Sunset

I walked down the shore of the beach slowly thinking about the events of today. How could this happen? How, out of everyone, could Josh have been picked. Tears began to form in the corners of my eyes and threated to pour out. I blinked, desperately tried to keep from crying, but my vision blurred and tears ran down my cheeks anyway, smearing my makeup.1

He kept assuring me that we would be together again, but how could I be sure? War was unpredictable, and I knew Josh. He would give his life for his country.2

I wiped furiously at my eyes, smearing my makeup even worse. I sniffled and tried to cheer myself up, but I couldn't belp but think the worst. My best friend Sasha's brother died in Iraq, and I couldn't help but think that Josh would too.3

I couldn't take it anymore, the sunshine, the happiness and laughter, and the optimism. The memories; Josh and I used to spend every summer, every weekend, here together. I couldn't stay at the beach. I turned and I ran. I ran to the parking lot, and to my car. When I arrived to the beat up thing I fumbled with the keys, not being able to see through the blurry tears that were pooling in my eyes. As soon as I got into the car I slammed on the gas and sped out of the parking lot.4

I swerved around cars, driving furiously. Honks from other cars and sirens blended into the background as I sped away. I didn't know where to, I just knew that I was going away, and I wasn't coming back. Ever. I couldn't stand being home. Seeing people. It was everybody's worst nightmare to be the wife or girlfriend of someone in the military. "It's hell." I had been told that so many times, and now I was experiencing it myself. The sympathy on everyone's face would kill me.5

By this time I had slowed down, and the sirens catching up with me. I saw a patrol car behind me motioning for me to pull over. Reluctantly I obeyed. The officer stepped out of the patrol car, popping the last bit of donut in his mouth before approaching. He signalled for me to roll the window down, which I did.6

"You better know why you were pulled over," the officer said.7

"Yessir," I replied.8

"And you know that you'll be receiving a ticket."9

"Yessir," I again replied.10

"Alright then," he said while righting of the ticket. "You'd better be getting back home. S'bout to be sundown."11

"Yessir," I replied once more. He nodded and went back to his car12

I put the car back into drive, but before I began driving again I thought. I thought about whetner or not I actually wanted to leave. What if he came back? What if he was looking for me and I was gone?" I turned around and drove back home. When I got to my apartment I dragged my feet down the hall and to my room. Then I collapsed on my bed and sobbed myself to sleep.13

I walked across the body strewn ground. There was no living person in sight. That's when I saw him. Josh was standing in the middle of the wasteland.14

"Josh!" I yelled with joy and ran torwards him. He extended his arms, ready to hug me in sweet embrace. As I was running I heard it. The terrible sound pierced the air and I saw it in his face. Josh's expression went completely blank, his eyes widened as he began to fall to the ground.15

"Josh!" I yelled again, not with joy but panic. I began running even faster towards him. Maybe, if I could keep him from hitting the ground he would be okay. As he body hit the ground to join the body strewn field I woke up.16

I wiped the sweat off my forehead and pulled up and out of bed. I staggered to the bathroom and looked at my pale reflection. I turned on the faucet and splashed icy water all over my face. When I walked back into my bedroom I looked at the clock. 5:00 P.M. I had slept the whole day. 17

Then I walked to the front door and opened it. This morning's paper sat infront of the door. I picked it up and walked to a recliner in the corner. I turned on the lamp next to in and opened the paper to the front page.18

IRAQ SOLDIERS SNEAK INTO AMERICAN CAMP: SHOOT NINE19

My heart stopped and I skimmed through the article, searching for the names. When they weren't listed I threw the paper down. I pulled on some clothes and decided to go to the beach.20

When I got there I walked slowly down the beach. In the distance, one person among the many stood out. Even though I could barely makeout what they looked like, they seemed familiar. I continued to walk towards them and squinted. It looked like they were looking for someone.21

As I got just a bit closer I realized. 22

"Josh!" I yelled with joy and ran to him. He turned, and when he saw me, he spread his arms wide, just like in my dream. Unlike my dream, I made it to his arms, and despite the bloodstained cloth secured around his right arm he was able to lift me up as we kissed in the light of the sunset.23

Author notes

mangoes dance on the moon


i used http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e267/drago013/lovers_shore_sunset.jpg as my prompt.


Tonight will end without sound contest:
YOUR TITLE COMES FROM THE LYRICS OF "MARY WITHOUT SOUND"!

my favorite song is either Falling On (Finger Eleven) or Animals (nickelback)
Favorite Letter = C

my username = donuts-and-music
"magic"

i don't know exactly why this is my little gem...i just like it.

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

1 - 21 of 21
  • DeathByChocolate
    March 15

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. really supercoolioawesomeish dude! i LOVE it
    hmm. this is totally random, but didja read twilight?


  • Savage
    January 22

    Edit | Reply
    Awesome! There were a few typos;

    'I thought about WHETHER or not I actually wanted to leave.' p 13.

    and another that I forgot. . Very heartfelt and warming at the end.


  • Abbiee
    January 4
    Edit | Reply
    wow very gushy


  • Noisome.
    December 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very good music detection skills, hit me up with a message after I judge and I'll fork over some points.
    This was a very heartfelt piece and I truly love the transitions in it as well as the feeling. The feeling is simply brilliant. You have a good sense of language and I really appreciate your entering it in this contest. You have a very well developed sense for imagery as well, and you portrayed this whole scene very vividly. Thanks for entering, good luck, and sorry it's taken me so long to comment. (:
    -Sarah.


  • Yeshua
    December 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Bravo!

    That was very well done. From beginning to end, it did not lag. And (dispite the typo's) it was a flawless piece. Thank you for entering "My Little Gem" and making it a fun contest for everyone. Due to an inundation of contest entries I will not be able to give an extensive comment on every entry. Good luck in all of your writing endevors.

    God Bless,
    Yeshua


  • Neolittlefish
    December 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Awww, I hate war. It impacts and hurts many people. I am just so glad that no-one in my fmaily has gone to war. You had very good detail and description well done!


  • wolf-storm
    December 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Good story great detail to it. Thanks for entering the contest.


  • ForestFaery
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oh my god... this story... it just really impacted me... because my boyfriend is going to go into the military and i couldn't bear it if they did that... and my brother is in it now thank you so much for entering it and giving me a chance to read it


  • Holey Pastry
    December 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow, this piece hit a stop in my heart. I've known so many people who have gone to war... it was hard.

    Though shorter than I had posted I wanted, it was a good read. Thanks for entering and the best of luck!

    -H.P.


  • islekine
    December 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Thanks so much for a great entry!

    This is a great write!

    Write on!


  • islekine
    December 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Well penned!

    Thanks so much for entering!
    Write on and on!


  • StarOfDreams23
    November 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this made me sad but then happy when he came back!!!! This reminds me of a guy friend of mine who went to war um last year and I haven't heard from him since then. I loved him but he loved another. I argued with him about going but I couldn't stop him. He was so depressed but I was depressed he could cheer me up by saying funny things and hugging me and by aruging with me that he could only be depressed. Well anyways....Great write!!!!!!!!!!!!


  • MsAlee gold member
    November 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very descriptive and I love the dream sequence in there.


  • Kagamine Rin
    November 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very sad, yet beautifully escriptive. I love stories that fall in this concept. Very creative. Much description and emotion. Good job!~

    I wish you luck in my contest.

  • crazy-me
    November 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    TOTALLY AWESOME YO!

  • Mr Violet
    November 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It's beautiful and strong. In paragraph three, you said something about 'cheering myself up' and I thought you could go a little deeper with that, show us what the character feels. The newspaper was a nice touch - gives the reader a little jolt of victory, of which the final touch is of course the end. Thank you for the read - a very good story.
    --ExdJ

    beginning: 2, language: 5, plot: 3, ending: 4, characters: 4.


  • colormeimpressed
    November 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    it's so not snow or leaves, but it still touched me. Good luck. =]


  • LiveLoveJabberwocky
    November 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    That was so sad. Well, the beginning was, when you thought he would die. I was thinking, "You better not kill him" and you didn't! Yay! It was really awesome. Well written too. I loved it!


  • Celestial Rose
    November 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Aww. Poor Josh! War is a sad thing. This was a great story, I was really caught by how you started this, with the speaker talking about what had happened that day. Its a great beginning. I love how you made the dream come true in the ending. Its amazingly well done! A good read.

1 - 21 of 21