What the Heck was I Thinking?!?!

[In the unconscious mind of a sixteen year old girl, two of the creations of her imagination have decided to confront her for playing God and in general messing around with their lives.] 1

Chris: [walks across the subconscious and kicks his creator.] Wake up! 2

Me: Huh? Wha? Wh-where am I? [looks around] Chris? Why'd you kick me...? 3

Chris: You know why, you bitch! Why the hell did you make me poor? And Native American? In the 1900s?! Do you know how my people got treated back then?!4

Me: Yeah... We learned about it in history class... Why? 5

Chris: Then why'd you do it?! [shakes roughly] Do you like seeing people miserable?! 6

Me: Ummm. No, not particularly... It makes me kind of sad... 7

Chris: Then why the f*ck did you have that guy shoot me in the hand?! 8

Me: Cause.9

Chris: [mimicking] Cause why? 10

Me: Cause someone needed to get hurt. 11

Chris: Well, why me? And why my hand? Why couldn't you have shot Mr. Reade instead?! 12

Cat: [stepping from behind Chris] He's an artist, you ho-bag. You're not supposed to shoot his hand! 13

Me: You do realize that technically I didn't shoot him. The guy at the warehouse did. 14

Cat: [slaps] You made the guy do it!15

Me: Sooo? 16

Chris: Rewrite it! 17

Me: [shakes head] Nuh uh.18

Cat and Chris: Why not?19

Me: It drives the story forwards. 20

Chris: [glares] No. It. Doesn't.21

Me: Yes. It. Does. Why did your uncle come into the story? 22

Chris: [mutters] Cause I got shot...23

Me: Uh huh. Now shut up about your hand, before I have them shoot you in the balls too. 24

Chris: But I was in a car! 25

Me: There could have been a freak gun accident. Don't ask me. 26

Chris: [grumbles and stalks off]27

Cat: [stays where she is and glares] 28

Me: What now? 29

Cat: Why did you make me so guilt-ridden? 30

Me: Cause you were guilty. Really you were. You can't hide it. 31

Cat: I should slap you again. 32

Me: If you do, I'll make a brand new love interest for Chris who's exactly like me. 33

Cat: You're a bitch.34

Me: Don't slap me.35

Cat: [turns and follows after Chris] You're still a bitch.36

Me: [waves cheerfully] And I'm still the goddess of your universe. 37

Chris and Cat: [glare]