The Wind Beneath My Wings

He was watching me as I looked in the mirror.  I dropped the mirror on the floor standing on it the glass smashed leaving pieces all over the grass beneath me.  It was dark and though there were sounds of owls in the distance I could not focus on the sounds.  Pain was burning me within.  The voices expected me to keep quiet and not to fuss.  It was alright for them they had not had the same relationship with Carla as I had.1

Carla was everything I had dreamed I would be.  She was the wind beneath my wings.  Now she was gone.  I sliced a piece of glass from the mirror through the veins in my arm and watched the blood drip downwards as he lapped the blood like he was drinking wine.  Cutting had become my way of dealing with things, at least for now.2

I could only live in the darkness of the night.  Whilst my friends slept.  I had to say good-bye to those I knew.  Inside I knew that the pain was getting the better of me, but I tried to conceal it as well as the cuts that formed the inside of my heart.3

There was only I and the man who formed my shadow.  I felt guilty about the relationship we had because it reminded me of my former life when I had loved and laughed.  I wanted to forget all of that.  Put it behind me as the pain disappeared so too did my shadow self.4

Nobody knew how I was feeling inside as my soul burned with anguish.  I wished I could have died in their place.  It was all too much.  I had to give my life up and become the queen of the darkness.  That voice that had led me here now was eating my soul.  Another cut hid my tears.  It did the bleeding so that I would not have to.  I was vanishing without a trace.  There was not many who knew me now and I was pleased.  If I could keep Carla alive in my heart somehow then pushing others away was the answer.5

There was no way back the mirror was smashed and so too was my life.  A voice in the darkness called, but I did not answer.  I knew that if I could remain in the darkness then I would not need to get married to the light.  Yet I wondered, momentarily if it would ever give up trying?  Why did that light call me back to a life without Carla?6

I fell on the floor.  Puddles of blood formed my shadow.  The mirror tore my flesh yet something made me want to piece it together again.  I would stop, fighting, then hold my breath and I knew in that silence nothing could reach me.7

The darkness was better than my life before.  At least it would hide me and I knew I could never be found unless I wanted to be.  I took a cup of blood from the grassy bed beneath me and drank to my freedom.  It tasted rich, dark and deep.  My inner soul had been released.  The mirror reflected the light from the stars in the sky above me.  It showed a different world.  A place that I could go and leave this all behind me.  I could go yet I knew that I would never feel the touch of Carla's heart again.  If I trusted the light then perhaps one day I could be reunited with my friend.8

Without thinking I pieced the broken mirror back together again.  Voices inside howled fiercely, but I knew I would be safe if I could accomplish this.  One more piece.  I looked in the mirror and slipped in solitude into the light.9