slowly slipping


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slowly slipping away from life
tears become an ocean of pain
wondering thoughts run ramped
life is driving me insane4

slowly fading from this life
heart and soul full of pain
no quiet place, drums beat ramped
music in off tempo, makes me insane5

life slipping away from my soul
death whispers time to go
senses mixed up and lost
no sound can be found6

tears for living .. not in my soul
life is for giving before i go
friends and love ones all lost
wondering if i will ever be found7

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don't look at me..
as i am just9

slowly slipping10


away11


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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Kevan gold member
    November 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is really sweet and beautiful, though it carries behind it a deeper meaning. I think you're not slipping, but fading, and slowly becoming less involved in the world, as sad as it may be.
    This sounded good, in my opinion, because of the constant 'S' sounds you used throughout. Also, good job using rhyme... it sounded good and flowed well.
    Keep up the great work.

    xoxox.
    Kevan.

  • mcfreeman
    November 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Part of pain is

    life breaking through the soil, the chick tapping through the egg, the broken shades of glass reflecting no one.....


  • MsAlee gold member
    November 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    *hugs Sister* I know it hurts now, but it shall get better. Please feel free to pm me if you ever need to talk. I am here for you.


  • TNTrouble
    November 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Hugs My lil sis hard...I shall not be looking away from you when you are in pain.

1 - 5 of 5