I see you when it rains.

The rain is looked at as sad.1

It's blocks the sun, is depressing.2

But it cools, sooths, and lulls you.3

It dulls the sensations.4

"We loved with a love that was more than love."5

You and me.6

Day and night.7

Female and 8

Female.9

It was unholy to you.10

These feelings of love.11

You wanted me. I wanted you.12

"We loved with a love that was more than love."13

You knew it was going to be hard.14

You knew it would hurt, to see them turn away.15

But you said yes.16

The rain was our savior.17

We met when it rained.18

We loved when it rained.19

You sinned when it rained.20

It hurts, that that is how you see it.21

It hurts, that you weren't strong.22

You loved me. I love you.23

"We loved with a love that was more than love."24

You turned away from me.25

Told them I coerced you.26

Got me labeled.27

A witch.28

A harlot.29

I'm going to Harvard.30

I'll see you when we're old.31

You'll be the wife.32

I'll be the president.33

Your husband will bring you to my dinner parties.34

"We loved with a love that was more than love."35

She and I meet in the rain. 36

We love in the rain.37

We're going to heaven.38

"and we loved with a love that was more than love,39

I and my Anabelle Lee."40

Author notes

ok, my story was supposed to be option 3, but it doesn't really match. sorry.

for the contest "and then their were none..." it's option 4.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • TommyTRASH
    April 1

    Edit | Reply
    You've written this well.
    It's a beautiful yet sad peace and i think you've meshed the two quite nicely.

    There can be beauty in sadness.
    well done.


  • ForThePlague
    February 26

    Edit | Reply
    Well, let's see. I liked it in the essence of a poem. Emotional, descriptional, (if that's even a word) and most of all YOU. I felt like the rain actually was like a mom in this poem. Or at least a medium. Either way, this was definitely an awesome poem.


  • Memoirs of a Girl
    December 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Hmm. This is a very sad and emotional write. It's not much of a story, it's more along the lines of a poem, definitely so because of the formation. I like this one a lot, however, I would advise you to enter it in my contest over at allpoetry because I am hosting the same contest there.

    Thanks for entering!
    ~Memoirs


  • LoneWriter
    November 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This really flowed together! I don't know if I should put this in the category of Forbidden Love, or just Love. This was so beautiful and romantic. And I iked the way you were talking about their distant futures.
    Good Luck in my contest!
    ~LoneWriter


  • caitecola
    November 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    No, I see how it matches, sort of. This is very brilliant. I started crying, actually. Very beautifully written. Why did you choose option 3? How did you come up with this idea?


    • colormeimpressed
      November 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      it was actually option three for another contest, but when i saw your number three i thought of this story and put it in. It came from my head, i really don't plan until i sit down and write.

      • caitecola
        November 14, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Well, I like it. I will consider it in the contest. Great job! I know how it goes, just writing to write. I do that all the time.


  • Kevan gold member
    November 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    It's an interesting poem, and very well-written. The background is a good one, symbolizing the rain. Good job with that. Also, it's good that you used a rain as the "place where you met." Well, actually, you said you met when you rained, but still, it was a good idea.
    Best of luck in the contest and feel free to enter again, if you desire to.

    xoxox.
    Kevan.

1 - 8 of 8