to give the zombie the benefit of the doubt. There's no, "Oh my god, what is wrong with this person?" No, he immediately knows it's a zombie. Please keep writing your zombie stories.
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Hi Jim, finally back to check part two. Was only November 17th when i checked out part one! Good stuff again i have to say. I get the impression that this character is a very dry, quick witted sort of person, hence his casual attitude toward the whole situation. And yes that does come across in the humour. I wonder if there is a little of yourself in there? I think i, like you, given the same set of circumstances wouldn't hang around asking questions. As was said in from dusk till dawn "I don't believe in vampires, but i know what i just saw". An attitude which means survival. So while the rest of the world is going to hell, your character is going for supplies. Will check back for part three in less than six months! Keep up the good work.
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Very good so far- good storyline with a splash of dark humor.
I like it.
I do have some small suggestions, however, and just know that these are only suggestions/my opinions- I hope you don't mind...
I turned to see if she need help. (P. 2)
need should be 'needed'
She decided her cigarettes or chardonnay wasn’t that important. (P. 5)
I would suggest replacing wasn't with 'weren't'.
And that's all I found- Overall, I really enjoyed reading this. I like your writing style. look forward to more.
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Hi, thanks for the suggestions. I applied them (because I think they work better)
. Glad you are enjoying.
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Daaaamnnnn
Wow that encounter with "the zombie whore" was really epic. Your details of the store really made me see everything. and once again real deep man.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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good
'Shaun of the dead' keeps coming to mind.
The character seems rather inhuman, as he doesn't give a damn for anyone else, doesn't try to help his manger, and only protects his assets and ass. Seems rather brutal.
However, the subtle humor comes across well. As I said before, Shaun of the dead keeps coming to mind.
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Very good once again. This chracter, from what I have read of him seems almost....heartless sounds too harsh, but I am unsure of how else to describe him. He does not help his manager, and just leaves him to die, hmm....
Good write. Wanting to read more now Kais x x
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Again - another interesting read. The nonchalance of the other characters - in fact the whole world - as if ignoring or 'down-grading' a problem will make it disappear into the cracks - makes this humorous. Not a 'LOL' humor - but more of a subtle stab at society in general - close to being a satire.
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A little bit of humor to the end of the world. This bit was a little short but otherwise quite well writen. You do fight scenes very well, clear, smooth. I'm impressed really. Somehow this made me thing of Stephen Kings 'cell' this bit and that story seemed to have a few similarities. You'll have to tell me when you have posted more.
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That is the second time in as many days that 'Cell' has been brought up, thought the first time wasn't relating to my writing. I must check it out. I wanted to make this part longer, I tried but it just didn't happen. Any other criticism would be appreciated.
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Yes, Cell is a very good book. Its a little zombie-isk but different all at the same time. Although its by stephen king and nothing he writes is 'normal'
I don't have any critism on this beside its length and that maybeyou could go a little deeper with the description? I know that's hard to do with first person naratives but its still good thing to have, plus it adds legth to an otherwise short section. -
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Have you ever read Stephen King's 'Dark Tower' series? Very good, also has vague references to zombies.
I have been thinking on environmental description but I can't quite seem to work it in. It is strange because some of my other first person stories are very descriptive.
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This was amusing, yes. Though I think you had adopted a similar gallows humor by the end of the last piece, with the zombie-sniping.
But this is definitely fun. Some stuffy dick of a boss gets what's coming to him-I like! Plus, it is an interesting change-up to have someone know right off the bat what's going on, plus have some free time before the real carnage starts to prepare.
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I did try and keep away from the gallows but I suppose me leaning towards dry black humor takes me that direction. The stuffy dick is actually modeled on one of my managers at work. Thanks for reading and commenting.
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Hm I like this series of stories so far. I wish it were as long as the first part but it was still a good read. Hope you continue it.
~M~
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Glad you are enjoying my story so far. I had aimed for this to be as long as the first section but when I put my pen down I decided it would ruin the piece to move forward. Eventually all these parts will be worked together as a coherent piece, hopefully a short novel.
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