My hands cautiously grasp the object in front of me.1
Damn it...2
I forgot that I had fingerprints. I grasp the gloves next to me and slide them on my hand, all the while trying to remember that I am human.3
But that won’t stop me from what I am about to do. 4
My hand shakes as I finger the long handle, my body trembling.5
Why am I breathing so loudly?6
I try to slow down my breaths, trying to get the rhythm back. I try to ask God to forgive me for what I am about to do, but my thoughts creep in.7
I don’t want forgiveness; I am doing a public service…8
Instead I silently pray to not get caught. I hear a brassy clatter and realize I have dropped it. Slowly I bend down to pick it up, all the while averting my thoughts from what I was about to do. At least I try.9
I am doing the right thing, I know some say the act of which I am about to commit is wrong, but they aren’t in my situation…10
Relativism was the thought I clung to. 11
Ethics are only as ethical as the people who hold them…12
Or something like that, I can’t really remember at the moment. 13
I am perfectly ethical, but this is out of my hands.14
I look down at the knife.15
It is actually in my hands, I know, it is literately in my hands. But some people…16
I hear a creaking of footsteps. Stealthily I crouch down. Then a new thought enters my brain. 17
What if the knife doesn’t work? What then?18
I pick my brain for a solution.19
Wait, he hides the gun in his underwear drawer, I remember now. It was the first thing that son of a bitch reached for when…20
I shuddered, and I waited, stronger in the knowledge that I was doing the right thing. I listened for more noise, but all I could hear was silence. My glance fell upon the dresser, where a more effective weapon was placed. 21
Can I risk it? 22
Slowly, ever so quietly, I crawled on my hands and knees towards the prize. I grabbed the gun and laughed at myself for being so worried. 23
Even if I was caught, he cannot do anything…24
That thought scared me. 25
No, I have a lot to lose…26
But then the other voice started talking, the one that seemed to have followed me since the night he…27
You have nothing to lose, what is he going to do, he can’t hurt you… you are too far beyond that now. You have one purpose, one purpose only…28
I realized that I had to accept the truth, besides this is my only unfinished business left to do, after this I can finally…29
What was that?30
Footsteps were coming towards me. A shape appeared, I could see him now, the vile monster. 31
“You bastard.”32
He kept walking, not hearing or seeing me.33
What did I expect, the living cannot see us: he cannot see the one he destroyed through his crimes.34
BANG!35
A shot boomed, it rang right through his skull, and then... 36
silence.37
At last there was silence.38
Author notes
May the force be with you... by the way you have one of my nicknames
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Whoa creepy. I liked it a lot...the style was unique and I don't know how to describe how much I liked it without feeling like I am repeating what others have already said. I love when a story is written almost from a person's thoughts alone and this reminded me of that completely. It was a beautifully written piece and thank you so much for entering. Good luck!
Cassie
May the Force be with You
what nickname? -
Woah...heh..this is really good. I was kinda lost there but I got it in the end, you were a ghost..I think.
Good job in writing this. I don't know what the guy did, but he deserved to die!
heh, I like your style. -
This really was a fun read! I loved the thoughts running through the character's head. Hope to read more of yours in this category and good luck in the contest! Once again, Great write!!
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thank you!
~Laila~ -
this is excellent! i love how it's written, every thought that is running through the person's head is right there for the reader to see and this was magnificently written. geez, this is gonna be a hard contest to judge! i can tell already lol.
~Arachne
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dude, if you have killed someone i want to hear details, lol jk, thanks for taking the time to read and comment
~Laila -
i really like this, it's really good, i know how it feels to just want to kill somebody and you feel like you can't control yourself but in the end you do, great write!
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wow this is great....it makes your mind wonder about what he did or she did....idk its gonna make me think for a wile....good job....
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wow! That was great! And you pulled me into it as well! Suspense was amazing! I picked up some great foreshadowing:
"I listened for more noise, but all I could hear was silence."
It kind of leads you into what happens. This was a perfect murder. It made me question what he did, like did he rape her? Did he kill someone she knew? Or was it a girl? Maybe it was a guy. But I liked the image of an unexpected girl taking revenge over an abusive ex. -
Thank you so much, only one other person has commented on this one, even though I have promoted it so many times, it really means alot.
~Laila~ -
This is a excellent! It's so original! keep on writing!
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Thank you sooooooo much, that was the only time i have ever written something remotely like that, thanks
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cool poem
its really different. but in a good way. i love it. its so..so...im not exaclty sure how to put it (but trust me, its good!!).
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